I can't believe we're two months away from it being two years since the final court hearing. When you say it out loud like that, it makes it seem as if I am supposed to have gotten over it by now. Truth be told, I don't think I ever will. Maybe if she were being taken care of as well as we would have done, perhaps the anger wouldn't be there, but she's not, and it is.
A friend's daughter is in the hospital and she tweeted that it took three people to hold her daughter down so they could put the IV in. And just like that, BAM!
I was brought back to being in the doctors office as they gave A several vaccines. She did so well until the very last one, and then she started to cry because there were just so many shots! The anger of K making A go through that because she wouldn't give her proper medical care, makes my blood boil now, just as it made it two years ago. It was me sitting in that chair and comforting her daughter because she couldn't have cared less about being there for her daughter.
I tried to push the grief aside. I went to bed, watched a show, but it was just creeping up. I asked NYEBoy to hold me, as he rambled about some nonsense*. My stomach reminded me I hadn't eaten much today and perhaps I should reheat the spaghetti in the fridge. Oh, and hot chocolate might cure my tears.
It didn't cure them, well, at least cooking the hot chocolate didn't. Tears streamed down my face as I stirred the whisk. I forced myself to stop crying because I didn't want to dry out my contacts.
I gathered my food, and now that I've eaten and written this post, I'm feeling a little lighter.
I really miss A a lot. I know she'd have thought my hot chocolate was amazing (Redi-whip AND sprinkles, like a champ.)
* NYEBoy had pretty major dental work done on Friday. He's held up pretty well, but has needed to take his pain medicine at night. I can tell when it kicks in because his light-weight ass starts talking a bunch of nonsense. It's both amusing and annoying.