After spending most of the day in bed with a migraine, this is how my Friday evening went.
6:49 pm - NYEBoy calls, I start getting ready for date night
7:36 pm - brother calls, I don't hear the phone
7:41 pm - brother calls again, I don't hear the phone again
7:44 pm - noticed the missed call, call brother back, no answer
7:50 pm - try calling brother again, he answers, he's drunk as hell
8:03 pm - call my mom tell her my brother is drunk, ask if she sent him any money she says no
8:03 pm - brother calls while I am on the phone with my mom asking where I am, I lie and say I am on my way.
8:04 pm - call NYEBoy to ask where he was, thought he was leaving around 7 from work, no answer
8:05 pm - text NYEBoy asking where he was, thought he was on his way home, no answer
8:05 pm - call mom back, talk to her about brother being completely drunk, and it barely being 8 pm.
8:08 pm - call NYEBoy, still no answer
8:10 pm - brother calls asking where I am, tells me he knows I haven't left yet, I tell him NYEBoy was about to pull up and I would come get him, brother hangs up
8:11 pm - brother calls back saying "I just want to tell you two things before my phone dies, 1, you're a stupid fucking cunt and 2 I hate you and hope you die
8:11 pm - send NYEBoy a text asking where in the fuck he's at, no answer
8:12 pm - call NYEBoy, no answer
8:14 pm - call mom, she says she'll call me right back
8:15 pm - mom calls back, we talk, she confesses brother told her he went to AA, met some people, walked to gas station for cigs, went back to AA and everyone was gone, doesn't know where he's at or his car
8:18 pm - NYEBoy calls while I am talking to my mom, I tell him to come straight home to get me, he says he just got off work
8:24 pm - NYEBoy calls back to ask if I know where my brother is
8:32 pm - tell my mom NYEBoy got home and we're going to look for him
9:19 pm - call my mom telling her we found the area he told me he was at, but I don't see him or his car
9:28 pm - call NYEBoy to ask him if he's sees anything, we're walking the area separately
9:31 pm - we call each other again
9:32 pm - I call my mom tell her we still haven't found him, but we're in the right area
9:33 pm - I call NYEBoy tell him to meet me at the car, lets drive around
10:00 pm - call my mom, tell her we're driving across town to another AA meeting spot to see if his car is there
10:19 pm - call my mom back to tell her we didn't see his car, but there was another place to look
10:25 pm - decide to go back home to see if brother was home, I'm getting another migraine, need medicine
10:45 pm - arrive back home, find empty six pack in trash can and jello shots in fridge, no sign of my brother
10:52 pm - call my mom to tell her the above, decide to drive to another AA meeting location to look for his car
11:02 pm - arrive at other AA spot, no brothers car, decide to call my grandma because he called them last time he got arrested because they were the only phone number he remembered
11:05 pm - talk to grandma, find out brother had called less than 10 mins ago asking for my brother, ask Grandma to give me the phone number of where he called from, she says she will call me back since it's on the phone
11:06 pm - update my mom
11:08 pm - grandma calls back, gives me number, I tell her everything that's been going on
11:15 pm - call phone number brother called at, oops grandma gave me the wrong number, call grandma back
11:19 pm - grandma calls back with correct number
11:20 pm - call "Ross", "Ross" doesn't answer
11:21 pm - get pissed off that brother has had my phone number for about thirty minutes, but has no respect to call us and tell us where he's at while we've been looking for him for three hours, decide to go to the movies
11:23 pm - call mom to update her, tell her we were going to the movies
11:40 pm - brother finally calls, asking where I am at, tell him we've been out looking for him for three hours and he calls me a bunch of names, I hang up since he said he was at home
11:41 pm - I call mom, tell her brother is apparently at home and calling me a stupid bitch
11:43 pm - call grandma tell her brother is home
11:43 pm - brother calls, I ignore
11:50 pm - brother calls, I ignore
11:51 pm - call mom, tell her to call brother and tell him to go to bed and stop calling me
11:54 pm - brother calls again, I ignore
11:59 pm - call mom again, ask her what she said to him, said he didn't answer, bro calls her while we are talking
12:18 am - brother calls again, I ignore
12:30 am - movie starts
12:31 am - brother calls again, I ignore
2:45 am - movie is over, decide to eat breakfast at IHOP
3:15 am - talk about going to a hotel for the night
3:45 am - drive by house, notice brother is home, all lights are off but his bedroom, decide to go to hotel
4:15 am - find a hotel and crawl into bed
I didn't fall asleep until after 7 am. I was awakened by banging on the door from HOUSEKEEPING at 9:30, ousted at 11 for checkout.
We checked out the farmers market for a few minutes on the way to Cracker Barrel for lunch, decide to run to Costco afterwards, then decide to go see a movie because NYEBoy wasn't ready to see my brother yet. Watch The Vow, cute movie, head home to pick up script, back to Coscto to fill, hit dinner up at 7ish at Outback, and home around 8:30. I started getting a migraine before we headed to dinner, so by the time we got back home I needed a nap.
So, yeah, this was my Friday/Saturday timeline. Aren't you jealous?




4 comments:
I can understand that you're frustrated dealing with this situation, but you would do well to focus on the things you can change. I'm not sure why you spent so much time and energy worrying about your brother -- that isn't clear -- but you are the one who makes the choices to do so. I highly suggest Al-anon meetings, which will teach you more about the nature of addiction, how to see boundaries, and how to detach with love. My fiancé died a little over two years ago, directly from alcoholism, so I know how heart-wrenching it can be. Many hugs.
Sounds very codependent. Have you considered alanon support for family members?
And why do you let your brother live with you guys? Just curious, he sounds like someone I wouldn't want in my house all the time!
Thanks for the comments of concerns ladies, I'll write another blog post to kind of describe our relationship. My therapist and I have discussed not being codependent and such, but I'll just say Friday night was the first night I've ever gone to look for him, so this isn't a regular occurrence.
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