That Was Me.

[Warning: This post is about abuse. If this is a possible trigger for you, please don't read any further. This is a graphic video and should not be viewed with children around you.]

Either last night or the night before, I saw this video on Twitter and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

I was stunned. I'll let you watch it first.



Okay, like I said. I was stunned. But, probably not for the same reasons you are stunned.

I'm stunned because that was me. I was that girl. I was Hillary Adams.

That was my dad. My dad was her dad. My dad was Judge William Adams.

She was beat because she downloaded some video game or song online.

I was beat because I was playing with my french-style green beans.

I was that girl, screaming for my father not to spank abuse me.

I was that girl who didn't turn around because she didn't want to get spanked abused.

I was that girl pleading for the lashes to stop.

I was that girl who rubbed her leg that night because my leg hurt so bad and was so tender for the belt.

I was the girl who went to school the next day with a bruise the size of a baseball and frisbee on her right leg.

I was the girl who didn't tell anyone for fear that they might take me away from my mother.

I did not have a video camera to hide and video tape the abuse that went on on a fairly regular basis, but I can play the exact scene over and over again in my head.

Her father says he apologized and that it appeared worse on the video than it really was. Did I mention he's a family law Judge? Yeah. He should be removed from his position and the whole family needs therapy.

My father to this day has never apologized for beating me and no one ever talks much about it, but I'll never forget getting beat abuse. There is a fine line between a spanking and an abusive beating. This, was abuse, not a spanking*.

I wanted to jump through that video and beat the shit out of Mr. Adams and then I wanted to pick Hillary up and hug her and tell her she was going to be okay. I am now 27 years old and I will live the rest of my life knowing my father will never be able to put another hand/belt on me again. I only wish I could have stood up for myself at that age, but I know I was only a child.

(*For the record, I am against spankings of any type.)