This will be the first year in several, that I won't be mailing out Christmas cards.
There will be no Seasons Greetings from NYEBoy, InDueTime, and A.
Or Happy Holidays from NYEBoy, InDueTime, and Baby M.
There is no getting A bathed, dressed, and snapping hundreds of pictures.
No deciding on which photo, or photos, if we're lucky, to choose from.
There is no ultrasound picture of Baby M.
There is a broken heart.
There are empty arms.
There was a loss of a child.
Of two children, actually.
There is no catchy greeting to come up with.
I guess I could always send out New Years cards.
I could put the words "We started off this year losing A and then we rounded out the year with a miscarriage! Next year can't suck nearly as much as this year did! Happy New Year!!" over a picture of my empty arms.
1 comment:
I can relate to this post a bit too well. Since my miscarriage in October, I really have lost my "spark." I feel like I'm forcing myself through the holidays this year, forcing myself to smile, to give off the impression that I'm ok, that it's all fine. When it's not. And it's usually my favorite time of the year. We put up our tree, I bought Christmas cards to mail but there won't be any photo. I had plans for that photo two months ago, and now that's all changed. I am sorry, and hoping for peace and comfort for you this holiday season.
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