I wish I could take this week off even though I took off most of last week, but I can't.
I glanced at my Math calendar last night and I have a quiz today. A quiz on six lessons I haven't even looked at. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided to take an express session during such a life changing time. This sucks. I'm going to talk with my professor today to see if she thinks I should stay where I am at or if I could take the next express session of this same class at the end of the month. I'm not making below a B, but I feel like I should be more focused on these lessons and I am struggling to find the balance this week.
I want to soak up every single possible moment I can with her this week. I want her sleeping on my chest like she did when she was a baby. I want to eat whatever she wants to eat. I want to make messes and clean them up next week. I don't want to have to tell her to go watch a movie or play by herself so I can catch up on school work. I wouldn't and don't feel like parents should feel guilty about this in a normal situtation, but this isn't normal, and she'll be gone in four days.
Who cares about an upcoming test and paper due next week when the light of your life will be dimmed come Saturday. I'm struggling to find a healthy balance.
As my luck would have it, my phone started going off last night around 1:30 am. Thugboy sent 16 threatening text messages about how the Lord answered his prayers and my blood shall be smeared for my sins. I called the police in Memphi$ but there isn't anything they can do because it's his phone. They told me to file a report with my local police if I felt the need. I do, so I am, hopefully this afternoon or tomorrow since I have classes all day today. He's a fucking nut and I wouldn't put it past his crazy ass.
I feel terribly guilty for sending A off to school this morning when all I want to do is soak up every waking moment with her. I have no choice though. The school semester is continuing with or without me.
6 comments:
I'm sorry, honey. So sorry.
Continuing to hold you in prayer.
*hugs*
This sucks - I can't imagine the pain of knowing she's going away.
Remember - you can always take an incomplete and make up your classwork a little later. Spend the time you need to with A and deal with the consequences later. Next week, being busy will be helpful in distracting yourself.
Thinking of you, hon. Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way.
I would also consider writing to your congress representative about getting a law passed that requires the cell phone companies to block numbers at your request. That's about the only way it will get done, the police can't ever seem to do anything about threatening texts. I used to get them all the time from a girl at work, and my boss wouldn't take action since they were sent off the clock, and the police said there wasn't enough evidence. At&t refused to block her number.
I think if you contact your congress representative, they might could get something going for you. Worth a shot.
Sorry to hear things are even more stressful. I'm confused though since I thought Thugboy was glad for all you were doing for A...and also thought you and your sister were getting along okay since it sounded like your dad was the one being more of an a$$ than she was.
Take care and enjoy this week as much as possible.
I am soooooooo bummed and mad that you don't get to keep A. You've been mothering her for years. Stay safe.
I'm so sorry for what is happening. I only hope that A remembers what you have done for her when she is older. I hope that somehow, someway, someday you and she will be able to re-connect. Hugs.
Post a Comment