This could about sum up my emotional state lately, as well as the name of the movie we finally took A to see this weekend.
On the light side, the movie was awesome. We all three loved it. A kept asking question after question about the movie after it was over. She even told us Rapunzel WAS real and made demands to go see her one day.
And on the heavier side, my emotions seem like a tangled mess. Happy to spend the time we have with her, hopeful we are going to win, but also the what if's creep in as well. I won't go into details right now, but I did hear some hopeful news over the weekend. Although it doesn't make our case a slam dunk, it does give me a bit more hope.
I'm doing OK all things considered, especially as the day to day demands are upon me, like taking care of everyone, the house, and shcool, but sometimes I start getting panic attacks. Every time I see a court room on TV my chest tightens and I wonder what it's going to be like to be in a hearing lasting several hours. I hear people talking about the Superbowl and realize A may not even be here to watch the Superbowl with us. I think about A's friends and teachers at school. Will she get to say goodbye or do I have to hand her over right away?
I just need to take a deep breath and trust in God.