An Unnecessary Explanation

I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself to someone who only has a blog to bypass the block on anonymous comments, especially when the statement on their post less blog says I don't care if "its your blog, and you're entitled to your feelings", if you put them out there for the world to read...prepare to get some criticisms, but I do. But, before I do, I want to preface this by saying it's very easy to judge one's life on what they choose to share on their blog when you don't share anything to the world about your imperfect life.

It all started in August when she basically said K was better off working for Walmart instead of going to get an education. I decided against defending myself then after I talked with some friends on Twitter and realized how totally wrong she is. For the record, K was working at Walmart before she made the courageous decision to move in with us. Do you think for a minute that she would have left the family and Thugboy if "working at Walmart" was working out for her? She couldn't afford a car, insurance, or a place to live. She was barely able to afford some food, clothes, and gas. How is that responsible parenting? She knew she had to change, for A. Of course getting a college degree is going to be tough for someone who got her high school diploma 9 months pregnant by cheating and having her mother do her homework, but that doesn't mean trying to get an education isn't worth it for her or her daughter's sake.

Then, she made another comment last week. She said A was acting like a brat because I took her to the movies, for the first time, at 10 pm. Yeah, I could have let them go, or let K stay at home, but we decided to try to all go. I planned out getting her to sleep 20 minutes before we were to leave, hoping she would stay asleep to and during the movies. And you know what? It worked. She didn't wake up at all there or during the movies. Some of the adults around me were louder than A. We don't have a "babysitter" and once in 8 months of being together isn't going to kill us for the adults to get some uninterrupted family time. As far as the car goes, it's not possible for them to take the car or ride a bus. They have different schedules and this wasn't the sole reason A has been cranky lately. Life for her has been this way since they moved here. It's our normal.

Yesterday, she got diarrhea of the mouth. She went on and on about how horrible the movie experience was for A, the one she slept through and didn't even know about, about how K should work at Walmart instead of getting an education, and how bad of a sister, aunt, and spouse I am. I had to laugh at the comment that I am a sponge and you can only work at home, or stay at home if you're raising a family. NYEBoy and I made the decision as a couple, before I moved down, that I would work at home/stay at home. I could work as much or little as I wanted. Before the girls moved down here, I worked quite a bit, I made powerseller on eB@y which you can't do by being a sponge and sitting on your ass. I haven't had the time to work nearly as much as I want to since the girls moved down here and I do want to but there is only so many hours in the day. Also, I worked for 10 years before moving down here, being called a sponge cracks me up. And for you to say "I brought my redneck family" down here is laughable. Anyone who has followed my blog or knows me outside of this blog knows I wouldn't "bring my family along for the ride" because it's not worth it. The girls originally came down here to move in with my Aunt and Uncle, but after seeing they weren't going to help K get on track, NYEBoy and I made the tough decision to open our home up to help K get on her feet to be able to support A on her own one day.

I think I'm doing the best I can as a sister, aunt, and spouse and at the end of the day, that's the best I can do. If you think I'm such a horrible person, stop reading my blog. Come live a day in my shoes and try not to whine about it. My life has been put on hold to allow other's to continue to grow. It's not easy, but it is what it is.


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If you have a good thought/prayer to send our way, we could use it today around 3pm EST. I'll explain why later.

The Crazy Shit She Says: Dreams

Since my Mom got her laptop recently, we've been having video chats via Skype every day or two. I'm hoping this will convince my Mom to come down here during Spring Break so I can get a break.

My mom was having issues getting logged in, when A and I had this conversation.

Me: It looks like Grandma can't log in. I think something is wrong with her computer.

A: *pouts/cries* NOOO! I want to see her!

Me: We can call them, if you want, but otherwise I can't make her computer work 550 miles away. I'm sorry.

A: *stops pouting/crying* I got an eye-dee-uh.

Me: Oh yeah? What's that?

A: I can go to sleep. Then, when I am dreaming I CAN SEE GRANDMA!!! WOULDN'T DAT BE SO GREAT?

Seriously? I love this kid.

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And for the record, things seem to be getting better from a week ago. I think the big man upstairs got the message because we've just been dealing with normal 3 year old behaviour instead of the monster.

Maybe it wasn't God, maybe it was taking her to her first 10 pm movie on a Friday night, the one I carefully planned and she slept completely through. Just another notch on my already unstable parenting skills. Thugboy, is that you?

Show & Tell: Girl Scout Cookies

Samoas, Do-Si-Dos, Thin Mints, Tagalongs, and Shortbreads are just a few of my favorite things! Or at least, my favorite Girl Scout Cookies! It's been a few years since I've actually had any Girl Scout Cookies. I just haven't seen any out and about during the time they sell them. Good for my waistline and wallet, bad for my cravings.

When I saw they had Girl Scout Cookie ice cream, I fell in love.

Can you imagine my surprise when I found comparable cookies at Dollar General (of all places!)?



Their Fudge Peanut Butter cookies are similar to Tagalongs, but with a little bit more peanut butter. The Fudge Caramel Coconut cookies are similar to Samoas but with a little more cookie. The Mint Thin cookies are similar to, obviously, the Thin Mints, but with a white cookie instead of chocolate.

Although nothing truly tastes like a Girl Scout Cookie except, well, a Girl Scout Cookie, these are definatly a comparable cookie in taste especially at $1.85 a box, when you can't find the real thing.

What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

Boundaries

One of my Mom's co-workers has taken it upon herself to step over the boundaries of respect and privacy to search GoogIe for my blog. Apparently she's decided to go back and read my F@cebook feeds to see what to search for on GoogIe. So, I removed her from my feeds and my blog from GoogIe indexing.

It might be too late, though. I do have suspicious activity from someone who visited my blog off and on for about six hours. (If YOU did find my blog, and you know who YOU are, don't you have better things to do with your time? Like taking care of your children and husband?)

If you're my family and you have found this blog, let me give you this reminder.

If you're a certain co-worker who has found this blog, please go get yourself some therapy. Jealousy isn't a very good Christian habit to have. Doesn't God say something about not being jealous of thy neighbor? Perhaps you should be more worried about your husband and children than finding out every detail of my life. If I wanted you to read my blog, I would have given you the address. Stop being a nosey bitch and worry about your own life. Just remember, two can play the game of stepping over boundaries.

Facebook Family Ties

Seemingly over night, my Mom's entire family has joined Facebook, excluding my Grandma, but including my Mom. Shocking! The woman just bought a laptop last month for crying out loud. This is her first computer outside of work, welcome to the 21st century, Mom! Shhh, just don't tell her about blogs or Twitter. I can only handle my family taking over one social media fad at a time. Thankyouverymuch.

On one hand, I kind of like it. I enjoy keeping in touch with everyone from the doctors office I worked at. I enjoy keeping in touch with those family members I normally don't get to see once every year or two or three.

There's also the downside, in which everything I post is criticized by my overly critical family. How dare we take a sleeping A to a movie at 10 pm for the first time ever. (She slept the entire time, wish some of the loudass adults would have done that.) How dare I have a bad day. (Didn't you know I ASKED for it by bringing the girls here, even if my bad day had NOTHING to do with them.) How dare we go out to eat. (Don't you know you can only eat healthy at home?) How dare we vote for Obama. (Don't you know he's the cause of your taxes going up and he's a Muslim.) How dare this, how dare that. Blah. Blah. Blah.

The biggest upside of my Mom joining Facebook is that we're actually talking more. She even told me she was proud of me for the first time, in well, forever. (Ever?) She told me I was doing a great job with the girls. She says she wishes K was more like me in the parenting department. If it's late, she'll send me a message telling me to take my ass to bed.

I think the good outweighs the bad with having my family members talking to me on Facebook. There's pretty much only one family that seems to never have anything nice to say to me. I usually just say shit back to make them look stupid or ignore them completely. I think my biggest complaint about having my family on Facebook is some of them blame Obama for everything, some of them are judgmental Christains, and they think Facebook isn't a place to cuss. Oh, and we can't forget the senile Uncle who refuses to come to family get-togethers because another Uncle didn't friend him fast enough on Facebook. (Yes, really.)

What about you? Is your family on your Facebook?

What Patience?

As a nanny and daycare provider, I have always leaned towards the younger children. It's not that I had a favorite child, per say, but I did prefer infants and young toddlers compared to preschoolers. As a babysitter, you're not really around children enough to get annoyed at them, but as a nanny and daycare provider, I was usually in the one year old room because I enjoyed being around them more than preschoolers. I've often been ask how I can remain calm in a room with 15 or 16 one year olds or how I managed two newborns, two-one year olds, two-two year olds, and a nearly four year old. Truth be told, the nearly four year old was more trouble than the others combined.

Seemingly over night, I'm having nightmares from the spoiled brat nearly four year old I dealt with a few years ago. A has gone from the sweetest kid to a hell on wheels three year old. And I can't deal with it. No, seriously. I can't fucking deal with it. I'd rather be dealing with the 1 year old Octuplets than A.

Nothing seems to be working in terms of discipline. She laughs at time out. She laughs when you take away her cartoons. She laughs when you tell her you're going to box up her toys to give them to other kids. She doesn't listen to a word I tell her.

I know it's because of a combination of things, but those reasons aren't enough to back me from the edge. I know she's acting like this because, well, she's three. I know she's acting like this because her Mom is a bitch to her. I know she's acting like this because she wants attention. I know she's acting like this because we're in a car or running errands four to eight hours a day. I know she's acting like this because she doesn't take naps for the most part. I know she's acting like this because she watches too much SpongeBob and iCarly.

But, I can't help to feel frustrated. I can't change her mother being a bitch despite my best efforts. I can't help there aren't enough hours in a day. I can't help that we have to drop off and pick up the crew every day to two different colleges and sometimes their schedules have a gap that isn't big enough to go back home, but is long enough to force us into errand running. I can't help that if she takes a nap, she doesn't go to sleep on time at night. I can't help that SpongeBob and iCarly give me just enough time to take a shower, blog, or work online for a few minutes at a time.

I'm just not dealing with things very well lately. My life stressors are great enough without the new behavioural issues with A. I don't want to spank. I hate yelling. I just want her to enjoy what she has, to listen to me, and to be a well behaved child.

I'm trying to convince my Mom and Grandma to come down next month during the crew's spring break to help watch A so I can get some work done. I've even debated on looking into a mother's day out type program to send her to a day or two a week. I can't wait until the fall for her to go to preschool for a break. I need it sooner. I needed it yesterday. I'm at my breaking point.

Show & Tell: Smile

As I've mentioned before, I had a rough childhood, which included my teenage years. One of my best friends from high school painted this for me in her art class and gave it to me.



It was just a reminder, that no matter how tough things get, sometimes you just need a reminder to smile. She gave it to me on May 4th, 2000. With the exception of the pink area, it's still survived several moves, including the big 500 mile one. I always have it near my desk as a reminder. Smile.


Speaking of smiling, I've posted a new review of something that really made me smile. Go check it out.

The Crazy Shit She Says: Miss No Manners

A has bad manners. I don't know why, but I think it's in part due to watching too much Spongebob. Thanks Patrick, you nasty fucker. This kid will burp and fart, ANYWHERE. Sometimes she'll say excuse me, other times she just ignores the sound and continues on with whatever she was doing.

A: *farts* (A long, steady one. I know. Gross, right?)

A: s'cuse me.

Me: *slowly turns head around towards the irruption*

A: *looks at me with big eyes*

Me: *I look back with evil eye*

A: *eyes get bigger, face drops down, forehead pokes out* I said s'cuse me!

Me: *slowly turns back around*

I'm thinking I should get these ass-and-mouth-outbursts on video tape. First date or Wedding, anyone?

The Amazing Race

Oh, The Amazing Race, not to be confused with The Amazing Trips, who by the way are donating $2 for every comment left on this post to a hospital in Haiti where her cousin volunteered. So when you're done reading my post, go read her post and leave a comment.

Last night was the season premire of The Amazing Race. Now, I don't normally watch this show, but I am SO fucking excited about this year! Why, do you ask? Because Jeff and Jordan are on!!!!!



If you'll recall, Jeff and Jordan were on Big Brother last summer. Jordan actually went on to win Big Brother. So, to find out they are on The Amazing Race has me so! very! happy!.

I just wish I could fast forward to see if they won. LOL Jeff and Jordan both have twitter, so if you are a fan you can follow them too!

I think they are so cute together! I hope they win. GO TEAM JJ!!!!!

Don't forget to go leave a comment!

Happy Birthday, K!

K turns 22 today. (Yes, she's a Valentine's Day baby! Even though, she has been corrected multiple times over the past few weeks because apparently, she's always thought she was a valentiMes baby. Ah, the joys of an illiterate sister!)


I decided to burst out the crafty side and let A help create her Mom's birthday card. I know K is A's mom, but it's still interesting to hear people say it aloud or to see it written down. I guess it's further proof of how I thought I would always been a mom before my 4-year-younger sister. Damn infertility.


[Front]



[Back]



We're going to eat crab legs on Monday night (it's the only night of the week this particular restaurant has them) and I'm taking her shopping for some clothes after she gets out of class on Monday. It'll be fun.

NYEBoy took K to pick out her cake at Cold Stone, so we'll be chowing down on an Oreo cheesecake in celebration of my Mom's 3rd mistake. (Just kidding...)

On a side note, Happy Valentine's Day NYEBoy. I love you!

2010 Winter Olympics

Ah, it's that time again, the Winter Olympics! I love, love watching the Olympics. I love the opening and closing ceremonies I love rooting for the red, white, and blue! U. S. A! I love watching the different sports compete.

Growing up, my favorite part was figure skating. Of course, that was back in the Nancy Kerrigan days. I still have this card in a box from my childhood. At 10 years old, I was in love with Nancy Kerrigan. Her smile, her long dark hair, and the way she moved on ice made me wish I was a figure skater too.

I think Apolo Anton Ohno is so fucking hot. I also love Lindsey Vonn and Shaun White! I'm excited to watch!

What about you? What's your favorite part of the Winter Olympics?

There's No Place Like Home

There's no place like home,
There's no place like home.



Where the fuck is my home? Our lease is up July 31st. I can't stand our property manager and I am desperate to move. In an attempt to beat all of the students about to be getting their acceptance letters from F$U and F@MU next month, I started looking last month for a new place.

I've sent over 150 inquires, seen at least three times as many listings online, visited at least 20 locations, and scoured the city for countless hours looking for that magical dream home. I'm exhausted. We've only seen one location that we even remotely considered in-person, but even that was only "a back up plan if all else fails".

We really need a 3 bedroom place with lots of storage space for my inventory, a decent size kitchen area with ample storage space for our food, pots, and pans. NYEBoy needs a work area. A needs room to be able to play. And I need all of this in a decent area, preferably closer to the school, and within our budget.

It seems so simple, yet unattainable as I search listings. I can only hope we'll find this place sooner, rather than later. The thought of having to stay at this place another year is enough to make me want to move back to Mem.phis*.


*Just kidding, honey. Sort of.

Show & Tell: The Deadliest Catch

I have been watching The Deadliest Catch on Discovery for years now. I love crab legs, so a show about crab fishing is right up my alley.



Captain Phil Harris was one of my favorite captains on the show. His sons are hot. (Shh, don't tell NYEBoy.) When I heard he had a stroke a few weeks ago, I cried. Then I prayed.

I was having trouble sleeping so I got online. I just saw he died a little bit ago. I am devastated. It's as shocking as Billy Mays dying. I just can't believe it.

My heart goes out to his boys.

RIP Captain Phil, you will be greatly missed.

Did you watch the show? Who's your favorite captain?

The Crazy Shit She Says: Meow

We've been busy house hunting over the past few weeks. A likes to talk about what's going on in the neighborhoods we drive through.

K and I were talking

A: Hey y'all do you see dat catty-kit?

Me: Do what?

A: Did y'all see dat catty-kit?

Me: *trying to figure out if I'm hearing her correctly*

A: I said catty-kit.

A: *pause* I mean, kitty-cat.

Me: *laughing*

A: Yeah, kitty-cat. Did y'all see dat kitty-cat?

Move over Tweety Bird. A makes it sound so much cuter!

Who Dat?

When my parents divorced my father got us one day a week, on Sundays. That of course meant he had us on Superbowl Sunday. We always made a party of it. He always had a veggie tray, chips and dip, and ordered 100 hot wings from a local place back home. We even played a betting game and the winner of each quarter won $5. It was a lot of fun, but I hadn't really done anything like that since I stopped going to my dad's house when I was 14.

About two weeks ago, I decided I wanted to try to do a Superbowl party for the four of us. I planned out the menu, bought the items, and waited. The menu included wings in two different flavors, ribs, chicken fries, mini burgers, nachos, a veggie/fruit/pickle tray, and chips and rotel. I was able to make everything but the mini burgers. I was just too tired and kind of just wanted to enjoy the game with the family instead of cooking the entire time.

Before the game started, we weren't sure which team to pick. Were we on team Kendra Wilkinson (aka Colts) or team Kim Kardashian (aka Saints)? Part of me wanted the Colts because seriously, I could totally picture Hank Baskett sitting back a year ago saying, "In the next year, I'm going to get released from the Eagles, knock up a Playboy Playmate, marry her, she's going to have my baby, and then I'm going to play in the Superbowl with the Colts." Isn't that like, every mans dream? Then, there's New Orleans. They've been through so much. The city and team deserved it.

In the end, it was a good game. The comericials were mediocre. The halftime show sucked. But, the best team won.

WHO DAT? DA SAINTS, BABY!

Did you watch the game? Which team were rooting for?

Review & Giveaway Blog!

As you can see, I've adjusted a few things again. I still have a few more things to tweak, but I dig the new look. Whatcha think?

On top of the adjusting, I've also added a Review & Giveaway blog. I've even posted my first review!

Hop on over and check it out. In Due Time Reviews.

Sleep, Babygirl, Sleep

When the girls moved in with us, I had A on a nice sleep schedule until her mother went crazy and decided she didn't like her going to sleep on her own. Whatever.

K likes to yell and scream at A at bedtime because she wants to study in her room after A has fallen asleep, but A doesn't fall asleep fast enough for her. My problem with this is that A doesn't get deep sleep with a light on for hours at a time and every night she goes to bed with her mom yelling at her.

About a week ago, I started putting A's boppy in my lap, putting A on top of it (hugging me, not laying acorss me) and wrapping her blanket around her nice and tight, and I sing and rock her to sleep. After she's asleep, I put her in my bed where it's nice and quiet. This way A gets the deep sleep she needs and K gets to finish her school work. K comes and gets A when she's finished studying. It works out for all of us, for now. I'm sure K will be bitching soon enough.

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A has always loved me singing to her, even as an itty bitty baby. One of our favorite songs is A Whole New World from Aladdin.



She usually sings it along with me the first time and it's the sweetest sound you'd ever heard.

It dawned on me the other day, she hasn't seen Aladdin before. So, we'll have to introduce her to the magic that is the genie and magic carpet ride soon.

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When we were at Chickfila yesterday, the lady taking our order asked A who her favorite princess was and she pointed to me and then gave me a big hug. Seriously, can this kid get any cuter sometimes?

Show & Tell: 1,000

This post marks my 1000th blog post. Can you believe it?

If you would have told me I would have blogged for four and a half years and a thousand posts, I would have laughed. So would have my 10th grade English teacher.

If you would have told me I would still be a childless infertile after blogging for four and a half years and a thousand posts, I would have cried. And I think I might as soon as I finish this.

A lot has happened over the past 1,000 posts. There have been many, many lows and some nice highs. I started this blog as an infertile early 20-something. Shortly after starting this blog, I found out my teenage sister was pregnant by a Thug who almost sent her to jail for 15 years the year before. I gathered the strength to end a relationship that was more harm than good. I fell in love again, with NYEBoy. I quit my job and moved 500 miles away to be with said guy. Six months ago, I convinced my sister to leave said Thug for the chance to get on her feet for her and her daughter's sake.

It's been a roller coaster ride for sure. I think I've grown as a person over the past 1,000 posts. I instead of letting life fester inside, making myself crazy, I pull up a window and vent through my finger tips. I've also met some of the most amazing women through this blog.

I hope over the next 1,000 posts I continue to grow as a person. I hope I continue to meet more amazing people and their stories. I thank you for your comments and support over the past 1,000 posts and hope you'll stick around for the next 1,000.

PS: I decided to add a new header for my 1,000th post. Whatcha think?

The Crazy Shit She Says: Say What?

Sometimes K will tell A that she will get her a treat while she's at school if she's a good girl. The other day, she got her a bag of skittles. A few days later after we dropped off K, A had a question...

K: Bye, love you both. *shuts door*

Me: *starts driving away*

A: Hey, Due, is momma going to get me some skemenems?

Me: Do what?

A: Is momma going to get me some skemenems from school today?

Me: Some what?!

A: Some skemenems.

Me: *laughing*

A: I mean, uh, is momma going to get me some sk...ittles?

There you have it folks, a new candy. If skittles and m&m's ever had a baby, they would be called skemenems.

Shoeless Kid

Have you ever heard the saying "The cobbler's kids have no shoes"? I didn't really understand it until NYEBoy and I got together. You would think it would be a great thing to have a spouse who is getting his PhD with c0mputers, but it's not. I'm always at the bottom of the list.

Behind his school.
Behind his boss.
Behind his friends.
Behind my family.
Right
at
the
very,
very
bottom.

My desktop went haywire a few months ago, shortly after K moved in with us. She was obviously looking at something she didn't need to and since she's never dealt with a computer before, it didn't take long for my computer to shut down.

If you'll recall, NYEBoy bought me a macbook air about two years ago. Despite have spendt a fortune on it, I still prefer my desktop. I think in part because I'm leagally blind in one eye and damn near close in the other.

I'm very happy to have my old dinosaur back! I wonder what he's going to be asking for. Heck knows I stopped bitching asking him to fix it months ago.