Every time I get up and dust myself from the hard knocks of life, I feel like I have just enough time to smile before I get knocked down again. Some days, I can hide it, but then there are days like today, or the past few days, where it's so hard to fake it. The hearing is so close, yet so far away all at the same time. I'm struggling not to cry about it. I'm struggling not to feel like the world is out to get me.
We have an emergency hearing next week regarding Christmas break. Yes, people, they called a hearing instead of calling me. Are you kidding me? Now, I have to pay court costs and my lawyer because my sister won't just talk to me. I know this is mainly my father's doing, and it kills me how much control over my life he has. I have two finals next week, one the same day as the actual hearing. My focus needs to be on these finals, not on this hearing.
I received a note card this morning from someone. This is what it said...
"Your strength, perseverance, dedication, and big heart amaze me! Continue to believe in yourself and the choices you are making - YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS - and in your heart you know it's true. I'm so proud of you and I believe in you 100%."
I need to read this every time I get down. I don't know how much bumpier this road is going to get, but I am in it for the long hall, and at the end of the road, it will be worth it. It's just hard sometimes to deal with an unfair and unreasonableness of the situation when you, yourself have no control of certain things.