As we neared the AIabama/FIorida border sometime this morning, NYEBoy and I agreed that this trip was all for nothing. With the exception of seeing a few friends, this was a wasted trip. NYEBoy could have at least logged some hours and I could have done some studying.
The 'plan' was for NYEBoy, my mom, and myself to talk to a few family members about everything going on. I brought all the documents with evidence we had. NYEBoy had the pictures. And we were both were willing to answer any questions that they may have about anything. Well, that didn't go as planned. Before my mom had a chance to get off work and get to us, my uncle started talking to NYEBoy about everything. My mom finally came in somewhere during the beginning of the conversation.
I didn't hear much of the conversation, but once I heard my mom in there talking, I went in to have a conversation about everything. From what I gathered, it was basically that it was my fault this was all happening. I should have left the girls there even though K was calling me telling me she wasn't happy. My aunt would go get food for her son, but K and A would be eating watery tuna fish. They went to go get ice cream, but didn't bring any for either both girls or just K, because 'she didn't need it'. (Because she was a little overweight at the time.) They would tell K she could only have one coke a day. My uncle and older cousin smoked, but K wasn't allowed to. K wasn't happy. Yes, we wanted more for her, like going to school, than to work at Walmart, and K wanted that too, but my aunt and uncle did not.
Then my Uncle looked at me and said, "If I talk to K and she lets me take custody of A, will you drop the case?" I said "No." Believe it or not, this case isn't about whether or not I have custody, K doesn't want anyone besides her self having custody because if someone else gets custody of A, she can tell her "They took you from me. I never gave you up." His response to my no was "See, this is ALL about the baby to you." It is, but it's not. I didn't move the girls down here to get custody of A. I brought the girls down here to get K's life on track for herself and A. Once K started going downhill, you're damn right, it became about A. And I don't think his house is better than mine for A. A has been with me, several days a week, since she was a few months old. A doesn't have that type of relationship with my aunt and uncle. There is nothing wrong with where she's currently residing and the care we are giving her. K knows this. My uncle just thinks it's all about K hating me or something.
After that, my Uncle started yelling at me telling me he was better than me and I didn't deserve to be the parental figure for A. He said he I was uneducated and I needed to get off my lazy ass and get a job. Now mind you, I've been going to school full time since August, and I've been working since I was 15, which was way earlier than all of the other grand kids. He said the text messages we have of K were nothing but "private slang" and no different than how I talk. When I told him I didn't talk like that, he said every other word I post on Facebook is fuck. Okay, so cussing is the same thing as someone generally not know how to spell? Silly me. There goes my uneducatedness.
When I answered each of his complaints, he changed it to something else. He knows I've worked since I was 15. He knows I'm in school and doing damn well. He knows I'm a damn good parental figure. He was grasping at straws for reasons he only knows. I don't get it. A few months ago when we visited, he said K was 'fucked up and would never change,' and now she's a great mother and I shit on my sister? REALLY?
The things that he said to me were down right disgusting and rude. I will never have another thing to do with him as long as I live. I didn't deserve the shit he said to me. I'm not sure what hurt worse, him saying those things to me in front of the whole family, or the whole family sitting there letting him say those things to me. Noone stood up for me and that hurt.
I'm not sure if I'll be visiting them for Christmas. I have a friend who offered to let me stay with her if we came in town, so if I need to come to town for visitation, I will, but I just don't care to see half the family after all that shit.
My uncle's issues with the case are moot. He says they let crackheads get their kids back, which is true, but what he doesn't realize is that we didn't file for permanent custody. We filed for temp0rary custody. This means that K's rights will not be terminated. I am just "borrowing" them until she gets on her feet and can properly take care of herself and her child. My uncle says that my father beating me when I was a child won't matter because I don't have pictures, except the lawyer told us that if I testified to that, and my mother corroborated the story, it was a viable issue. He asks like he's a lawyer, but he's not. I know what my lawyer has said, and I know my lawyer doesn't think that we don't have a chance at winning. Of course this is a diffucult case, but the fact of the matter is that it is worth fighting for, and if the girls had lived with him, he would have done the same thing, or if it was his grandchild in danger, he would feel the way my mother does.
Of course, since my uncle has a lot of money, the rest of the family looks to him for guidance even though, what he says may be bullshit. The funny thing is, the man that told me I was uneducated, has only had a day of community college in his entire life. I think I have about 14 weeks more of 'education' than he does.
As far as I am concerned, he's in the same boat as my father. I hate to stop talking to my aunt and cousins, but he burned that bridge, not me. I'm glad I know his true feelings about me. We can stop playing coy.
I have to come up with $1800 by tomorrow for the lawyer. My aunt said we needed to pray about it. I guess the prayer wherein I begged God to let my family see the truth and help us didn't count. So, God, if you hear me, I need your help, by tomorrow morning. Amen.