Into The Bin

When I first started trying to get pregnant, I started buying things on clearance. Two years later, I sold most of it once I realized I wasn't going to get pregnant on my own anytime soon. I kept a few things in a bin, though. I haven't really allowed myself to buy anything since then. Although I do tend to go window shopping to day dream about the future sometimes.

A few weeks ago I saw a cute little pink doll with brown hair. I pictured our daughter drooling on it as a baby and toting it around as a toddler. But, I wouldn't let myself get it.




Until today, that is. She was on clearance for $3. I couldn't help myself. I picked her off the shelf and handed her to A. "This is for ..." I said. A's eyes got wide, her lips made a smile, "It looks just like her. She'll love it!" she said. I smiled and told her I hoped so.

Our future daughter's dolly is in the bin tonight, along with my hopes and dreams to be a Mom and the other cherished items I hope to one day use.

Show & Tell: Laundry Soap

I've been saying for a few years now that I really wanted to try to make my own laundry soap, but between living on my own and living with NYEBoy we only did maybe 3-5 loads of laundry a week. It just seemed easier not to bother with having to find a recipe, purchase the ingredients, and create the detergent, but then the girls moved in with us. Besides an increase in our utility bill and food bill, which we expected, we noticed an increase in toilet paper and laundry detergent usage, which we weren't expecting. The container of laundry detergent that once lasted us several months, barely made it a week or two. The 12 rolls of toilet paper that use to last us several months, now was vanishing in just over a week, too.

After doing a lot of googling and testing, I've decided it's best to make the powdered laundry soap. We tried the liquid concoction, but because we have hard water, I got tired of trying to google for the hard water cure to get the soap to gel up. Instead, I've found it best to break out the food processor to make the dry batch.

First, I grate a bar of soap into the food processor using one of the disc. Then, I remove the grated soap so that I can add the regular blade. I add the grated soap back in plus 1/2 cup of Borax and 1/2 Arm & Hammer washing soda. I pulsate this until it's combined and fine. Usually about 15 seconds or so. And that's it. I store this into leftover containers (Butter, yogurt, cotton candy, whatever plastic tupperware type container w/ lid you can find.) I use 1 tablespoon per load or 2 if it's a really dirty load or the bath towels.

You can purchase the Borax and Washing Soda in the laundry aisle. It was hard to find the Washing Soda at first, but I did finally locate it at Publix. I use whatever bars of soap we have since I have a stockpile of about 50 bars of soap.

There won't be suds, so don't panic. Suds don't clean, but that's what the ingredients do together. If you want the liquid version, google it. If you don't have a food processor you can use a regular cheese grater and combine until it's mixed well. I just prefer to do it the easiest way. I make several batches at a time.

Now, if only I could figure out how to make my own toilet paper... Or maybe I should ration K's ass like she was in prison. Five squares a day, beyotch! Heh.

The Crazy Shit She Says*: Music

Our XM radio has been on the fritz since the car shit happened a few weeks ago. We've been forced to listen to local radio stations since then. They actually have country down here. Growing up, that's all we listened to. I could probably sing you every country song that came out during the early to mid 90's.

Shortly after dropping the crew off to school the other morning, the station went from music to commercials. I pressed the button to find another station playing music when someone from the back pipped up.

(Mu-sick-ed is how A says music. Say it really fast. It's supposed to be hard to say and sound something like 'you a sick kid" when you slow it down, but it sounds like you're tripping over syllables when she says it fast.)

A: Hey, turn that back to duh crunchy mu-sick-ed?
Me: Huh? Do what?
A: TURN IT BACK TO DUH CRUNCHY MU-SICK-ED!
Me: The CRUNCHY music?
A: YES! I like duh crunchy mu-sick-ed.
Me: Do you mean the country music?
A: Yes. I said to you I like duh crunchy mu-sick-ed.

_____________________________________________________
*I've decided to rename this on-going series of posts "The Crazy Shit She Says" because it drives my family crazy that I curse and if they ever find my blog, I want them saying "OMG! SHE SAYS SHIT! ON HER BLOG! IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!" Yes Mom, some people don't think fuck, shit, and damn are that big of a deal. See?

Insane? No, Not Us

Remember this? Well, she left her husband and moved to Ut.ah with her kids and my brother in tow about a year ago. If my math is right, about a month later, my brother moved back home, only to turn around and move back to her place shortly after. I swore he wouldn't make it the first winter. No way, not in Ut.ah. We may be from TenISee, but the winters aren't nearly that cold. But, he did.

My brother called me a few weeks ago to tell me him and G had been having trouble and he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to leave her and move out here. G has too much baggage. She's technically still married. She has two young kids. She spends all of my brother's money. She leaves her kids with my brother so that she can go get drunk with her sister at bars/clubs. She's no good for him.

He recently lost his job. He's sleeping on the couch because they are separated, but he doesn't know anyone over there so he's stuck. I told him a few weeks ago he should move out here. He said he would think about it. He called me over the weekend to ask me if we were serious about him coming to live here. I told him to get in the car and come on down. He said he was seriously thinking about it. He told me he had just spent four days in room, getting drunk, and he hadn't showered that long either. I told him it was time to make a change. He agreed.

He'll be selling one of his cars (it's a POS, but worth a few hundred bucks) and getting his things together this week. Sometime towards the end of the week, he will start driving from Ut.ah to TN. He'll stay there a few days to visit our family and then he will move down here. Once he gets down here he will start looking for a job. We've also been discussing getting him into school as well. Unlike my sister, my brother is capable of working and going to school. He won't need hand-in-hand instructions about life. He'll probably even get his own place next summer or fall once he's situated.

And by the way, my brother moving here means my office is going to have to be moved into the bedroom since we only have three bedrooms. Luckily, our master bedroom is big enough for most of the things I have. Now, we just need to find a twin or full size bed for my brother and we'll be officially ready. I have to say, I'm actually looking forward to being with my brother again. We get along pretty good, much better than my sister and I for sure. K and A are excited, too. NYEBoy is just nervous about my stress level. He does want my brother to get his life on track though.

So, are we insane? Nah, we're fucking crazy. I told NYEBoy, look on the bright side, I'll have even more to blog about, even if I have less time to blog. Ha. On another bright side, my brother has plenty of practice babysitting! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT MEANS? A-B-R-E-A-K! *gasp*

-----

Congratulations to WannabeMommy for winning the Zip-Its! E-mail me your mailing address and I'll get this out before A starts college.

Happy Birthday NYEBoy!

Today is NYEBoy's birthday. We're getting ready to go spend some alone time together. No, that doesn't mean sex. I don't want to get arrested for public indecency. Or maybe I do. We're going to go to dinner, movies, and maybe coffee. We've got a lot to talk about. Our live has definitely changed a lot since his last birthday.

NYEBoy, I promised last year that this birthday would be better. Little did I know, our life changed in a big way. Unfortunately, that meant I wasn't able to live up to the birthday promise like I wanted to, but I know the only thing you care about being together any way. Next year, I hope, things will be a little bit more stable around these parts and I can get things taken care of like I want to.

I love you more and more day after day, week after week, month after month, and birthday after birthday.

Thanks for putting up with all of us.

I really wish I could post the picture I gave him of us. It's so pretty. Even my sister wanted a copy of it. But, it's totally on the list of "not-allowed-to-blog-about things".

Show & Tell: Zip-Its

Have you ever seen Zip-Its? They are *the* coolest bags ever. The package is a zipper rolled up, once you start zipping it up, a bag appears. They have purses, cosmetic bags, toddler backpacks, cell phone bags, and other nifty creations.



This is one of those "why didn't I think of it" items. They are totally cute and funky. I got K and I one, in pink, of course.

***Giveaway!!!***
Want your own Zip-It pouch? I have one to giveaway. Simply leave a comment for a chance to win. If you want a second chance at winning, Tweet the giveaway and let me know you've done so.

Comments for the drawing close on Sunday at midnight EST. Winner will be announce Monday. The winner will have 3 days to email me their mailing address or I will pick another winner.



Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.

The Crazy Thing She Says: Fries

A and I stopped by McDonald's one day last week while we were waiting on K to get out of class. We decided to share a chicken nugget combo because she never finishes her kids meals and I'm tired of wasting the money on them. This was a conversation we had.

A: Can I hab some more fries?

Me: Yeah. (hands her the box)

A: Here you go. I sabed you one.



This is what she handed me back.



Um, thanks?

Show & Tell: Favorite Childhood Toy

Now that A is growing up and playing with toys that are more than just a teether or rattle toy, the time we spend playing together makes me flashback to my childhood. Thanks to eBay, I am able to search for those toys of yesteryear. Most of my favorite toys are vintage fisher price toys. They include the cash register, the cupcake set, and of course, my all time favorite toy, the wedding cake set. We don't have the extra $$ to spend right now, but I would love to try to get some of our childhood toys for A and for our future children.

Can I just say how much is sucks to search for VINTAGE TOYS when you're only 25? Ahh, fucking life.

What are your favorite childhood toys? Do you still have any? Do you plan on trying to get any to share the memories with your children?


Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.

Too Much Steak

Our car has been having issues lately. After spending $250 on a new battery two weeks ago, our car broke down last week. There's a long story about the $250 and about the car breaking down, but I just don't have the energy to not type a novel about it. Maybe I'll blog about it later this week. Perhaps when it's not 2 am.

Really big thanks to @kristencmcd for helping me take NYEBoy and K to school and for buying me pizza, coke, and breadsticks because she could feel my desperation because she wanted to. Let's just say I cried while eating my lunch because I have been so stressed out about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and someone actually thought about ME for a change. WHO DOES THAT SHIT? Oh, right. Friends. Thank you again Kristen! Love you!

When the car broke down last week, my dad called my sister in the middle of the exhausting stress-fest. He basically told my sister that it was NYEBoy and I's fault for the car breaking down. If we didn't go out to eat all of the time we would have money to get a better car.

Now, while you try to digest that for a moment, let me go back to 10 years ago. Ten years ago, at the age of 15, I began working. With the exception of this past year, I have worked every single fucking year since I was 15. Day in and day out. I worked my ass off. My sister and brother didn't even get a job until 2 or 3 years ago and our age differences are only four years total. Since I began working, I have helped my mother with bills on numerous occasions. I can't recall really needing to borrow money from my parents since I began working because I was usually the one bailing someone else out. Unless, of course, my sister stole my money from me the day I got paid, because she could and she knew mom would never do anything about it.

A year ago, I quit my job to work from home while NYEBoy attends graduate school. NYEBoy was doing his thing, and I was doing mine. I didn't need my parents help. NYEBoy's dad paid for our condo for the year because he has always taken care of his children's housing. Everything was going great. I still never asked, nor had the need to ask, my parents for money. However, about three months ago, our live changed dramatically. Before we found out about the girls, NYEBoy's dad called us to tell us he would not be paying the rent for the upcoming year. He was supposed to buy us a house, but had told us he wasn't going to be able to make it back to the country before our lease was up, so we were just going to stay where we were for six months to a year. However, he's in his sixties and married some chic in another country so he's gone all weird on us. No big deal though, NYEBoy can afford our bills. We'll just be eating at home a bit more often.

Once it was established that the girls were indeed moving in with us, my parents offered to help us with their extra expenses. The food, the utilities, the extra gas to take and pick up K from school every day, the cell phone, etc, etc. it all adds up so quickly on our newly tight budget. It wasn't long after the girls got here though, that we realized my dad was being an ass about helping out. My Mom doesn't make much, but she wasn't helping with what she could. Her sister lost her job so she's been helping her, too. I didn't/don't expect much more help from her, but my dad I did/do. He wants a receipt for everything we buy.

When A had to get her $175 prescription filled, I called FIVE pharmacies to find the cheapest price, all the while having swine flu myself. He still refused to help pay for it. NYEBoy had enough of my dad's bullshit and went off on him. He told him it was time for him to step up to his responsibilities. If his grandchild needed the medication that a doctor prescribed, don't give us bullshit about the price and other ways to save, even though we asked about that with each pharmacy. Luckily, the pharmacy we went with, only had enough for one days worth of medication because we didn't have to pay until the next day when the order came in. My mother helped us pay for it.

I haven't been able to work since the girls moved in. In part because my house is a mess and I can't find the time to get organized, but also because I am busy running people around, cooking and feeding, cleaning and helping K study for school to have any extra time to work, much less blog.

Money is tight and it sucks. It sucks because I'm struggling to find a balance so that I can help out with the family finances. It sucks because even though I contemplate getting a night job even though I already don't get enough sleep, the pay wouldn't be worth the sacrifice. NYEBoy is upset because he doesn't think I should work because I didn't before the girls got here and we were doing just fine. Thugboy hasn't sent us a dime to help pay for his child. We still have another three months before we can even file for child support and sole custody. NYEBoy wants my father to step up and help, like he agreed to and is capable of doing without the added bullshit games he plays. I'm made because NYEBoy works his ass off, 60 hours a week working, not even including his schooling, to help the family, yet we get the bullshit from my dad if we eat something other than spam and h2o. I'm made because I want a hair cut and pedicure, but I can't get it because there are more important things we have to deal with right now, even if my feet are ugly as hell and my hair is almost to my ass. I'm made because I own less than 10 pieces of clothing, yet we are "wasting" our money on "things other than the girls". We have other bills, other than the girls, that have to get paid too. Our output bill-wise is very high, but we shouldn't have to explain every bill NYEBoy has to my father for him to see, we're doing the best we can.

It'll all be worth it in the end, though. I hope. All of the struggles. All of the arguments. All of it will be worth it. We'll be better off in a year or two, but fuck it sucks right now.

I guess I should mention that my father has never paid child support for us. It's not like he's raised us 20+ years and doesn't have the money, he does. He's just an asshole sometimes. This was the first year since A was born that I did not call him on his birthday (Saturday) because I am so hurt by his words. He's never been a great father, but fuck I've made an effort since A was born to try to mend a relationship strained from child abuse. It hasn't been easy, but this really made me put the breaks on our relationship.

Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend

A loves money, especially coins. She loves finding a penny on the ground or a quarter in the house to add to her piggy bank.

This was a conversation between her and I the other day.

A: Can I hab dis penny?
Me: What did you say?
A: Can I hab dis penny for my piggy bank? I wanna buy sum rings.
Me: That's not a penny, but you can have it if you can tell me what it is.
A: Can I hab dis diamond?
Me: Can you have what?
A: Can I hab dis diamond? I yike diamonds. I can buy a ring with this diamond.
Me: Do you mean dime?
A: Yes, diamond. Can I hab dis diamond?

Silly girl.

Show & Tell: Rocky

A has started to collect rocks over the past few months. As I have mentioned before, I used to collect rocks, but mine were for sale. A on the other hand, loves collecting rocks just for the fun of it. What is so fun about collecting rocks, you ask?

Well, first of all there is the thrill of the hunt, or maybe the steal. There isn't a landscape around that is safe from her paws. She must take a rock no matter where we are. Outback Steakhouse, Chill's, you're grandmother's yard, wherever. No where is safe, not even the garden of Good and Evil. You never know what kind of rock you will find either. There are big rocks, little rocks, boulders, white rocks, dirty rocks, and even faux lava rocks, too.

Then, if you're feeling a bit creative, you can color your rocks. Crayons and sharpies work best, please. After you have colored your rock, or left it plain, you get to name it. Naming them is fun. Stoney Boney-O, Rocky The Pet Rock, Ugly rock, whatever you prefer.

This is Rocky, The Pet Rock. Rocky, this is my blog.



The best part about collecting rocks is leaving them on the floor and having the adults step on them. But be careful, it's a good way to get yelled at or put into time out.

Did you ever collect anything as a child? A has one other collection, but that's for another day.

Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.

Family Updates

It looks like we all survived the H1N1. The girls fared much better than I did, which was to be expected. I never just get a simple cold, take medication, and get well soon. Although last weekend and early last week was pretty rough, I felt my body turing around towards the end of the week. On another note, A's other issue seems to be improving thanks in part to the expensive ass medication she is taking twice a day.

My Aunt K had her surgery yesterday morning. Although they were hoping to do it laparoscopically, they realized pretty early on during the six hour surgery that they couldn't do it that way. They did have to remove her entire rec.tum, but they were thankfully able to connect her col.on to her an.us. Thus, avoiding the need for a bag! She's in quite a bit of pain, which is to be expected, but it appears to have been a successful surgery otherwise. Mom said she will probably need che.mo again, though.

Thanks for keeping my family in your prayers. Please continue to send well wishes to my Aunt as she goes through recovery and whatever else the doctors determine she needs to completely win this battle.