I'm trying not to think about the what-ifs and only focusing on a successful surgery and recovery. I'll keep you updated on her progress as well. Thank you very much!
Wednesday, September 30
Show & Tell: My Aunt K
For Show & Tell this week I am asking you all to take time from your week to send my aunt a prayer or well wish. As I have mentioned here and here, my aunt was diagnosed with stage 3 rec.tal can.cer a few months ago. She's spent the past few months getting second, third, and forth opinions, deciding on a plan, and starting che.mo and radi.ation. My aunt leaves today (Wednesday) to go to Hou.ston to undergo surgery. She will be in Hou.ston for the most of October.
I'm trying not to think about the what-ifs and only focusing on a successful surgery and recovery. I'll keep you updated on her progress as well. Thank you very much!
I'm trying not to think about the what-ifs and only focusing on a successful surgery and recovery. I'll keep you updated on her progress as well. Thank you very much!
Monday, September 28
Change of Plans
I was supposed to spend the weekend getting my childrens clothing and toys listed for a consignment sale, but then that whole Swine Flu thing got in the way. The girls seem to be doing okay. Me, on the other hand, not so much. My fever is back. In fact, I can feel it rising as I am typing this. I'm debating on going back to the dreaded health department to see if they are willing to give me a script for the Tamiflu. They told me I wasn't high risk enough last week.
Let's pretend for a second that when I had pneumonia 2 years ago, that it didn't take 3 months to get rid of. Or, let's pretend I didn't get sick at least six times a year while working at the doctor's office. Nope, not high risk. AT ALL! I'm tired. My chest aches. My head throbs. My nose burns. And, I want my mommy.
I guess instead of trying to get some work done this week, I'll be trying not to die. I kid, I kid. Sort of.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go suck on another popsicle to try to keep this fever from rising.
Let's pretend for a second that when I had pneumonia 2 years ago, that it didn't take 3 months to get rid of. Or, let's pretend I didn't get sick at least six times a year while working at the doctor's office. Nope, not high risk. AT ALL! I'm tired. My chest aches. My head throbs. My nose burns. And, I want my mommy.
I guess instead of trying to get some work done this week, I'll be trying not to die. I kid, I kid. Sort of.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go suck on another popsicle to try to keep this fever from rising.
Friday, September 25
Racial Discrimination
I'm from Mem.phis, TN. The death place of Dr. King. It's still to this day, one of the most racially divided cities in America. Although I have been discriminated against before, I haven't really experienced anything crazy since moving to Talla.hassee. Until today, that is.
On Monday, I called the local health department trying to get an appointment for A to have something checked out. As Monday was coming to an end and no one had returned my call, I decided to call them again before they closed. The lady told me to leave another message and to expect a phone call as soon as they could get to it, because in her words, "we're pretty busy around here". Whatev. Tuesday, the same thing happened. Wednesday. Lather, rinse, repeat. Wednesday night, I spent two hours with Dr. Google, explaining her symptoms and looking for answers. Then, it hit me. The Answer.
I cried, for 30 minutes after seeing the answer. I felt like a Mommy* failure. #Fail. No, the results aren't life threatening. No, I didn't cause her to get this. No, it's not technically my fault, but it is. It's my fault for waiting so long to get help. It's my fault for not finding enough time in my day to be even more proactive about her birth certificate and social security card to turn into the state for insurance for her. Yes, I realize I am not her mother. Yes, I realize only the parents can get those pieces of information. Yes, I know I did what I could, but I could have done more. In my prior search for an answer to her ailment, I found a home remedy to try. Instead of making it better, I was actually making it worse. No, I didn't know any better. Yes, I was doing the best I could with the lack of knowledge.
After going to bed and crying into NYEBoy's arms until 3:30 this morning, I decided whatever it took, I was going to get her seen today. I called my father to tell him I would need him to put some money into my bank account to take her, but he wouldn't. He wanted the exact amount of the visit and prescription. And a receipt. With the answer in my head from Dr. Google, I called several pharmacies to get a BALL PARK estimate of what we were looking at. No one, and I mean no one, was helpful. It was about as frustrating as trying to get an appointment at the health department.
I called the health department after dropping The Crew off at school this morning. The same unhelpful bitch answered the phone. I told her I had to get my niece seen TO-DAY for The Answer. I reminded her I had called every single day, multiply times, this week to get an appointment. I asked if I could walk in to get seen? She said, and I quote, "Of course you can! Just come on in between ..." Of course I can? Really? You made me leave message after message for OF COURSE YOU CAN COME ON IN? *head explodes* Clean up on aisle 2.
After arriving at the health department twenty minutes early, I walked in, hopeful we would have The Answer confirmed. The guy asked me if I was a walk-in and I told him we were. He told me to have a seat, they would open in twenty minutes. I asked him if I could fill out paperwork since she was a new patient and I got a firm NO! Have a seat. We will call you when we are ready.
While we were waiting, several new patient walk-ins were handed paperwork to fill out, even though we were just told we had to wait. After waiting twenty minutes, they opened a line for walk-ins. This wasn't a first come, first serve type of deal. It was a fastest person in line, kind of thing. Once we made it through the line, a lady gave us a half a sheet of paper to fill out. I told her we were new patients and asked for paperwork. She told me to finish that first, then she would give it to me. So, I did. As soon as I handed that to her, she handed me the paperwork. After filling out six sheets of paper, I hand it back in to her. She asks if K works, I tell her no, because she was a student. She told me she wanted proof. Not only that, but she wanted to see a form showing what type of financial aid she received. Because, in her words, this was her income. Wow-ee! Hold up the train. K got $2500 in aid for $3600 in classes. Silly us, we should have used it for fun shit, not TUITION!
Luckily, the form was in her backpack which was in the car. When K returned, we stood there while the lady helped THREE other people before taking the form. Even though, two of them came in AFTER K got back from getting the form and the other the bitch CALLED while were standing there. I was fuming. Finally, she said we would be called back in a bit.
We were called back, eventually. We had already been there an hour and a half. The lady asked us what we were there for us, checked the issue, said it looked like what I had been doing was working, and to come back in two weeks FOR AN APPOINTMENT! I was stunned. Utterly stunned. Do what? No. Dr. Google told me she needed ORAL medication to treat this ailment, in addition to what I was already doing. I asked her to talk to the doctor about it. She came back a few minutes later to tell us the doctor "said" that she didn't need the oral medication BECAUSE SHE HAS XRAY VISION EYES AND SHE SAW THROUGH THE WALL. She just needed to come back for an APPOINTMENT.
I explained to the lady, I had been calling since Monday to get an appointment and this was unacceptable. I will not wait two more weeks to watch this child continue to get worse. I asked to speak to an office manager, but they don't have office managers and the supervisors were in an important meeting. She gave me their number. Before I walked out, I asked the lady to at least check her temperature because she was hot. A few second later, 103 popped on the screen. "Oh, I guess she's staying after all", the bitch exclaimed. She told me she thought she had felt hot when she was looking at the other issue, but didn't want to alarm me. WTF?
You know what's coming next, don't you? You don't? Oh, honey. A flu test. Not just a test, but a test this kid passed with flying colors. A mask was put on her and we were immediately escorted to another room. K has been sick, but we thought it wasn't anything bad. So, she got tested. Ding, ding, we have a winner. I had noticed I was feeling like shit, so I was given one too. Awe hell, a family that runs together, swines together. That's right folks. K, A, and I have SWINE mutha-fucking FLU! WOOT WOOT!
To add a cherry on top, not only did A have swine flu, but The Answer was confirmed. I was right, she did need oral medication. In fact, a month's worth. Twice a day to boot.
K told me after the tests were ran that two of the three of her teachers had swine flu and were out this week, along with about half the people in those classes. Grrrrr-EIGHT!
The irony in all of this is that I bought vitamin D milk the other day after hearing someone on the news tell us to load up on vitamin D to prevent getting the flu. Which was said right before "Half of the people watching this show will get the swine flu." Thanks for jinxing me, motherfucker.
Oh, for the record, I am calling the supervisor tomorrow. The only person in that office that was competent was the damn doctor. I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to see a physician. Since when is an MA certified enough to determine who is sick enough to be seen? I wanted to kiss her on the way out, with tongue, but I refrained. Maybe I'll go back tomorrow. It'll be all Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley in the health department.
Want funny looks in the store? Walk around with this thing in the cart while talking on your cell phone and saying YES, WE HAVE SWINE FLU to your relatives as you pick up juice and Sprite at Publix.
I told you to never leave home without your custom mask.
On Monday, I called the local health department trying to get an appointment for A to have something checked out. As Monday was coming to an end and no one had returned my call, I decided to call them again before they closed. The lady told me to leave another message and to expect a phone call as soon as they could get to it, because in her words, "we're pretty busy around here". Whatev. Tuesday, the same thing happened. Wednesday. Lather, rinse, repeat. Wednesday night, I spent two hours with Dr. Google, explaining her symptoms and looking for answers. Then, it hit me. The Answer.
I cried, for 30 minutes after seeing the answer. I felt like a Mommy* failure. #Fail. No, the results aren't life threatening. No, I didn't cause her to get this. No, it's not technically my fault, but it is. It's my fault for waiting so long to get help. It's my fault for not finding enough time in my day to be even more proactive about her birth certificate and social security card to turn into the state for insurance for her. Yes, I realize I am not her mother. Yes, I realize only the parents can get those pieces of information. Yes, I know I did what I could, but I could have done more. In my prior search for an answer to her ailment, I found a home remedy to try. Instead of making it better, I was actually making it worse. No, I didn't know any better. Yes, I was doing the best I could with the lack of knowledge.
After going to bed and crying into NYEBoy's arms until 3:30 this morning, I decided whatever it took, I was going to get her seen today. I called my father to tell him I would need him to put some money into my bank account to take her, but he wouldn't. He wanted the exact amount of the visit and prescription. And a receipt. With the answer in my head from Dr. Google, I called several pharmacies to get a BALL PARK estimate of what we were looking at. No one, and I mean no one, was helpful. It was about as frustrating as trying to get an appointment at the health department.
I called the health department after dropping The Crew off at school this morning. The same unhelpful bitch answered the phone. I told her I had to get my niece seen TO-DAY for The Answer. I reminded her I had called every single day, multiply times, this week to get an appointment. I asked if I could walk in to get seen? She said, and I quote, "Of course you can! Just come on in between ..." Of course I can? Really? You made me leave message after message for OF COURSE YOU CAN COME ON IN? *head explodes* Clean up on aisle 2.
After arriving at the health department twenty minutes early, I walked in, hopeful we would have The Answer confirmed. The guy asked me if I was a walk-in and I told him we were. He told me to have a seat, they would open in twenty minutes. I asked him if I could fill out paperwork since she was a new patient and I got a firm NO! Have a seat. We will call you when we are ready.
While we were waiting, several new patient walk-ins were handed paperwork to fill out, even though we were just told we had to wait. After waiting twenty minutes, they opened a line for walk-ins. This wasn't a first come, first serve type of deal. It was a fastest person in line, kind of thing. Once we made it through the line, a lady gave us a half a sheet of paper to fill out. I told her we were new patients and asked for paperwork. She told me to finish that first, then she would give it to me. So, I did. As soon as I handed that to her, she handed me the paperwork. After filling out six sheets of paper, I hand it back in to her. She asks if K works, I tell her no, because she was a student. She told me she wanted proof. Not only that, but she wanted to see a form showing what type of financial aid she received. Because, in her words, this was her income. Wow-ee! Hold up the train. K got $2500 in aid for $3600 in classes. Silly us, we should have used it for fun shit, not TUITION!
Luckily, the form was in her backpack which was in the car. When K returned, we stood there while the lady helped THREE other people before taking the form. Even though, two of them came in AFTER K got back from getting the form and the other the bitch CALLED while were standing there. I was fuming. Finally, she said we would be called back in a bit.
We were called back, eventually. We had already been there an hour and a half. The lady asked us what we were there for us, checked the issue, said it looked like what I had been doing was working, and to come back in two weeks FOR AN APPOINTMENT! I was stunned. Utterly stunned. Do what? No. Dr. Google told me she needed ORAL medication to treat this ailment, in addition to what I was already doing. I asked her to talk to the doctor about it. She came back a few minutes later to tell us the doctor "said" that she didn't need the oral medication BECAUSE SHE HAS XRAY VISION EYES AND SHE SAW THROUGH THE WALL. She just needed to come back for an APPOINTMENT.
I explained to the lady, I had been calling since Monday to get an appointment and this was unacceptable. I will not wait two more weeks to watch this child continue to get worse. I asked to speak to an office manager, but they don't have office managers and the supervisors were in an important meeting. She gave me their number. Before I walked out, I asked the lady to at least check her temperature because she was hot. A few second later, 103 popped on the screen. "Oh, I guess she's staying after all", the bitch exclaimed. She told me she thought she had felt hot when she was looking at the other issue, but didn't want to alarm me. WTF?
You know what's coming next, don't you? You don't? Oh, honey. A flu test. Not just a test, but a test this kid passed with flying colors. A mask was put on her and we were immediately escorted to another room. K has been sick, but we thought it wasn't anything bad. So, she got tested. Ding, ding, we have a winner. I had noticed I was feeling like shit, so I was given one too. Awe hell, a family that runs together, swines together. That's right folks. K, A, and I have SWINE mutha-fucking FLU! WOOT WOOT!
To add a cherry on top, not only did A have swine flu, but The Answer was confirmed. I was right, she did need oral medication. In fact, a month's worth. Twice a day to boot.
K told me after the tests were ran that two of the three of her teachers had swine flu and were out this week, along with about half the people in those classes. Grrrrr-EIGHT!
The irony in all of this is that I bought vitamin D milk the other day after hearing someone on the news tell us to load up on vitamin D to prevent getting the flu. Which was said right before "Half of the people watching this show will get the swine flu." Thanks for jinxing me, motherfucker.
Oh, for the record, I am calling the supervisor tomorrow. The only person in that office that was competent was the damn doctor. I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to see a physician. Since when is an MA certified enough to determine who is sick enough to be seen? I wanted to kiss her on the way out, with tongue, but I refrained. Maybe I'll go back tomorrow. It'll be all Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley in the health department.
Want funny looks in the store? Walk around with this thing in the cart while talking on your cell phone and saying YES, WE HAVE SWINE FLU to your relatives as you pick up juice and Sprite at Publix.
I told you to never leave home without your custom mask.
Wednesday, September 23
Show & Tell Meets Wordless Wednesday
For Show & Tell this week, I am sharing something that would leave any infertile wordless, Wednesday or not.
Really? Nothing says "Happy Halloween" like a pregnant witch showing her beloved pumpkin belly.
Give me a fucking break.
Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.
Really? Nothing says "Happy Halloween" like a pregnant witch showing her beloved pumpkin belly.
Give me a fucking break.
Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.
Tuesday, September 22
If You Resist, It Will Persist
The honeymoon period has been over for awhile now. A few weeks ago, we had a falling out. The conversation ended with NYEBoy and I walking out of the house, slamming the door, and driving away without a word. While we were gone, we picked up a pizza, parked our car, and talked. We couldn't believe how much we had given to someone who was so completely ungrateful. We wondered if we had made the right decision by bringing them back. We wondered if the stress to our relationship was even worth it.
After we talked, we decided to call my parents. We called my dad first, then my mom. Although my dad wasn't much help, they both agreed we needed to sit down, as a family, to talk about things. When I returned home, I couldn't bring myself to sit down with K to talk to her without bringing my emotions into it. So, I didn't talk. We didn't talk. Slowly, we started talking to each other again and things were back to the way they were. But, they really weren't. The issues were still there, just being ignored.
The tension between us grew bit by bit. She stopped doing any cleaning. She would call Thugboy for help with her homework. If he couldn't help her, she would ask us, but give us a ton of attitude. If she couldn't understand something quick, which for the most part, she can't, she says she wants to give up and go back to working at Walmart. Because, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO USES MATH OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL?
I've been saying for a few weeks now that I am going to talk to her. We're all adults here. Surely we can talk without screaming, slamming door, and driving away. I finally decided to talk to her. I went into her room, told her to make a list of things that bothered her about the house, us, life, whatever, and I would be back in a bit with my list, so that we could talk.
She told me she didn't have any complaints. She was just concerned about passing school. I, on the other hand, had a list of things that were bothering me/us. We went through the list together, her and I. Things were ironed out and I think we are both on the same page again, which is relieving. I'm sure we'll have more disagreements, perhaps even tomorrow, but it's nice to have this off of my chest and out of my mind.
I just need to remember, if you resist, it will persist.
After we talked, we decided to call my parents. We called my dad first, then my mom. Although my dad wasn't much help, they both agreed we needed to sit down, as a family, to talk about things. When I returned home, I couldn't bring myself to sit down with K to talk to her without bringing my emotions into it. So, I didn't talk. We didn't talk. Slowly, we started talking to each other again and things were back to the way they were. But, they really weren't. The issues were still there, just being ignored.
The tension between us grew bit by bit. She stopped doing any cleaning. She would call Thugboy for help with her homework. If he couldn't help her, she would ask us, but give us a ton of attitude. If she couldn't understand something quick, which for the most part, she can't, she says she wants to give up and go back to working at Walmart. Because, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO USES MATH OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL?
I've been saying for a few weeks now that I am going to talk to her. We're all adults here. Surely we can talk without screaming, slamming door, and driving away. I finally decided to talk to her. I went into her room, told her to make a list of things that bothered her about the house, us, life, whatever, and I would be back in a bit with my list, so that we could talk.
She told me she didn't have any complaints. She was just concerned about passing school. I, on the other hand, had a list of things that were bothering me/us. We went through the list together, her and I. Things were ironed out and I think we are both on the same page again, which is relieving. I'm sure we'll have more disagreements, perhaps even tomorrow, but it's nice to have this off of my chest and out of my mind.
I just need to remember, if you resist, it will persist.
Monday, September 21
New Normal
For those of you joining me via ICLW, welcome to my blog. I am a 25 year old infertile who has been trying to get pregnant for over 5 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS and I may also have a chromosome imbalance that I will be getting genetically tested for over the next year. Last year, I moved to Talla.hassee with my SO, NYEBoy, as he attends grad school. This past summer, my younger sister, K, and her three year old daughter, A, moved in with us. I work from home and try to keep our family together. It hasn't been an easy ride, but I know success will be worth it.
A month ago, I opened up ALI Gab, a free chat site specifically designed for the adoption, infertility, and loss community. Feel free to add the badge to your blog and join the site.
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We're still trying to adjust to our new life, our new normal, with K and A living with us. It hasn't been an easy ride to say the least. We've had plenty of doubts as to if we've made the right decision. We always arrive back to one conclusion, it's in the best interest of A. The house is a complete wreck because I don't have time to clean like I should. I spend anywhere from two to four hours a day in the car. I usually cook dinner after The Crew* is home for the day. After that, we're usually stuck in the books with K for a few hours, only breaking to give A a bath and to put her into bed. Most nights I turn around and it's well after midnight, dishes are still dirty from dinner, laundry is still on the couch, toys are spread across the living room floor, trash is piled up, a blog post hasn't been completed, I'm exhausted, and I realize I can't remember when the last time I took a shower.
I have over 50 bins of inventory to sell, but haven't been able to list anything new since the girls moved in with us. There is a local consignment sale next week that I've decided to enter all of my children's clothing and toys into. I'm hoping to clear some of the clutter and focus on the remaining inventory as I have time.
I'm exhausted and I still can't remember the last time I took a shower. Hopefully, I'll get used to my new life soon.
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The winner to the pogo giveaway is Kristin. Congratulations! Send me an email and I'll semd your pass right on over to you.
*The Crew is my new nickname for NYEBoy and K. I always say I'm dropping "the kids" off at school, but they aren't really kids. So, The Crew it is.
A month ago, I opened up ALI Gab, a free chat site specifically designed for the adoption, infertility, and loss community. Feel free to add the badge to your blog and join the site.
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We're still trying to adjust to our new life, our new normal, with K and A living with us. It hasn't been an easy ride to say the least. We've had plenty of doubts as to if we've made the right decision. We always arrive back to one conclusion, it's in the best interest of A. The house is a complete wreck because I don't have time to clean like I should. I spend anywhere from two to four hours a day in the car. I usually cook dinner after The Crew* is home for the day. After that, we're usually stuck in the books with K for a few hours, only breaking to give A a bath and to put her into bed. Most nights I turn around and it's well after midnight, dishes are still dirty from dinner, laundry is still on the couch, toys are spread across the living room floor, trash is piled up, a blog post hasn't been completed, I'm exhausted, and I realize I can't remember when the last time I took a shower.
I have over 50 bins of inventory to sell, but haven't been able to list anything new since the girls moved in with us. There is a local consignment sale next week that I've decided to enter all of my children's clothing and toys into. I'm hoping to clear some of the clutter and focus on the remaining inventory as I have time.
I'm exhausted and I still can't remember the last time I took a shower. Hopefully, I'll get used to my new life soon.
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The winner to the pogo giveaway is Kristin. Congratulations! Send me an email and I'll semd your pass right on over to you.
*The Crew is my new nickname for NYEBoy and K. I always say I'm dropping "the kids" off at school, but they aren't really kids. So, The Crew it is.
Wednesday, September 16
Show & Tell: It's Game Time!
In August, Subway began their two month game of Scrabble. You collect the pieces on speciality marked 21 oz, 32 oz, and 44 oz drinks, spicy chipotle Sunchips, or bags of sliced apples. You can win anything from a cookie to $100,000. We've won about a dozen or so cookies, a few drinks, a bag of Sunchips, and 2-3 month pogo.com memberships.
I've been playing for about 10 days and I think it's safe to say I'm addicted now. During nap time, after the crew goes to sleep, in bed, on the toilet, wherever, whenever, however, I'm playing. I'm thinking about getting a yearly membership for my Grandma for Christmas. She loves playing computer games.
I have a free 5 day pogo.com pass I'm giving to a lucky reader. I can not and will not be held liable if your housework or spouse goes unattended during this time. Mine are currently eating cat food in the corner by candle light hoping I'll get away from the computer soon.
To win, just leave a comment telling me what your favorite subway sandwich and what your favorite game is. Comments close Sunday at 11:59 EST. Winner will be announced next Monday (the 21st).
Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.
I've been playing for about 10 days and I think it's safe to say I'm addicted now. During nap time, after the crew goes to sleep, in bed, on the toilet, wherever, whenever, however, I'm playing. I'm thinking about getting a yearly membership for my Grandma for Christmas. She loves playing computer games.
I have a free 5 day pogo.com pass I'm giving to a lucky reader. I can not and will not be held liable if your housework or spouse goes unattended during this time. Mine are currently eating cat food in the corner by candle light hoping I'll get away from the computer soon.
To win, just leave a comment telling me what your favorite subway sandwich and what your favorite game is. Comments close Sunday at 11:59 EST. Winner will be announced next Monday (the 21st).
Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.
Monday, September 14
If Only I Was Pregnant
My last cycle was at the end of January. Incase you haven't looked at a calendar lately, we are now in the middle of September. For the past 230 days, I've been wondering where my cycle was. I've never gone this long without a cycle. After all, my personal record is was only 117 days. We're almost four months beyond that date.
Every time I get ready to take a shower, I stand naked in front of the mirror examining my ever expanding belly. Perhaps I'll be one of those ladies on TLC's show who didn't know they were pregnant. I know, I know, that can't possibly be true, but maybe, just maybe it is. I'd examine the front and side profile. Yeah, I am getting bigger. And there are stretch marks. I glide one of my hands around my belly, almost as if I was making a wish. Oh, I wish I will, I wish I might... do you know what I would fucking do to be pregnant tonight? I would press my hand into my stomach, hoping I'd feel something hard and round. Maybe even something touch back.
It never happened, but I have gained a lot of weight. I did crave and eat a dill pickle and ice cream this summer, though. I couldn't bring myself to test over the past few months. I didn't want to jinx the possibility.
About a week or so ago, I had the most annoying cramps on the way to take the kids* to school. I thought my cycle was going to start. I prayed they wouldn't be bad since I had to take care of A by myself. Thankfully, they went away before I even got back home. A few days later, I had a few painful zits under the skin on my chin. While I was Google-ing for some home remedies, I came across a few forums where chics said they got them around the time of their cycle starting.
Much to my surprise, my cycle started back about two hours ago. I guess if I can't be pregnant, the next best thing will be to ovulate and have a cycle on my own. If only I was pregnant, I would be due in about 7 weeks. Instead, I'm searching for a pack of tampons because I haven't needed them in awhile.
Every time I get ready to take a shower, I stand naked in front of the mirror examining my ever expanding belly. Perhaps I'll be one of those ladies on TLC's show who didn't know they were pregnant. I know, I know, that can't possibly be true, but maybe, just maybe it is. I'd examine the front and side profile. Yeah, I am getting bigger. And there are stretch marks. I glide one of my hands around my belly, almost as if I was making a wish. Oh, I wish I will, I wish I might... do you know what I would fucking do to be pregnant tonight? I would press my hand into my stomach, hoping I'd feel something hard and round. Maybe even something touch back.
It never happened, but I have gained a lot of weight. I did crave and eat a dill pickle and ice cream this summer, though. I couldn't bring myself to test over the past few months. I didn't want to jinx the possibility.
About a week or so ago, I had the most annoying cramps on the way to take the kids* to school. I thought my cycle was going to start. I prayed they wouldn't be bad since I had to take care of A by myself. Thankfully, they went away before I even got back home. A few days later, I had a few painful zits under the skin on my chin. While I was Google-ing for some home remedies, I came across a few forums where chics said they got them around the time of their cycle starting.
Much to my surprise, my cycle started back about two hours ago. I guess if I can't be pregnant, the next best thing will be to ovulate and have a cycle on my own. If only I was pregnant, I would be due in about 7 weeks. Instead, I'm searching for a pack of tampons because I haven't needed them in awhile.
Sunday, September 6
I'm Still Here, Somewhere
Did you notice I completely sucked at blogging this week? It's not for a lack of wanting to blog, because I have several posts waiting to be published, but I've been a bit busy.
We've just wrapped up week two with NYEBoy and K back in school. NYEBoy just got his TA schedule Thursday, so I hope to have our new routine figured out soon. K is doing as good as can be expected in her classes right now, all A's. I'll blog more about that this week. It hasn't been easy.
I've spent the majority of the week dealing with the toothache from hell. I should have went to the dentist back in March when it got this bad, but after took the antibiotics the pain go away, so on the back burner it went again. The only downfall to not working or being married is not having any insurance for myself. Fortunately, the good thing about working at a doctors office before I left is that I still have connections. I was able to have them call me in some antibiotics. Thankfully, one of our grocery stores had this particular antibiotic for free. The pain has been horrible. When it first started, four Advil only lasted me about four hours. Since you're only allowed to take 4 Advil every 8 hours, I was stuck in bed with a heating pad on my jaw or in the shower crying under the hottest water I could get it to pour, on the left side of my face. Today is the first day I have been able to go eight hours without trying to find someone to blow my face off. I'm on day five of my antibiotics. Hopefully in a few days, I won't even need the Advil any more. I'm sure my liver isn't enjoying the 70+ Advil I've taken since the pain began.
Thursday I cried when Jeff was evicted. It may only be a reality show to some, but to us addicted-to-big-brother folks, it was a huge loss. Speaking of which, I will be hosting a season finale chat on ALIGab on September 15th.
Finally, I would like to announce Katie as the winner of my Blogoversary Book Giveaway. Congratulations! Email me your address.
Don't forget, just because you didn't win, doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up your copy of 5 Ways To {Blank} Your Blog, too. After all, it's only $10 including shipping and you're supporting a fucking awesome blogger.
We've just wrapped up week two with NYEBoy and K back in school. NYEBoy just got his TA schedule Thursday, so I hope to have our new routine figured out soon. K is doing as good as can be expected in her classes right now, all A's. I'll blog more about that this week. It hasn't been easy.
I've spent the majority of the week dealing with the toothache from hell. I should have went to the dentist back in March when it got this bad, but after took the antibiotics the pain go away, so on the back burner it went again. The only downfall to not working or being married is not having any insurance for myself. Fortunately, the good thing about working at a doctors office before I left is that I still have connections. I was able to have them call me in some antibiotics. Thankfully, one of our grocery stores had this particular antibiotic for free. The pain has been horrible. When it first started, four Advil only lasted me about four hours. Since you're only allowed to take 4 Advil every 8 hours, I was stuck in bed with a heating pad on my jaw or in the shower crying under the hottest water I could get it to pour, on the left side of my face. Today is the first day I have been able to go eight hours without trying to find someone to blow my face off. I'm on day five of my antibiotics. Hopefully in a few days, I won't even need the Advil any more. I'm sure my liver isn't enjoying the 70+ Advil I've taken since the pain began.
Thursday I cried when Jeff was evicted. It may only be a reality show to some, but to us addicted-to-big-brother folks, it was a huge loss. Speaking of which, I will be hosting a season finale chat on ALIGab on September 15th.
Finally, I would like to announce Katie as the winner of my Blogoversary Book Giveaway. Congratulations! Email me your address.
Don't forget, just because you didn't win, doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up your copy of 5 Ways To {Blank} Your Blog, too. After all, it's only $10 including shipping and you're supporting a fucking awesome blogger.
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