Not Feeling Well

I'm out for the count today. I have a migraine from hell. I have a family history with migraines and I am starting to freak out a bit because I am getting them fairly regularly now. I need to start documenting when I get them and when my cycle starts, I'm wondering if they are menstrual related. I haven't had my cycle in over 90 days now, maybe my body is about to have a cycle?

Tomorrow I will double up on my giveaway. I am feeling too crappy to be creative. I'm about to eat some soup and lay down again. I'll be back tomorrow.

Customizing

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few days, then you've heard about the recent outbreak of H1N1, previously known as Swine Flu. Face masks are flying off store shelves faster than babies out of Octomom va-jay-jay.

While I was Twittering about H1N1 invading Florida, GeekByMarriage tweeted me saying we were all going to die and we should just decorate our masks! Little does she know, I thought her idea was fantastic! No, not the dying part (we have already discussed my thoughts about that) but the part about decorating! Why didn't *I* think of that? Who wants to wear plain ole boring blue or white face masks? Not me!

I'd rather wear an American Flag!



...or maybe flowers...




...or maybe a little bling bling...




...or maybe I could advertise my blog!...



or better yet, a cupcake!



Wait a second, is that a cupcake with sprinkles and a candle or is that a penis and hairy balls?



Oh who am I kidding, who doesn't want a penis on their face?



It doesn't matter what design you choose, I'm sure I can do it for you! I did not go to three stores and spend three hours designing and painting these masks.



In honor of NIAW and my custom painted masks, I am giving away a custom beaded keychain watch. You pick the colors and I'll go to work!

You will have two chances to win.

1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Follow me on Twitter. Leave another comment comment you have added me. If you are already following me, just do the same.

This giveaway is open to anyone in the world. Comments must be left by 11:59 pm EST on Thursday 4/30. Winners will be announced on May 4th.

Don't forget, there is a giveaway every day through May 2nd. Although it's too late to win the first three prizes, you can still enter to win Tuesday's until tonight, Wednesday May 29th 11:59pm EST.

You Might Learn Something About Your Daughter!

I logged onto crackbook today after talking with K, so I could see her son. When I logged on, as I rarely do, I noticed a friend request. It was my mom's friend from work. My mom talks about her all the time. She likes to try to compare us. Before I moved, she tried to get us to meet thinking we would like each other and want to hang out. Life got in the way and that never happened.

I decided to accept her request. Honestly, I rarely log in, so there is nothing incriminating. I called my mom to tell her I added M. She said that M tried to convince her she should get on crackbook because maybe she could learn somethings about me she didn't know. I laughed. I told my mom she wouldn't find anything incriminating on my crackbook page, but she might if she ever found my blog.

My mom said M called her over to her computer to look at my pictures I had uploaded. I uploaded a few of A, a few of me, and a few from when K and I went out in summer of 07. I was teasing K about remembering the good ole days. Then, they came to this picture.



My mom wasn't shocked, but M got quiet. She said "Mmm. Hmmm. She actually, uh, looks, um, really cute like that. If I had that body, I would do that, too." My mom laughed.

By the way, this picture was taken completely sober, before we went out. Sweet!

In honor of NIAW, today's giveaway is inspired by my girl's nights out.

Custom beaded fancy drink earrings made by yours truly.




You will have two chances to win.

1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Follow me on Twitter. Leave another comment comment you have added me. If you are already following me, just do the same.

This giveaway is open to anyone in the world. Comments must be left by 11:59 pm EST on Wednesday 4/29. Winners will be announced on May 4th.

Don't forget, there is a giveaway every day through May 2nd. Although it's too late to win the first two prizes, you can still enter to win Monday's until tonight, Tuesday May 28th 11:59pm EST.

Who's The Daddy?

First of all....

If I get to 100 followers on twitter before @graciekate, I will giveaway another beaded key chain! So, if you're not following me on twitter, GO ADD ME! @induetime

Got it?
http://twitter.com/InDueTime

We can't let her beat me!!!! Show me some twitter love, won't you? ♥
______________________________________________

Remember this?

When she asked me that, I was hurt. I've only talked to her through text since then. She sent me a text today. I asked her if she had the baby yet. She said she did, on my birthday it turns out. She had a baby boy.

He had surgery thr.ee days after he was born for sto.mach issues. Apparently, he was having problems with projectile vom.iting. They did surgery and found out he has this. He also doesn't produce stomach enz.ymes or something like that. He's on medication every three hours for it. He also tested positive for cys.tic fib.rosis.

I feel bad for her. As much as I wish I could be a mom more than her, I wouldn't want her to have a sick baby. He's doing okay right now. I even heard that lovely sweet squeaky new baby cry on the phone today. I'll go see them when I go back home. Long gone are the days from summer 07, when we partied a lot together.

Oh yeah, the "daddy" is the married cop. At least that's what she says. She chose him over her ex. I'd love to know the truth, personally! I don't think either guy knows she slept with the other the same week.

[I don't want her finding my blog by trying to do research on what her son has, so excuse all of the periods!]
-----------------------------------------

Today's giveaway is going to be a custom beaded watch made by yours truly. I won't have time to finish it today but, this blog post much go on!

You will have two chances to win.

1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Follow me on Twitter. Leave another comment comment you have added me. If you are already following me, just do the same.

This giveaway is open to anyone in the world. Comments must be left by 11:59 pm EST on Tuesday 4/28. Winners will be announced on May 4th.

Few other notes... you can enter every giveaway this week! You just have to leave the comments each day.

Show & Tell - NIAW

Yesterday was the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. NIAW runs from Saturday, April 25th, through Saturday May 2nd. Kind of ironic that it ends right before Mother's Day. It's as if they are saying we are almost, but not quite, there yet.


Since it's NIAW, I will be giving something away every day until the 2nd. Since I missed yesterday, I will double up today. Today I am giving away two custom beaded key chains made by yours truly. In honor of my blog title, In Due Time, these key chains will also have a clock. Dangling from the clock, is a lucky lady bug.

You will have two chances to win.

1. Leave a comment on this post.
2. Follow me on Twitter. Leave another comment comment you have added me. If you are already following me, just do the same.

This giveaway is open to anyone in the world. Comments must be left by 11:59 pm EST on Monday 4/27. Winners will be announced on May 4th.

Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing.

What Can Brown Do For You?

Did I ever tell you I had a crush on a UPS guy? I checked my archives, but didn't see a mention of him. Well anyways, I had a mad crush on a UPS guy.

Our flirtatious fling began shortly after I started working the front desk at the doctor's office. He would come in once a day, but that one visit never satisfied my hunger for eye candy. Eventually, he ended up splitting his delivery in half, coming in the morning and again in the afternoon. That way, we could see each other twice. I would watch the clock and look out the window in expectation of his delivery. If he didn't come a day, I would tease him the next time I saw him. "If you weren't working yesterday, you could have at least sent someone in here half as good looking as you until you came back," I would say.

His name was Tommy, but we called him Mr.Brown. He was about ten years older than me, but didn't look it. I still remember his piercing eyes, tanned skin, big calve muscles, strong arms, and sweet smile. I remember thinking how much I would love to take him into the stairway, out of sight, just so I could fuck the hell out of him.

The flirting between us was apparently obvious as co-workers soon started making comments after he left. I wanted to go out on a date with him so bad, but I was with M. I wasn't going to make the first move. I had decided since my home life sucked, if Tommy asked me on a date, I would gladly accept. My fellow front desk coworker decided enough was enough. Unbeknown to me, she told him he needed to ask me out because it was clear we both liked each other. That's when he told her he was married. Married? MARRIED? Why the fuck are all the good guys either gay or married?

I decided since he told her and not me, I was going to play dumb until he told me. I kept on flirting with him, hinting that we needed to go out. One day, he pulled me aside and told me he was married. I told him I knew, but I didn't care because we were just talking. No harm, no foul, right?

On Valentine's day I think he gave me and my coworker a candy heart. For my birthday that year, he got me a card and candy. As he handed it to me, he told me he was worried his wife was going to find it before he got it to me. Shortly after that, he ended up getting a job promotion that separated us for good. I never got to say 'goodbye'.

Every time I see that big brown delivery truck, I smile. What can could have brown done for me? A lot. I may not have ever fucked my boss, but you wouldn't have had to give me money or a car to fuck Mr.Brown.

Have you ever had a crush on a delivery guy?

Wheel of Fortune Part Deux

Remember this?

I was checking out Girl's Gone Child's latest post about her Momversation video which was about judging (or not) young mothers.

I always said I wasn't going to be an old* mom like my mother. After all, she turned 25 two weeks after having her first child. Jesus, that's OLD! I wanted to be almost, if not completely, done having all four-to-six of my liter by the time I turned 25.

Then, I started trying. And trying. And trying. And trying. Reality soon hit me that I was infertile. Fast forward almost five years later, I am twenty-five years old and still childless. Unless some grand miracle happens, we won't be able to afford treatments until after he graduates grad school in about five years. By then, I'll be thirty years old. Holy shit.

Unlike some most women, my only dream job, career choice if you will, was is to be a Mom. I wanted to be the young mother.

While leaving a comment on Rebecca's blog, word verification decided to play wheel of fortune with me again. Except this time, the puzzle has been solved for me.



Yes, I am aching. Sometimes it's a sharp pain, other times it's more like a dull ache or throb. One way or another though, I'll make it to the finish line. I may be older than I had planned, but damn it, I'll get there. Even if I'm so old I have to change my diaper after I change my child's. I'll get there.

*I ♥ old moms. Don't take offense. I just wanted to be a younger mother.

April ICLW

If you're new to my blog from ICLW, Welcome! If you've been here before... carry on!

I turned 25 three weeks ago. I'm originally from Mem.phis, but currently residing in Talla.hassee with my other half, NYEBoy. We're here for another five years while he gets his PhD and I wait to spend all of his money

This summer marks 5 years TTC. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2006. I may have another genetic disorder, but since it's rare and I haven't been genetically tested for it yet, I don't want to announce what "IT" is on my blog.

My family is crazy. We put the fun in dysfunctional. My mother is a compulsive gambler and my father is an alcoholic, although neither will admit it. My brother moved to Utah to be with his crazy girlfriend. My sister lives with her baby daddy, Thug Boy. The only thing either of them have done to make the world a better place, was have my beautiful, amazing niece, A.

A is my world. I wish I could take her from her parents and give her the life she deserves. She's the child I've fought for so long to have. I love her as much, if not more, than any child I can't could bare.

I work from home. I'm currently a reseller while I work on my "BIG IDEA" I hope to announce by this time next ICLW! I'm a bit sarcastic, sometimes funny, and even a little vain. Everything you read on my blog is me, I have no shame. You can also find (and follow) me on Twitter.

Basically, it's like the header says. They say good things come to those who wait, these are the rantings of an infertile waiting for her time. In due time or so they say.

Childless Infertile Weekend

Things have been quiet around here lately, on the blog and around the house. NYEBoy is wrapping up his last two weeks of his first year in grad school. I'm trying to get a dent in my workload before my "BIG IDEA" is announced next month.

Instead of working or prepping for finals, we spent the entire weekend on the couch or in the bed watching movies. After we went to see State or Play Friday night, we decided to hit up a local Red Box to rent some movies. Because when you don't can't have kids, this is how you roll. We rented Milk, Doubt, Rachel Getting Married, What Just Happened, Fireproof, and Slumdog Millionaire.

Have you ever used a Red Box? Visit their site to find your nearest location. Each rental is only $1 a day. How awesome is that?

Just Another Reason To Have Kids...

No Coke?





No Problem*!



*I can not be held liable if you decide to do this and your child gets squashed.

Excuse the crappy pics taken with iphone.

What If

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if...?

While I was mindlessly searching Facebook groups tonight, I saw a group for my dad's bar from the 80's-90's. It has nearly 600 members. I read through all the wall comments. Memories of cheap food, beer, and cigs, fights, hookups, and live bands on the deck. They also remembered my grandma bar tending. It was very surreal reading it through their memories.

As I was born in 84, amidst all of the partying, I have different memories. My memories include us kid running around the dance floor, playing with the pool tables, the video poker machines, and the arcade games. I remember the stairs and deck, too. I remember climbing atop the bar stools, asking whoever was stocking the bar, to give me a Shirley Temple, minus the orange juice. I remember our family Christmas parties. I remember the tables and chairs.

My dad actually owned two bars. The first one had several fires. It eventually didn't survive the last fire, hence the need for the second bar. My dad made some bad choices, which eventually led to the ending of the bars in the early 90's. I've driven by the area a few times over the years. The bar is currently another college hot spot.

It was located only a few blocks from the university. Chances are, if you're from my hometown and were going to college during this time, you partied there. In fact, while working at the doctors office with my aunt, who helped bar tend back then, I've run into a few patrons. When she tells them who I am, they always remember my dad and I.

I know I would not be the same girl I am today if I had grown up in the bar scene. I would probably be some alcoholic bar slut. I might have been more outgoing, but I wouldn't be the same person, I don't think. It's interesting to think about the what if's from time to time.

So, do you ever wonder what your life would be like if something went a different way in your life?

Emptiness

It was a bit harder for each of us, this time around. When she had to give me a hug goodbye, her body went limp, her voice went quiet. She didn't want to go, not even with grandma. Taking her things out of my trunk and putting them into my mom's wasn't so bad. It was taking the car seat out and putting it into my mom's that made it seem a little more real. As I buckled her into the seat, I told her I loved her. I told her to remember, every time she saw the moon, to know I loved her allll the way there and allll the way back. She gave me half a smile as she told me she loved me, too.

I cried behind my sunglasses as we headed back down I-85. I called my mom a few times to check on them, A wanted to come back, even with her great grandma, grandma, and mother all in the car with her. She wanted us. As we arrived back home, I couldn't even bring myself to unpack the car. I came upstairs, checked the computer, took a shower, and climbed into bed. As I put my leg into bed, I looked over at her empty bed and started to cry. I slept with her pillow for 13 hours.

It's noticeably quiet around these parts. No one waking us up at 2 am asking us for milk or 8 am asking for the television. No noise coming from the backseat of the car. No car seat, either. No one in the back seat of the car asking why we aren't going on a red light or asking us if we can turn up the radio. No screams from the bathroom telling us the are done. No one behind me in my chair. No one on the couch bothering him while he works. She's not here. We feel it. We miss her.

Show & Tell - Happy Birthday Mom!

My mom turns 50 yrs old young old today. The past 50 years haven't been very easy on her, whether it's from her own doing or not. My mom is a very negative person, very much a glass half empty kind of person. She never sees the good in things, only the bad. You know, the woe is me type. I'm not sure that she's ever been truly happy. I don't think I can recall a moment in my 25 years of her being truly happy. I wish I could change that for her, but I can't. I often want to shake her by her shoulders to wake her up. I want her to be happy. I want her to be able to enjoy her life on this earth, the ups and downs. I'm not sure what I can do to help her or even if there is anything I can do. I love her regardless of everything we've been through as a family. I hope one day I can make her happy.

Yesterday, we met half way to take A back. I stayed up all night making her a cake and packing. I'm not sure how many other 50 year old mother's had a kick ass cake like this made by their least favorite daughter, but she did. It even tasted good, too!



This was my attempt at making a rainbow cake using a Wilton Giant Cupcake pan. The cake pan takes a careful balance of cooking the center and not burning the edge. I managed to finally cook the center without burning too much of the edge. I would have taken a picture of the outside, but forgot I had a camera until Mom reminded me I had my iphone. I just used the normal white cake recipe and added food coloring instead of making it the diet cake like the recipe suggested. I think it was a successful first try.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you a lot. I hope one day you'll be truly happy. May this bright cheery cake kick off a happy 50 more years. Love Always, Your least Favorite Daughter

Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is sharing:

Note To Self: Get A Better Hiding Spot

I was getting A ready for bed tonight in my office. I stood her on my desk because I am too lazy to bend over to put on her pajama leggings. As she looked over to the television, she saw her Easter basket. She reached for it before I could stop her. "Dee he come? Da easer bunny? Dee he bring me sum of dem eggs? Do dey haf sum kandee in dem?", she asked. I told her he did indeed come, but that it was too late to see what was in her basket. I told her we would look at it in the morning.

It's just a basket with eggs filled with candy. I was hoping to get some other things before I gave it to her, but considering we are joined at the hip, I haven't found time. She's only two. She won't care, right?

Oh well, it was just the Easter bunny making a pit-stop in Talla.hassee before she goes back home Saturday. I guess I need to clean up the downstairs since I think there might be an egg hunt in our future.

Madeline Alice Spohr

Madeline Alice Spohr
November 11th, 2007 ~ April 7th, 2009



A fellow blogger, Heather, of The Sphors Are Multiplying, unexpectedly lost their 17 month old daughter, Madeline. The outpouring of support has been amazing.

It's just further proof we're not just a bunch of bloggers or tweeters, we're a community.

Donations can be made to the March of Dimes or to her parents to help with the burial cost.



My thoughts and prayers are with Heather, Mike, and their families right now.

Alone Time

The past week has been rough. I think it's a combination of the weather, my birthday, A going back home soon, and other shit that has come up. When I have weeks or days like these, I often wonder if I am really cut out for motherhood. I wonder if maybe my mother was right. Maybe I should embrace my infertility. Okay, maybe things aren't that bad, but they do suck.

I'm tired. I need a break. A has been here a month. It's exhausting. If A was living with us full time, things would be different. She would be in preschool a few hours a week. She would be in a steady routine. I would feel more comfortable leaving her with NYEBoy. (It's not that I don't trust him, but I feel guilty wanting to leave her with him. For his sake, not hers.) But, she's not. If she's not asleep, she's up my ass, or beside me, or in my lap, or sitting behind me in my chair. Or. Or. Or..

Some nights, I stay up late just so I can absorb some alone time. That's not good for my sleep, but I need alone time. Time to re-energize. Time to reflect. Time to cool down. Especially on days when we can't give her a proper nap due to our schedules.

I hope tomorrow is better.

She's Going Back

Dramalish asked me the other day how things were going with A. I didn't respond back right away, because I wasn't exactly sure where we were. I finally have an update.

My sister couldn't come up with the money for the hotel or a place to rent. She had moved in with my father. Thugboy has moved into his mother's apartment. I'm not sure how it's going to all work out. My sister has been brainwashed by Thugboy for the past few years into thinking her father doesn't care about her. They argue about a lot of things, but I suspect with them working opposite hours, it could work out.

A will be going back home this weekend. Thankfully, my mother has agreed to meet us half way. We're going to miss her. If things don't work out, I suspect she will be back sooner, rather than later. Otherwise, we'll get her again in the summer.

My sister needs to learn to listen to her family. My father needs to watch out for signs that he's being used. I need to learn I can't control any of this, no matter how unfair it is.

As with everything else in my life, only time will tell.

Show & Tell - The Reason Why Sonic & AT&T Can Kiss My Ass *Update*

I had planned to go to the beach again this weekend. Friday night, I filled up the gas tank and packed our bags. The only thing standing in our way was sleep. NYEBoy wanted to sleep in. We got there a few hours later than I wanted.

On the way, we stopped by Sonic to pick up lunch for all of us. After about thirty minutes, A asked me to shake up her blue coconut slush. I reached back to grab it from her, to find this: [Go ahead, click it to enlarge. I dare ya. Almost as gross as this, right?]



This picture was taken after the slush became blue coconut "juice". I have no idea what the fuck A ingested, neither did the "manager" when I took it back on the way home. If you're a lawyer in Talla.hasse and you want to help me sue, hit me up. Ha.

Of course, after I saw the condition of the "slush", er, shit, I wasn't going to give it back to my baby girl. I held onto it until we got to the beach. (Fucking XM radio takes over our extra cup holder. Bastard.)

While I was looking for the $5 to give to the beach lady, my phone got curious about the shit in the slush, too. Yes folks, the unthinkable happened again. After we pulled away, I noticed my iPhone in the cup getting drunk.

We were two hours away from an AT&T* so I decided to enjoy our trip to the beach, regardless. Once we made it back to town, we hit up the AT&T store to buy a new iPhone. After all, they did drop the price to $199, right? Wrong. Apparently, I am three weeks shy of being allowed to "upgrade" to the price of $199. I can get it today, for $399, or wait three weeks and pay $199. Despite only having three fucking weeks until the "time is up", AT&T wouldn't budge.

Apparently the $300+ a month NYEBoy and I spend (okay, so NYEBoy pays, but still!) a month is not good enough for AT&T to allow us to "upgrade" at the "new" "lowered" rate without waiting three more weeks. Instead of paying them $399 or $199 for that matter, I am going to cancel my service with them for $175. I will gladly take the $300 and give it to Sprint, Verizon, or whatever fucking company wants to take our payment each month.

Sonic, you can kiss my ass for the poor excuse of a manager you had that kept repeating to himself "WTF is that?" No shit sherlock, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FEEDING MY NIECE? If you wouldn't have given her a slush full of shit, my phone would be fine right now.

AT&T, you can kiss my ass for not waiving a three week lapse because of a fucking accident. I hope the $200 means a lot to you. A lot more than the nearly $4,000 a year we spend using your service. Piss ass excuse for customer service.

*AT&T, you really should include have an application that shows you the nearest AT&T location. Not that I care any more.

Don't forget to go see what the rest of the class is sharing. Hopefully, they are having a better weekend than I am.





****Updated****
NYEBoy went back to the AT&T store, like a sucker, to pay $400 for the phone. He's more forgiving than I am. As he was being rung up, the guy told him, "Oh, it looks like it's going to actually be $599, instead of $399." He asked if the guy was joking, indeed he wasn't. NYEBoy arrived home furious. He called Apple, who told him they didn't even have a phone that was $599. The Apple person told him to try another AT&T store. He went to another store and after a little bit of discussion, they told him he was actually eligible for the $199 price. I am going to the other store tomorrow to have a discussion with the manager. I want them to know what they put us through, almost lost them a customer who pays nearly $4,000 a year.

Look Carefully

I was sitting in my office, when I heard a strange noise. I thought it was coming from the Backyardigans on the TV, but when I hit mute, I realized it wasn't.

I peered out of my window (Then grabbed my camera, because honestly, WTF?!) to see this...



Do you see what I see?

Look closer.

Now, do you see it?

It's raining. The yard work just can't possibly wait.

Just for further proof this guy is a dumbass, here is a picture of the radar. We are located some where around the hot pink dot.

The Dark Side

NYEBoy has been saying for awhile that he needs to get a new pair of sandals. When it rained, he said his feet were soaked. I would usually just ignore him, because I am usually wearing Crocs, which make my feet soak, too. He would also bitch about the occasional rock hurting his foot. I didn't have too much sympathy then either. Again, because of the Crocs.

While we were waiting on the car to get fixed the other day, I noticed something about his sandals. I had a flashback of John Goodman playing Fred Flintstone in The Flintstones movie. I swear the boy yabba-dabba-doo'ed the soles of his sandals. I knew before he was going to class, I was taking him shoe shopping, whether he liked it or not.


I have been trying to convince NYEBoy for awhile to come to the dark side of Crocs. He's always refused. "They are ugly and only for prisoners!". he'll exclaim. We went to the mall looking for a pair of men's brown, closed-toe sandals, with no Velcro on the backs, in a size 10 or 10.5. Something similar to these:



We looked high and low, in every fucking shoe or department store in the entire mall. Only three of the stores even had something comparable, but none of them met all the specifications. I was getting annoyed. There was only an hour left before he had to be in class. Our last hope was Dillard's. There were no other stores in the mall that sold men's sandals. If I didn't find them there, I was going to have to look online when I got home.

While we were looking at Dillard's, they didn't have his size in the pair he was going to settle on. Then, I spotted them. CROCS! I begged and pleaded for him to just try them on. If he didn't like it, fine. But, for fuck sake, just try them.



I held my breath as he slipped his foot in. Time stopped. I could hear my heart pounding. I couldn't bare the thought of going to another shoe store or having to look online. As he looked up, I asked, "So"? He shrugged, "I guess these will work", he said.

Folks, I did it. I brought NYEBoy over to the dark side of Crocs. I can't believe it. Now, I just get to wait for him to bust his ass for the first time. Crocs can be a hazard to your health. If you don't believe me, go walk in the rain.

Oh, if you feel so inclined, please leave a comment. NYEBoy didn't think this was worth blogging, but I totally disagree. If I thought I could share a picture of his sandals without becoming instantly single, I totally would. Lucky for him, I love him too much to take that risk.

Consider Yourself Warned

If you visit my family, lock up your cameras, phones, and computers. If you don't, consider yourself warned, someone will go through them.

Family, if you pick up my camera, phone, or computer, consider yourself warned, you might not like what you find.

If you pick up my camera, you might find hundreds of pictures of my inventory or hundreds of pictures of A. If you're lucky, you might even find a naked picture of me thrown in, much like a cherry on top. Don't turn up your nose, when you and your spouse live hundreds of miles a part, a naked picture reminds him of what he's waiting on. Then again, maybe it reminds him of why he's not with you. Depends on the mood, I suppose.

If you pick up my iPhone, you might find text messages that you don't like. Some might say "I'm bored. When are we leaving?", "I'm so fucking horny. I can't wait to fuck the shit out of you.", or they might just be a simple, hello. Like I said about the camera, it just depends on the mood.

If you pick up my computer, you might find my twitter page. If you find my twitter page and decide to Google to read more after I leave, but instead find my blog, consider yourself warned. You might find things about me you didn't know, thing about me you don't like.

Let's recap. If you're coming to visit my family, lock up your shit. If you're my family, and you find my blog by snooping through said shit, you might not like what you see or read. Consider yourself warned.