Little Mouth, Big Fingers

A "side effect", if you will, of having "IT" is also having a small mouth. That explains why for all of these years, the dentist yell at me for not opening my mouth wide enough, despite me saying I CAN'T! I have an abnormally small mouth, which I completely make up for with cussing. Maybe it's little man syndrome of the mouth.

Growing up, we didn't go to the dentist much before or during my parents divorce. I think I can only recall going once and it was only because of a really bad cavity. It wasn't until my early teenage years that my father finally started taking us to the dentist and orthodontist. Even in the beginning, My dad was always sending us to adult dentist. After throwing up in a dentist face, my father finally agreed to send me to a pediatric dentist.

During my teenage years, I had several teeth removed, several cavities filled, braces, and a retainer to boot. It was a traumatic experience. My mouth is small and these dentist didn't give a shit. Once my dad kicked me off his insurance, I wasn't able to afford dental insurance or care again for about four or five years. Even then, I only went to the dentist two or three times. Just long enough to get temporary work done to get the pain to go away. I had too much anxiety and never went back.

That was in 2007. Earlier this year I had a tooth abscess in one of the teeth they did a partial root canal in. I was supposed to return to complete it, but obviously never did. I swore I would find the time to get the tooth taken care of, once and for all. But, I didn't. Several months later, it happened again. Another abscess, same tooth. This was it. I had to make time to get the tooth fixed. But, I didn't. And one day last week while I was eating pizza, the tooth said enough is enough. All of it cracked except a tiny piece.

I had no choice. NYEBoy made me an appointment to see someone. I was embarrassed to see a dentist with my mouth in the condition it was/is in. What responsible adult let's their teeth get the way mine was/is? I did, of course.

I had a lot of anxiety about seeing this dentist. Where their hands going to be big? Am I going to start sweating and pass out? No, really, am I? Would I cry? While I was going through the medical history things like "Do you have anxiety? Have you had a heart attack?" My answer was "Only at the dentist." I can do this. I have to do this. I have no choice. Suck it up, bitch. Oh! My name just got called! I told The Crew to sell my inventory and split up my computers and the amount they got from the inventory selling if I didn't come out alive.

After getting an xray and explaining to the assistant that I needed a smaller xray piece because of a small mouth from a chromosome disorder, I finally got the first part out of the way. And there part of it is...



As soon as the dentist walked in, I immediately felt the need to explain why my mouth was in such disarray. Bad childhood memories, no insurance, insurance, anxiety, and back to no insurance with more anxiety thrown in for happy hour. After one look of the xray it was clear I wasn't going to get out of there without an extraction. She told me not to worry. She was going to help me.

Five (or six?) shots, lots of blood, tons of pressure, popping, prodding, about 1,000 atta girl's, and about an hour or so later, I was done. Gauze on tooth to stop bleeding, an instruction packet in hand, and a WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS glare to NYEBoy, and I was walking out of the door with a follow up appointment in a week.

The pain sucked. I've had several teeth SURGICALLY removed, at one time, and it didn't hurt this bad. Tylenol 3 makes me feel like I'm walking on clouds and makes me fall asleep, but it helps with the pain. I don't like taking pain pills, but I finally had to after I was in bed crying to my mom telling her it hurt so bad.

Over the weekend, I noticed a piece of tooth scraping my tongue. I decided to go back in this morning to have them look at it. Without a wince, the dude started trying to remove it. Sans pain meds. NOTHING! He was wiggling, pulling, and breaking shit in there with no warning. It hurt so bad. He filed down what was left and told me to come back on Thursday for the follow up.

I'm still in quite a bit of pain, so I'm not sure if it's from a dry socket or if there's actually a big piece of tooth still in there, like I think I'm feeling. I don't think I can wait until Thursday for the follow up. I just need to decide if I'm going to be a pussy and walk in again or call them crying. I can't be doped up on pain pills while driving to drop off and pick up the crew, especially with a 3 year old in tow and in my care, alone, when we get home.

Dental work sucks. The bill sucked, too.

Hopefully, I'll get this tooth pain worked out soon enough. I can't stand it.