Really big thanks to @kristencmcd for helping me take NYEBoy and K to school and for buying me pizza, coke, and breadsticks
When the car broke down last week, my dad called my sister in the middle of the exhausting stress-fest. He basically told my sister that it was NYEBoy and I's fault for the car breaking down. If we didn't go out to eat all of the time we would have money to get a better car.
Now, while you try to digest that for a moment, let me go back to 10 years ago. Ten years ago, at the age of 15, I began working. With the exception of this past year, I have worked every single fucking year since I was 15. Day in and day out. I worked my ass off. My sister and brother didn't even get a job until 2 or 3 years ago and our age differences are only four years total. Since I began working, I have helped my mother with bills on numerous occasions. I can't recall really needing to borrow money from my parents since I began working because I was usually the one bailing someone else out. Unless, of course, my sister stole my money from me the day I got paid, because she could and she knew mom would never do anything about it.
A year ago, I quit my job to work from home while NYEBoy attends graduate school. NYEBoy was doing his thing, and I was doing mine. I didn't need my parents help. NYEBoy's dad paid for our condo for the year because he has always taken care of his children's housing. Everything was going great. I still never asked, nor had the need to ask, my parents for money. However, about three months ago, our live changed dramatically. Before we found out about the girls, NYEBoy's dad called us to tell us he would not be paying the rent for the upcoming year. He was supposed to buy us a house, but had told us he wasn't going to be able to make it back to the country before our lease was up, so we were just going to stay where we were for six months to a year. However, he's in his sixties and married some chic in another country so he's gone all weird on us. No big deal though, NYEBoy can afford our bills. We'll just be eating at home a bit more often.
Once it was established that the girls were indeed moving in with us, my parents offered to help us with their extra expenses. The food, the utilities, the extra gas to take and pick up K from school every day, the cell phone, etc, etc. it all adds up so quickly on our newly tight budget. It wasn't long after the girls got here though, that we realized my dad was being an ass about helping out. My Mom doesn't make much, but she wasn't helping with what she could. Her sister lost her job so she's been helping her, too. I didn't/don't expect much more help from her, but my dad I did/do. He wants a receipt for everything we buy.
When A had to get her $175 prescription filled, I called FIVE pharmacies to find the cheapest price, all the while having swine flu myself. He still refused to help pay for it. NYEBoy had enough of my dad's bullshit and went off on him. He told him it was time for him to step up to his responsibilities. If his grandchild needed the medication that a doctor prescribed, don't give us bullshit about the price and other ways to save, even though we asked about that with each pharmacy. Luckily, the pharmacy we went with, only had enough for one days worth of medication because we didn't have to pay until the next day when the order came in. My mother helped us pay for it.
I haven't been able to work since the girls moved in. In part because my house is a mess and I can't find the time to get organized, but also because I am busy running people around, cooking and feeding, cleaning and helping K study for school to have any extra time to work, much less blog.
Money is tight and it sucks. It sucks because I'm struggling to find a balance so that I can help out with the family finances. It sucks because even though I contemplate getting a night job even though I already don't get enough sleep, the pay wouldn't be worth the sacrifice. NYEBoy is upset because he doesn't think I should work because I didn't before the girls got here and we were doing just fine. Thugboy hasn't sent us a dime to help pay for his child. We still have another three months before we can even file for child support and sole custody. NYEBoy wants my father to step up and help, like he agreed to and is capable of doing without the added bullshit games he plays. I'm made because NYEBoy works his ass off, 60 hours a week working, not even including his schooling, to help the family, yet we get the bullshit from my dad if we eat something other than spam and h2o. I'm made because I want a hair cut and pedicure, but I can't get it because there are more important things we have to deal with right now, even if my feet are ugly as hell and my hair is almost to my ass. I'm made because I own less than 10 pieces of clothing, yet we are "wasting" our money on "things other than the girls". We have other bills, other than the girls, that have to get paid too. Our output bill-wise is very high, but we shouldn't have to explain every bill NYEBoy has to my father for him to see, we're doing the best we can.
It'll all be worth it in the end, though. I hope. All of the struggles. All of the arguments. All of it will be worth it. We'll be better off in a year or two, but fuck it sucks right now.
I guess I should mention that my father has never paid child support for us. It's not like he's raised us 20+ years and doesn't have the money, he does. He's just an asshole sometimes. This was the first year since A was born that I did not call him on his birthday (Saturday) because I am so hurt by his words. He's never been a great father, but fuck I've made an effort since A was born to try to mend a relationship strained from child abuse. It hasn't been easy, but this really made me put the breaks on our relationship.