My Present

My Mom has until Monday to be out of the house due to the foreclosure. She's flying back home today from my Uncles house. My sister was going to go live with my dad, but they got in an argument. So, then they decided they would go live with Thugboys mom and broad of sisters.

Yesterday, Thugboy and his sister got into a physical fight and he was arrested for domestic violence. He's being bonded out of jail today. The police told my sister, DHS would be coming to see them in the next 24 hours because the house was so dirty.

I need to go get the baby, but my mom is downplaying it. My aunt called me upset today and told me she wanted me to get a hold of my sister because she thinks I need to get A for "awhile", not a week or two.

Why does my sister want to continue to live like this? Why would she not want her daughter to come live with us to get out of that situation? My heart is breaking for A. I wish I could drive there, pick her up, and never let her live with them again.

My mom is going to call me when she gets back in town to let me know if I need to come home to get her. PLEASE pray they wake up and say yes. I miss my baby and she doesn't need to live like that.

I'll update later. I'm going to try to enjoy our anniversary for the next few hours, because it could all change by the stroke of midnight.

Note To NYEBoy: Happy Anniversary

Dear NYEBoy,

What a difference a year makes, eh? Who would have thought a year ago I would be so happy? I never thought someone could love me as much as you do. I thought I would always have to settle. You've proven that theory wrong.

If you would have told me a year ago I was going to quit my job and leave all my family and friends in '08, I would have told you to keep dreaming. Although the move was rough on this ole body of mine, I am glad I did it.

Thank you for treating me the way you do, even if I can be a complete bitch. I suck sometimes, I know and I'm sorry. No matter what, please know that you do make me happy.

Thank you for everything.

Love,
Me

PS: Incase you didn't know....

A Year In Review, Take Two

So, I ended last year saying I was looking forward to see what 2008 had in store for me. Although I knew a pregnancy for myself was pretty much out of the question, I still had hope it would be a year with more good news, rather than bad. And, for the most part, I was right.

January started out like the year before, with pregnancy announcements from co-workers. But, with NYEBoy visiting every weekend, I had better things to focus on. I was also dealing with anxiety and panic attacks from the wreck, they eventually subsided. Stephanie passed away, but I still check her site out for updates from her Mom.

In February met my brother for the first time. Who would have guessed at the end of the year he would have moved across the country to Ut.ah to be with said drunk girl. I had the best Valentine I could ever ask for. A co-worker’s father passed away unexpectedly, it was by far the worst funeral I have ever been to.

In March I wrote a letter to my body. We found out NYEBoy was accepted to Fl0rida State and after much thought, I decided I would move with him. I also turned 24, but looking back my birthday post never got posted and was still in draft form. It was an awesome birthday, I got completely shit faced at dinner, and came home to have drunk sex. What else could a girl wish for? Oh, right, a baby.

April was pretty boring. NYEBoy continued to visit on the weekends. I had my annual pap and everything was fine. I also started getting a little nervous about having to pack for the big move.

In May we visited Talla.hassee for the first time. It was short, but fun. Mother’s Day came and went without too many tears and nary a positive pregnancy test in site.

June, ah, June. A turned two. TWO! I also had a a few health scares, they thought I had a tumor in my ear. Thankfully, everything turned out okay. I also found out I might have “IT”. I still haven’t posted about “IT”, but eventually want to get genetically tested for “IT” before I blog about because it’s some what rare and I don’t want my blog to be found by googling “IT”.

In July we actually had A’s birthday party, which turned out exhaustingly awesome! July also marks four years of my TTC journey, sitting here at 4.5 years is a bit uncomfortable.

In August, NYEBoy moved to Talla.hassee. My Mom had back surgery and I found out shortly after that she was going to lose her house. August also marked my third year of blogging. Wooo Hooo!

In September I moved almost 600 miles away from everything I’ve ever known. That’s big enough for one month, don’t ya think?

I tried to get settled into my new home in October. We dealt with a ton of rental issues, but some how made it through. I still hate our leasing company and think they can eat shit, though. I went back home to get A at the end of the month, and she was an Obama supporter to piss off my Republican mom.

In November we saw a miracle when Obama won. I had the joy of taking care of A for almost four weeks. She was a mess, but I still miss her.

I made it through December without a complete break down. It's the toughest time for infertiles, but I did it.

As this year comes to an end, I find myself wondering what '09 has in store. Goodbye 2008, thanks for not whooping my ass.

Did You Miss Me?

This is just one reason why I love Florida.

We got home late Saturday night early Sunday morning. We spent yesterday re-cooping from the drive. Our Christmas was very low-key compared to normal. We went to Universal while we were in Orlan.do, more on that later. It was nearly impossible to get online because of my nosy family. Although I'm going to miss them, it's so nice to be back home again.

All Aboard

Why is it such a pain in the ass to wake up and go out of town? We're already an hour behind schedule. I haven't even woke NYEBoy up, yet. Lucky for me, my body's natural alarm clock woke me up every hour, despite being up for over 24 hours before laying down last night. Whatever. I have a load of clothes in the laundry, need to straighten my hair, and finish packing. I guess I'll go and do that.

I'm going to Universal Studios for the first time in my life tomorrow. I can hardly wait. My uncle rocks. I can't wait to see my Grandma.

The Storm Before The Calm

This being the storm and this being the calm. I just put my online store on vacation, packaged up the last two orders to go out, and paid my fees.

However, I still need to do laundry, pack, cook, and clean. The family starts flying into my Uncle's tomorrow and it looks like we will head down there first thing Tuesday morning.

I must get off the computer now as I need to finish making about 200 chocolate covered truffles, white chocolate peanut butter popcorn, and peanut butter cookies before I can start on the other things.

ETA: I had too much semi sweet chocolate left over to just throw away so I took a graham cracker, broke into fours (follow the lines, folks!), and dipped each quarter half way into chocolate. After they had a minute to set up, I added a small sprinkling of sea salt. Placed in fridge to harden. Oh my, de-lish! You have your chocolate, your cookie, and that bad-mother-fucker, salt. Mmm. Keebler doesn't have shit on me. Take that you cookie elf!

Show & Tell - Oh, Christmas Tree

Ignore the blinds, wall, and desk. Now, isn't my tree so pretty? I never got around to buying more hooks to finish putting the other 100-200 ornaments or my bows up. I can't wait until next year when we are in an actual house and I can decorate big time. I am big on themed trees. This is a snowman themed tree with white, silver, and blue decorations. I love it. I even have a disco ball ornament that spins. Pretty funky, eh?

Oh, what do y'all think of my new blog design? I still need to tweak a few things, but otherwise I'm done with the main layout. NYEBoy keeps telling me to stop playing with it. Oh the joys of being with a guy who is getting his PhD in computer science.

Go see what everyone else is sharing...



And, don't forget ICLW has started.
Go Iron or Go Bust!
I'm going Iron, are you?



IComLeavWe: Join the Conversation

Note To Self: Movies

If you call your Mom on the way to the movies and your 2 year old niece ask you what you're doing, do not tell her you are going to the movies. For some reason, they don't realize there is almost 600 miles between Mem.phis and Talla.hassee, so when you tell her she can't come with you because you're too far away, she'll throw the phone at grandma and get upset. Then, she'll get back on the phone to say "Can't I pwease go wif yew to da moo-bees?".

Excuse Me While I Play

I'm playing with my blog instead of working today.

ETA: I think I'm done playing. Whatcha think?!

ETA, Part Deux: Okay, I think I like this layout better. Whatcha think now? I am going to work on my side bars later.

What Do You Want?

Everyone keeps dropping hints, trying to ask what I want for Christmas. Although I secretly want to give them the url for this, I just tell them a gift card to Wallyworld.

When I end up with $500 in gift cards to Wallyworld, remind me that THIS is the only thing I told them to get me.

Down To The Wire

How is it possible there is only a week until Christmas? Better yet, how is it possible there is only two weeks until 2008 is over?

Two Aunts, an Uncle, and my Grandma are flying in to 0rlando on Monday and my Mom and another aunt are flying in on Christmas Eve. We're suppose to head down there either Monday or Tuesday. I haven't decided which yet. The thought of 12 people finding enough places to sleep in one house for a few nights is enough to make me want to break out in hives. Luckily though, couples tend to get priority over everyone else. Except Grandma, of course.

It will be the first Christmas I have ever spent with not a single child under the age of 16 around. As an infertile I should be grateful, but I am going to really miss A. But, my Aunt J called me today to remind me to bring my bathing suit because the pool is heated and they plan to have the hot tub on every night. Ahh, Christmas in Fl0rida.

I'm trying to get my Mom to come back to our house (4 hr drive) for a few days before she flies back to help me organize my house, but the heated pool and hot tub sound more appealing to her. Sniff.

Anyone else a little freaked out about how fast it's flying?

This Time of Year

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. This time of year fucking sucks.

I just found out yet another ex-co-worker is pregnant. It's bad enough they text me asking me how to get pregnant, but they are also getting pregnant on their own and people are texting me the news. The count is up to six.

I am so glad I am not working there now, having to go through this every year.

If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom floor, curled up in the fetal position, crying, asking the world how this is fucking fair. HOW!?

20 Days

My mom got the notice. She has to be out of the house in 20 days. I wish I had the money to go back home and take the remainder of my stuff out of her house over to my dads. But I haven't had that many sales for the past two weeks and money is too tight. Sigh. This sucks.

Dear Zachary: A Letter To His Son About His Father

Last weekend as I was having trouble falling asleep, I was channel surfing and stopped on MSNBC. At first, I thought it was just another 'who dun it' type show. I soon realized it wasn't. I was glued to the TV for two hours. Dear Zachary began as a family film to a son who's father was murdered by his mother before he was born. His father's best friend, Kurt, wanted Zachary to grow up knowing about his father, Andrew Bagby. Kurt traveled across the world to interview friends and family and to collect any pictures or home videos they had.

While the documentary was being filmed, they were still fighting to get Shirley extradited back to the US while she was out on bail. Shirley shot Andrew five times and left him for dead in a park, in case you were wondering how evil this woman was.


This was, by far, the most touching piece of film I have ever seen. I cried for an hour after I saw it. Even after watching it for the second time, I am still just as touched as I was last weekend. Kate and David, I don't know how in the hell they continue to live every day. My thoughts and prayers are with Andrew's family and friends.

Please visit Dear Zachary's website to send a letter to the Canada government. Did you see the documentary? What did you think?

Show & Tell - Worldwide Candle Lighting

The second Sunday of every December, The Compassionate Friends, holds a worldwide candle lighting event to honor and remember the children who have died. The age and cause doesn't matter. At 7:00pm (your time) they ask you to light a candle and let it burn for one hour.

Melissa brought up tertiary mourning this week and asked us to give our input on how to remember as well.

I would like to light a candle in honor of some wonderful children, who left this world way too soon. Malcolm and Eddie died, at 12, when a drunk driver jumped the curb as they walked home from school. My cousin Jenn, age 15, who died in a car accident. A school mate Ashley, age 17, who also died in a car accident. A school mate Charles, age 15, who killed himself. In honor of Sylvia, Claire, and Lucy, Lennox and Zoë, Nicholas and Zachary, Thomas, and all the other babies our infertility community has lost. Also in honor of those of you like Jodi who have had a miscarriage before you even got a chance to meet your little ones.

I light this candle in honor of them. Please join me by visiting the Gratefulness website. When you light your candle, please use IF08 (stands for Infertility 2008) as the group name, so we can all be on one page.

After you've lit your candle and wiped away the tears, go see what else the class is sharing.




Also in honor of Zachary. If you haven't seen Dear Zachary: A letter to his son about his father, please watch it on MSNBC at 4pm EST (check your local listings) as I will be blogging about it tomorrow.

What Are You Getting Him?

What are you getting the man in your life for Christmas?

If I had the money, he would be getting a Kindle. But, because I don't, he's not. Sorry, honey!!

I don't know what I am going to get him since I haven't had a lot of sales this month. Arg.

Layers, A MeMe!

Layer One:
- Name: InDueTime
- Birth date: March 30th
- Birthplace: Tennessee
- Current Location: Florida
- Eye color: Hazel
- Hair Color: Medium Brown
- Height: 5′ 0"
- Righty or Lefty: Righty
- Zodiac sign: Aries

Layer Two:
- Your Heritage: *SHRUGS*
- The shoes you wore today: These, duh.
- Your weakness: Food & Shopping.
- Your fears: Dying, Being Lonely, Never Being A Mom
- Your perfect pizza: Thin Crust Pepperoni
- Goal you’d like to achieve: Motherhood

Layer Three:
- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Probably OMG! or LOL!
- Your first waking thoughts: I'm so glad I don't have to go to work. Heh.
- Your best physical feature: My ass and my eyes. No, really!
- Your most missed memory: Going out last summer.

Layer Four:
- Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
- McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
- Single or group dates: Single
- Adidas or Nike: Nike
- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
- Cappuccino or coffee: Both

Layer Five:
- Smoke: No
- Cuss: Like a sailor…
- Sing: All the time.
- Take a shower everyday: If you're lucky.
- Do you think you’ve been in love: Yep.
- Want to go to college: NYEBoy wishes!
- Liked high school: Yep.
- Want to get married: *hint, hint, hint*
- Believe in yourself: Sometimes.
- Get motion sickness: Sometimes.
- Think you’re attractive: Sometimes.
- Think you’re a health freak: A freak of health, maybe.
- Get along with your parents: Sometimes.
- Like thunderstorms: Yeah
- Play an instrument: I could make this really sexual.

Layer Six: In the past month….
- Drank alcohol: No
- Smoked: No
- Done drugs: No.
- Made out: Maybe!
- Gone on a date: Eh
- Gone to the mall: Yep
- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Candy Cane Oreos, 'nuff said!
- Eaten sushi: Hell no
- Been on stage: No
- Been dumped: No
- Gone skating: No
- Made homemade cookies: Yep!
- Gone skinny dipping: Nothin on this body is 'skinny'
- Dyed your hair: Nope
- Stolen anything: Nope

Layer Seven: Have you ever….
- Played a game that required removal of clothing: ...does teasing count?
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Of course!
- Been caught “doing something”: No
- Been called a tease: Yes
- Gotten beat up: Nope
- Shoplifted: Nah, too skerrid.
- Changed who you were to fit in: Not really.

Layer Eight:
- Age you hope to be married: I already thought I would be. But, hopefully soon.
- Describe your dream wedding: On the beach.
- How do you want to die: I don't.
- Where do you want to go to college: Want? Bwahahaha.
-What do you want to be when you grow up: A Mom!
- What country would you most like to visit: None, America only.

Layer Nine:
- Number of drugs taken illegally: None
- Number of people I could trust with my life: A few...
- Number of CD’s that I own: I don't know!
- Number of piercings: 2 in each ear.
- Number of tattoos: None
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: None?
- Number of scars on my body: Eh. I don't know. Biggest was from my heart surgery. It's from my left n!pple to the middle of my back.
- Number of things in my past I regret: M?

Thanks Krystle for the topic help!

Cookies 4 Santa - Take 1

I'm making some different cookies over the next few weeks for Christmas. I'm doing a test run on the new recipes. These are Paula Dean's Oatmeal Raisin cookies. The recipe can been found at the Food Network. I didn't have the quick oats on hand, just some old fashioned oats from my failed attempt of making Jen's Apple Crisp.

The recipe makes five dozen cookies, which is entirely too many for the two of us. So, I froze half the batch into a freezer bag. Although, if you line a cookie sheet with wax paper, you can dump the entire batch of cookie dough onto the sheet and spread it out. Then, after an hour or two you can pull it out of the freezer and slice them for a self made "break and bake". You can store them in a double bagged freezer bag and take out as many as you want at a time. I also froze the icing. I just reheated it by placing it in the microwave for thirty seconds. I stopped it half way through to massage the bag.

I still have to try a few more recipes, so stay tuned for those pictures. What are you leaving for Santa?

Sunflower Seeds, My Other Addiction

Excessive consumption of sunflower seeds may cause fluid retention, which may cause joint pain, which may be the reason I can barely walk. By excessive, we are talking about 29 oz of the sodium filled crack.

Cure? Drinking lots of water to 'wash' it out.

The thought of drinking water almost makes the pain bearable. The pain sucks, but the water sucks more.

Fun stuff my friends, fun stuff.

Romance, 2.0 Style

Do you think there is anything wrong with asking your spouse something in e-mail?

What about if they are downstairs?

I admit it. Totally lazy. But, it's so effective. Heh.

I Want A Baby, Damn It!

I don't know if it's the holiday's or the hormones, or a little of both, but I really want a baby. Damn it. I was working tonight, trying to put an outfit up, and got sad. I don't want to list it, because I wanted to keep it. For my baby. The baby that may never be. Okay, so maybe one day, but not today, or tomorrow, or next week, or maybe even next year!

Here's the outfit that started this mess. Who wouldn't want to put a squishy little baby in there?



Sigh. I hope he's listening.

Show & Tell - Favorite Pair of Shoes

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes?

When Crocs first came out I thought they were pretty cool, but I wasn't willing to pay $30 for a pair of shoes. I am a very frugal person. So, when I saw some faux crocs at Payless for half the cost, plus an additional savings of BOGO (buy one, get one half off), I knew I had to try them.

I bought a funky pair to go with my scrubs and a pair of navy to go with my jeans. I lived in them for a long time. In fact, I bought them about a month before A was born, and just replaced them with a pair of real crocs I picked up at a consignment sale for $3 right before I moved in September.



Can you tell I wore them a little too much? You can see the tread in the old ones compared to the newer ones. You can see my finger almost pops through the bottom, because I wore them out. I'm also short, so you can see where the sides rubbed the chairs or ground.

Now, go see what else you'll see being shared in class today.

Music To My Ears

I've always loved music. Music is like an audible antidepressant. Ya know, being a bitter and depressed infertile, on my bad days.

I came across Maria Zouroudis on YouTube a few months ago. She's totally fucking amazing. She seriously gives me chills when she sings. I can not believe she isn't signed by some label. No, really! She's a very cute girl, too.

She has ten videos up currently and I anxiously await the next new one. She's done songs from Mariah Carey, Natasha Bedingfield, Rhianna, Alicia Keys, Leona Lewis, and a few others.

Go check her out and give her some YouTube or MySpace love and then come back and let me know what ya think about her!

Gift Ideas For Mom Needed

What do you get a Mom for Christmas who tells you that you've gained so much weight you look like your walking around with an exercise ball?

I know. I'm stumped, too!

Challenging Myself

I have to admit something. I'm a horrible blogger. I visit some blogs daily, but rarely comment on anyone's blog until ICLW week and even then, I suck. I've decided I am going to challenge myself to respond back to your blog, too.

I also just noticed if I post every day until my next blogoversary, I could have my 1000th post to kick off year five.

So, how's that for challenging myself?

2008 Christmas Card

What? Your Christmas cards haven't been mailed yet? You slacker! In case you haven't mailed them yet, Sams Club has 5x7 photo cards starting as low as $10.50 for 30 cards. Did I also mention they can be ready in an hour? They also have cute little 5x7 2009 calendar pictures for $0.38.



They have tons of designs. You'll spend hours playing, but they will be ready in an hour! What are you waiting for? CHRISTMAS?!

Dr. Seuss Ain't Got Nothin' On Me!

I received a text message today from a co-worker. Keep in mind she's a few years older than me, has two kids, and has been dating this guy for about four months.

"Hey girl! Do u no the best position to get pregnant in? Plz dnt tell ne1 I dnt want ne1 2 no. Thx!"

I know, I know. WHAT THE FUCK?!

So, here was my response...


I've tried... Sex on the bed, sex on my head.
Sex in the shower, sex every hour.
Sex with a friend, sex while I bend.
Sex in the kitchen, sex while I pinch him.
Sex during ovulation, sex while looking at a constellation.
Sex in the chair, sex while he pulls my hair.
Sex with a deer, sex with his ear.
Sex with a dog, sex with a hog.
Sex at the zoo, sex with a shoe.
Sex by myself, sex with an elf.
Oh my gawd, AN ELF?
Don't worry my friend, nothing I've tried has worked. So the best fucking advice I can give you is to FUCK!OFF!

Unfortunately, there was too many characters. Lucky for her, I've decided to ignore her message.

I'm now taking applications for new friends. Apply inside. The pay is shitty, but the benefits are totally fucking awesome.

Dear Santa

All I want for Christmas is a baby. I've been a really good girl this year. I've tried to have lots of sex, but I still need your help. It can be a boy or a girl, I'm not biased. I'll even take more than one, if you're feeling really generous. I'll bake you some cookies, just don't forget to leave a bun in my oven. Thanks a million, you're the bestest!

Sincerely,
Me

Don't just sit there, go write your letter to Santa and drop it off at your local Macy's. For every letter that is stamped and address to Santa At The North Pole, Macy's will donate $1, up to $1 million, to the Make-A-Wish foundation. After they count all the letters, they will take them to the post office to be mailed to Santa.

What do you want Santa to bring you?