So, although death wasn't one of the things I mentioned the other day, I feel like I need to blog about it. I thought if I blogged about it, it might ease my mind. Hopefully.
A few weeks ago, I thought about death for some reason and it's scared the hell out of me. I am really afraid of dying. I believe in God, but I have never attended church regularly, so that's probably part of my problem. Or maybe I need to see a shrink, who knows.
I wonder what's going to happen to me when I die, what it's going to feel like. Will it be like being in the dark, just talking to myself, forever? Am I going to Hell? Will it be hot? What is hell like? Is hell full of devils and demons to scare you for eternity? Am I going to Heaven? What is heaven like? Will everything be made of gold and candy?
Then I get into the whole thought about when am I going to die? Will I be 100? If so, I have already lived 1/4 the way through my life, I'm only 3/4 the way there. If I don't live until 100, then I've already lived more than that.
Which leads me to, what will my mark on this world be? What will I have done on this planet to deserve to go to Heaven? If I died tomorrow, I would be dying an infertile 24 year old who really hasn't done too much for the world. That scares me.
Yeah, go ahead, tell me, I already know it! I'm crazy. I've lost it.
2 comments:
I don't want to proselytize to you but I would point out that you said you believe in God. According to the Bible you don't have to do anything to deserve to get into heaven. You have to believe in Christ and the power of his resurrection. That's your ticket in.
As far as hell goes, I am convinced it will be a giant Target brimming with pregnant crack whores and their gaggle of kids. :0)
I can tell you not to worry about the whens and why, but really? Will you do that? I wouldn't. Sometimes when I start thinking about thing that I have no control over, I just go with it. My mind will stop and all will be well in my small spacious mind.
Sending you some hugs, you sound like you need it!
HUGS,
-D
Post a Comment