My mom has been staying with me this past week since my car is being worked on. We had a discussion a night or two ago, about me being infertile. I forgot what brought the discussion up, but it made it's presence none the less. My mom had three children, in her words, 'by just thinking about sex'. She doesn't regret us, but never wanted us either. Harsh words from your mother, but growing up as her daughter, those words don't shock me. I didn't say they don't sting though.
She said she doesn't understand my desire to have children. She doesn't understand any woman's desire to have a child so bad to spend thousands and thousands of dollars. She doesn't understand why it would consume someone's entire life. She doesn't understand why someone would want something so badly.
She looked at me and said "What if you knew today, at twenty-three years old, no matter how hard you tried, how much money you spent, how many tears you shed, or prayers your prayed, that you would never be a mother? Not even through adoption. Don't you think you should plan for that? Don't you think you should plan your future as if you will never be a mom? You're going to be on this earth for God-willing another 75-80 years. You need to plan for that and not worry so much about not being a Mom."
I told her that wasn't an option. I will be a Mom, some day, some how. I truly don't know what I would do with my life if I wasn't a Mom at some point. Sure, I could go to school to become something big and fancy and dedicate my life to whatever that was. But I don't want to. Will I really wake up tomorrow to being a childless 50 year old woman and regret that? I don't know.
It is indeed some food for thought. So, what about you? What if you knew from this day forward, you will never be a mom, ever. What are you doing with your life? Just a little food for thought.