My Upcoming Birthday

New Guy vs. Old guy post to come when I can think better. Ha!

I would like to say though, whatever told me it was okay to start a diet on a Monday, was fucking stupid. No soda? Yikes. Out of the first 10 patients, 7 were walk ins. FUCKING SEVEN!!!! This is NOT a walk in clinic, pick up a fucking phone. I have almost finished day one. Blah. I feel like shit.

So, this weekend new guy and I were talking, and it hit me. I am no where near where I thought I would be at 2-. I will be 2- on my next birthday and have nothing to show for it. I have been out of school for seven years, seven years? Wow.

Where did I want to be at 2-? To be a honest, my dreams of adulthood only consisted of being a wife and a mom. I don't want to do anything else, I'm sure that's sad to some. I don't have any big dreams of being a lawyer, doctor, teacher, nurse, or banker. Kudoos if you are any of those or hope to be one. I prefer the "simple life", Wife & Mom. I guess I never thought it wouldn't be so simple.

Now I feel like a failure. A no body. I'm not a wife or a mom. I'm a single infertile, about as far as you can be from that dream. And it sucks.

I need to sit down and make a list of things I want to accomplish before next year's birthday. It could possibly be even more depressing, if I don't.


[I am full of fruit and soup, however I would kill for a soda or a chocolate ice cream cone right now. FUCK! If I gain weight on this, I will be pissed.]