Tuesday, February 27
Either this, this, or this.
The first thing, I have been waiting forever for this. It's finally coming out tomorrow but it's not exactly "on sale". It will help me lose weight. I know I would do it 3-5 days a week for an hour or so. I really want it.
The second thing, I have been wanting for awhile as well. Next month is frozen food deal month and with me saving an ass load of money each month on food I really want to invest in one of these!
And last, but not least, we really need to get the results from our third option before my appointment next month with the new docotor since I know it will be on the "to do list" for the doctor to check us out.
I want #1. I have to have #2. I need #3.
We will probably do #1 and #3. But it's fun debating on a way to blow some money.
What would you do?
Monday, February 26
"Hey Honey, while you're back there can you grab my meds and water so I can take my pills and get this over with all at the same time? I will probably barely make it to you climaxing without having a cough attack or falling asleep. But we at least need a shot this month. I mean InfertilePregnantWithTwinsAtWork promised me I would only need to see the doctor next month to comfirm we are pregnant, I'm not really broken. Yeah, this is going to be the month honey. Yeah. Right. Okay, you're done? Great! *MePassesOut*"..
Want to hear me give myself even more hope-filled thoughts? Maybe the cough syrup I have been taking will help the little swimmers get to the egg. Ha.Ha. I'm so going to regret thinking this. Damn the hope. Damn her.
Heigh Ho, Heigh ho, it's off to boink'n I go...
Sunday, February 25
I am still not feeling well and I honestly can't tell if I am getting worse or staying the same. My voice is pretty bad, my nose won't stop running, my fever bounces back and forth, body aches come and go, chills do too, as do the cough attacks. You would think by now the antibiotics would have kicked in at least a tiny bit. Maybe by tomorrow I will see a little change.
This next week will be pretty busy at work. OtherInfertileNowPregWithTwins has taken off a week to see her family. I can not tell you how mentally relieving it will be not to hear constant twin talk for a week. Also, while I am on the subject, when people ask her when she's due she says "Well, when we thought it was one my due date was in Sept, but now that theres two I guess it's August". Okay, let me get this straight, because you are pregnant with two your due date just shrinks down? So if you had oh, septuplets maybe your pregnancy would be 3 months instead of 9? What the fuck? Ugh. Ignorance. (Yes, I know twins often come early, but that still doesn't change your due date!)
On the ugly cake front, I went to S@m's Club to discuss it with the manager and they sent me back to the bakery where the lady basically smirked it off saying there was nothing she could do since I didn't have the cake. If I hadn't felt like total dogshit from being sick, I would have probably taken it back that night, DUH! I barely have my voice and she still didn't care. So you know what I did? I wrote corp. Yep. I wrote a nice long but to the point e-mail and included the horrific picture. I really hope they come through and redeem theirselves because right now they are on my shitlist. Don't they know a happy customer tells one or two people but a pissed off customer tells everyone?? Yeah, S@m's Club, you suck.
I hope everyone has a fantastic week.
If I can kick this cold, I plan to have a pretty decent one myself.
Saturday, February 24
Friday, February 23
You know, it's really hard trying to talk to patients when only every other third word actually comes out despite your lips moving and your lungs pushing air out. All day long I heard "What did you say?", "Huh?", *crickets chirping*. Yes, like a dumbass I went to work today. My fever was non-existant today, just cough attacks, dizzy spells, running nose, and voice problems stuck around, that's all. It was rough, I won't lie. There were several moments I felt like going home, but I stuck it out and came home and crashed for 2 hours. Boy did that feel good. I am even ready to go to bed now and it's just after 9. Hopefully by tomorrow the antibiotics will have started to kick in.
No, I didn't call S@m's Club today, but tomorrow I will go in with the below picture to complain to the manager. Idiots.
I promise to take time this weekend at some point to stop by everyone's blogs. I'm sorry I suck so much.
Thursday, February 22
As if $1500 pending insurance wasn't enough for Jan and Feb I had to see someone today. Infact, I didn't see one someone, I saw two someones. Something I am good at is taking test with negative results. So as luck would have it, step and flu were both negative! Blood count was good. Fever bounced all day long thanks to popping @dvil every three hours. I do however have a really bad sore throat and ear infection. Oh yeah, and lovely cough attacks ever few minutes which shakes my brain and hurts so bad I am on the verge of crying.
So today I was given another round of antibiotics, a decongestant, cough syrup, and a nasal spray. I am also supose to alternate @dvil and Tylen0l every 3 hours to see if we can kick this fever. As long as it doesnt go to 102.1 or above, I can still go to work. Yeah, I am one determined bitch I tell ya! I was asked several times today if I wanted to go home but I insisted I could make it, barely.
Now tonight however, I am back and forth between the bed and computer chair when I know tomorrow I have to put together a baby shower for my friend at work due next month. I am supose to make her a 4 tier diaper cake that matches the cake I bought tonight. However, I am so dizzy I can't get off my butt and work on it, and it's 20 til 11. Fuck!
Speaking of cake, I will give a cyber hug to the first person who can tell me at least three things wrong with this cake. Ready? Set? Go.
Alright, give up? Pick three from the many listed below...
It's is spelt I'ts. The writting flips back and forth between print and cursive. The balloons strings are not attached to the balloons on two of them. The writting is not centered. Congratulations looks like Congratalationd. The balloon bows are crooked. Should I go on?
The cake sucks.
Due to me being so sick I had to take it though. However I will be writting S@m's Club a letter and I will call them tomorrow to complain. This is pathetic.
Wednesday, February 21
Am I the only one that can't believe tomorrow is Thursday? It felt like Tuesday all day to today!
Many wishes Hips tomorrow. Hugs sweetie!
Tuesday, February 20
- Please do not talk on your cell phone while checking in or standing within 10 feet of the front desk.
- If you do decide not to follow rule #1 please do not look at me stupid when you mumble shit and I say "Huh?" and you point to your ear because you have an ear piece for your cell phone that is hiding under your hair, neatly placed on your ear, yeah I have see-through-people's-hair eyes. I'm sorry I forgot to use them, how dare me.
- If you are a smoker, great. I am not. Please do not smoke a pack of cigs then stand inches from my face and bend over and talk to me using every ounce of oxygen you have in your pathetic lungs, espeially first thing in the fucking morning.
- Please brush your teeth at least once a day.
- Invest in a pack of gum or breath mints if you do not plan on following rule #3 or #4 and actually use them.
- Please do not walk in, that's what our phone number is for.
- Yes, we can see you, but there will be a wait.
- No, I don't know how long, you're a fucking walk-in! This isn't the free clinic!
- If you think you have been waiting a long time you should have tried the ER first.
- Please at least read over your insurance policy once.
- Yes, you have to pay your copay/deductible.
- Yes, even if it's a follow up.
- Yes, even if it's just to discuss test results.
- No, I don't want to take all your money, your insurance company does.
- Please sign the paper if your information is updated.
- Yes, even if you were here last week (or yesterday).
- Yes, your chart is up.
- No, I don't know when you will get called back.
- You only have (insert #) chart in front of your's.
- Please do not walk in and ask to have a prescription written right now.
- Please allow at least 24 hours before you run out of your meds before needing them.
- The lab does not open until 8:30, even if you get here at 7:15.
- Do not come in between 12 and 1 and expect to talk to a nurse, they are at lunch.
- When you do call, please do not press the option that says "if you are a physician or with a physician's office please press...." if you are a patient. I will not help you and I will redirect your call to the phone operator, even if you call three time's in a row.
- We have caller ID.
- We are NOT open on weekends and we do not have appointments after 3:30!
I do love my job, but this shit annoys me on a day-to-day basis.
Monday, February 19
My assistant boss sat down with me this afternoon to discuss the job of the girl I filled in for today. She gets behind too much and he wanted to sit down to discuss it with her tomorrow when she returns. He said he didn't really know where to begin, but thanks to a list I made over the day he said it's a clear as can be. If she just adapts to these things I do (or change them to fit her needs) she won't be able to get behind (or at least enough to have any one notice).
I may not be able to create a kid, but damn it, I am good at my job! :-P
:::::Side Note:::::: If you could send a few prayers and well wishes to my cousin. She is still in the hospital. They found a tumor they will have to remove near her spine. She is in very bad health due to her weight and the hospital is debating on sending her to another hospital 4 hours away because they don't know if it's best for her to be there. I'm sure she will be fine but the more well wishes and prayers, the better.
Sunday, February 18
Well I finally got to see A today. My grandma called late last night and said she was cooking breakfast and to see if we could get the baby this morning. I woke up at 8am and headed over to thugboy's house. To my shock and amazement they handed her over with no fuss. Gasp! She missed me and hugged me tight! I missed her, too. We came home and had a quick bath and got dressed then went to get my brother and we went to T@rget then out for the 45-60min drive to Grandma's house. She slept the whole way. We got to see my aunt and uncle and one of our cousons. Man he is getting big! We spent seven hours over there. My brother's ex girlfriend stopped by. I love her so much!! I think they may try to get back together. My brother and I were talking a bit on the way home about her. I think he's ready to "settle down" but he says he's also scared. We shall see! :-)
Well, I had a great time seeing my family and the baby. It was a nice time for all of us. I leave you with a new picture of A. Damn it she's cute!
Saturday, February 17
*Updated* K never called. My grandma called me and told me they were meeting up for lunch and asked if I had heard anything and was coming. I told her I hadn't but I would drive to thugboy's house to see what they said. I went over and K said she would call me back. She called back and said he didn't want her going with us. I said okay and hung up. I called grandma and told her and then I lost it. I cried. It's not fair. I know it's a power trip for them but it fucking sucks not seeing my niece. M got mad at me for crying and told me to get over it that there was nothing I could do. Sigh. I think I am going to go window shopping. We are trying to save money. Sigh. I fucking hate my sister right now. I hate the control he has on her.
Wednesday, February 14
My sister never came over today. She never even called. My mom is mad at me. Why is she mad at me? Because of the birthday cake drama. I made the cake and I wanted my sister to come over and eat cake with us and open her gifts. Instead, she wants the cake to be taken to Thugboy's Momma's house so they can have the cake to celebrate with. I am in utter shock she didn't come over to get her gifts because I wouldn't let her take the cake. I am in shock that she actually thought for a second that a cake I made for her I would just let her take any where. Um, last time I checked, when some one gets you a cake, you eat a piece with them and then you take the left over cake back home or where ever. I am hurt, very hurt. I have got to teach myself to let go of my sister and even more to let go of A. It's killing me not seeing A. It's killing me she didn't even come over to get her gifts and say "Thanks for everything you've done.". My mom says I expect too much and that a thank you isn't everything. Yeah, I wish I could say I didn't come from the same flesh as this woman, but unforchantly I can't.
Tuesday, February 13
Student @ Work: Hey, I need to see Dr... today.
Me: Okay, what time are you wanting early or late afternoon?
Student: Doesn't matter.
Me: What's wrong with you?
Student: Apparently you just have to wash your hands around here.
Me: Oh, you're pregnant too?
Student: Yeah and I don't even want a baby!
Me: Okay, she will see you at 12:45
Student: Thanks, I don't feel well.
Okay, so ladies and gentlemen (if there are any) this brings the grand total to 7 pregnant people at work. Seven. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7! Seven pregnancies, Eight babies. ..and counting-- AT WORK!
I called my Mom and she ask me if I had talked to my Grandma, I asked her why. She says it's something about my cousin. I asked if she was pregnant again (Grandma and I were talking Sunday about this) and she said "I can't say, just call your grandma". So I called her and I said "Grandma, is M pregnant? She is isn't she. I knew it! Ugh!". Grandma said that she wasn't pregnant that she's just having a bunch of infections and is in the hospital and she will have to have surgery soon with her gallbladder. What the fuck. I was so mad at my Mom I was in near tears calling my Grandma-- FOR GALLBLADDER SURGERY!? At least she's not pregnant again.
We went to dinner tonight. When we arrived the guy said he had the perfect quiet spot for us. Within 15 minutes of sitting down there was a family of 9 (5 kids) and another family (1 kid) of 3 within arms length of the table. Yeah, quiet? Ha! Every time I turned my head I got to see the little baby. What I wouldn't give to bring my baby to dinner with me. Instead I get to watch a 15 or 16 yr old with her little one. Lovely. Food was good, service sucked. Just another reason I hate to go out to dinner and pay full price, at least I didn't have to cook or clean though.
So yeah, tonight I am feeling a bit sad for myself. We are inching close to our third year of trying. This is getting annoying. Even if we had the money today for adoption we would have to wait another 2-3 years for the whole marriage and age thing (I think?) just to BEGIN that process. I look at 2007 and see myself full of pregnant bellies and new babies. Can I survive without being too fucking depressed and pissed off at the world? I know it's okay to cry, but I really don't want to spend my shower crying (so M doesn't hear me and get mad at me for being upset about infertility when we are supose to be in a good mood for Valentine's Day) but tonight I am hurting.
I also miss A. They keep taking her back to thugboys house when they know I get off for work. Assholes.
Monday, February 12
My mom asked me to get a cake for my sister since her birthday is in a few days. I told her I had planned to make her one for her birthday instead of wasting the money in buying one. She said that was fine but what is making me mad is that both my mom and sister expect me to make the cake so she can take it to thugboy's mom's house so they (his 10 brothers and sisters) can eat it. WHAT THE FUCK? I am making the cake it's for OUR house--not thiers! Am I being irrational for this thought? If someone is going to throw you a birthday dinner, you don't take everything and go to someone elses place. You celebrate with the person who is throwing the party. DUH! I really can't stand how fucking ignorant these people are. They expect so fucking much and are so fucking unappreciative!
M and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night for an early Valentine's Day dinner. Yes, I am cheap, yes it's a dinner special, and yes, I have a coupon. So what. Bite me. I'm frugal! We will get two steak dinners, two salad, four sides, two drink, AND two desserts for less than $15 (plus a tip) at a well known steak house. I told M not to get me anything for Valentine's Day. I really want to get the D@nce D@nce Revolution game & dance pad for Xb0x at the end of the month and it will be about $80, that's enough splurge for one month. We still have to get his SA done before my appointment, which is a month from Friday. So we are trying to save the extra money. It sucks but that's okay. Save now, spend later.
Oh, on a note, this morning I woke up with bad cramps, like menstrual cramps, it happened until I took some pain meds at 12. They were near my ovaries, every 2-3 mins and lasted 1-2 mins, like contractions or something, very painful. I was going to see the doctor about it but I decided to wait to see if the @dvil would help, which it did. So now I want to know what the pain was from? Cyst? Ovulation (CD 11, my cycles are never under 30 days--so I doubt it!)? Gas? or the new $exual position we tried three nights in a row that some how caused muscle spasms? Guess I will never know. But damn it, they hurt! So, what do you think?
Alright, I'm going to stop typing and take a shower.
Sunday, February 11
Yesterday, as I was cleaning an old wallet, I found a gift card to Old N@vy. I doubted there was anything on it, but I had M call to find out any ways. Sure enough there was $70 left on it. I was kind of mad because 2-3 weeks ago they had 50% off there clearance and I decided not to go because I didn't really need to spend any extra money, but hello--had I known I had a gift card!!! We went to 4 T@rgets, 1 mall, and of course Old N@vy. I picked up a soft, cute night shirt, and a nice black shirt I can wear to dinner for Valentine's Day. (Can you believe I bought them for FULL price? and NOT on sale?) I deserved a little pick-me-up.
My plans for today are to clean up a bit, cook dinner, and cut my coupons! What else is there to do on a Sunday?
Tomorrow I receive another doctor to check in for. I am pretty excited! The doctor went to our boss and said the other girl was just way too slow and they wanted me. Damn, it's kinda neat when the doctors want to vouch for ya! Makes ya feel all good. HeHe.
Well, here's to a new week!
Friday, February 9
This afternoon one of my patients came in and we were having small talk when he asked if I was married. I told him no and kind of laughed. He said he had two sons in their late 20's that I needed to meet. One of them owned their own business, the other worked at a very well-known business. One was a decorated soilder. Both were very nice gentlemen. I just chuckled along as he was going on and on about them. He said the only requirement was that I would have to want a bunch of kids, to be more specific, six. (There's that lovely number again!) I told him I could handle it. He said he would even throw in a car or two if I wanted. I laughed and said "a husband, a nice house, a nice car (or two), and six kids, what else was there to want in the world?". What a funny man. About an hour later, I was rounding the desk and asked the nurse if she had change for a five and my male patient jumped up and got his wallet out and asked me what I needed and said he would help me with anything and if I was with his son, I wouldn't need change. *laughing hysterically* I told him it was to give another patient change for his copay and he sat down. He left and said he would try to get his sons to come in one day. It was hysterical, I would die laughing if he brought one in or something related to them and me. It was nice day dreaming for this afternoon though!
I also need some prayers for my sister, niece, and thugboy. They had a big falling out and he is no longer allowed any where near this house. Less than 2 hours after the falling out happened, they "got back together". I just pray this doesn't bring back the bullshit we went through last summer. I really, really can't stand that kid.
Happy Friday ladies, Happy Friday!
Thursday, February 8
I NEED TO GET LAID!!!
Today is such a sad, sad day. May God rest her soul and she get the peace she needs. I pray for her daughter and family.
Wednesday, February 7
Speaking of Valetine's Day, does anyone else buy for the men in their lives on Valentine's Day? I got M something tonight, he has no clue I got it and it should be a good suprise.
Well, I am heading to bed, I am almost back to normal, I think I will wake up with my voice almost completely back to normal tomorrow or the next day. Now if I could get my nose to not feel so sore in the inside from my nose running for a week straight, that would be even better!
Tuesday, February 6
The worst part of today, besides around 2:45 when I really was just past what my body could handle, was all the fucking pregnancy talk with exinfertilenowpregnantwithtwins and everyone, especially the ladywiththebabyshowerdrama. You know, I know pregnancy is a miracle, especially for an infertile, but my goodness I am sitting right there and you know I am still having fucking trouble conceiving, have a fucking heart you dumbasses! Ladywiththebabyshowerdrama leaves for maternity leave Friday. WOOOeffingHOOOO three more days, One, Two, THREE!! It should at least make that part of my day a bit more bareable!
If there is a lesson to be learned with life and infertility, I wish I could grasp it. Some days really are tearing me up inside. It's amazing what you can go through when you think you can't quite hang on any more and it throws you more shit just to make the ride a little more exciting.
Boy, oh boy, do I have a lot of questions to ask the big guy.
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it's back to work I go tomorrowwwwwww.... :-)
Monday, February 5
Sunday, February 4
Guess I am going to try to watch the super bowl and pray (and pray some more) that I can get some kind of sleep tonight. Laying down is the absolute worst, but it's all I feel like doing. Go figure.
Can you believe I didn't go shopping today??? First time in nearly 4 months I haven't gone shopping on a Sunday!
Saturday, February 3
That would be starting your cycle. Yep, on top of the other stuff, my cycle started. A 43 day cycle. Now I really wonder if that medication did help at all or not. I wish I could have kept taking it to just to see what it did before we go to the doctor. Oh well, the side effects are just not a risk I am willing to take.
I am going to crawl back into bed and hope I get better by Monday.
Thursday, February 1
Well I am heading to take a shower then it's off to bed, I think I am getting sick, chest congestion, coughing, etc. Blah.
Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!