Pregnancy Test

Well, I drove to Doll@r tree to get a few test to take. Unforchantly, they have closed!!! WHAT??? Empty building. Now I have to find a place to get cheap test and now I have to wait to take a test. Wahhhhh. Cycle day 41, sore boobs, cramping off and on for 2-3 weeks. Last two cycles were in the 50 day mark. Fuck. What to do, what to do. Wait. I guess.

---

I have been watching the news each night praying for baby Alyssa. She died. Fucking jerk needs to rot in hell and be shaken to death. When I die, I really want to ask God why he gives people like this children but makes us (infertiles) suffer.

Six Weird Things

Jodi and Sandra both tagged me for this one. Thanks ladies! :-)

Six weird things about me ...

• If I like someone, I really care if they don't like me. If I don't care about you, I don't give a flying fuck what you think about me.
• I can go shopping 7 days in a row and still not feel like I have shopped enough.
• I only drink beverages (except coffee & cocoa) ice cold. I will go many, many hours without drinking if I forget to refill the fridge. I also always have to drink with a straw.
• I always have to have socks on, you will only catch me barefoot with sandles on, no matter how hot it is.
• I have key-hole shapped pupils, not weird to me, but rather, unique.
• I rarely, rarely eat left overs and I hate frozen prepared foods.

Okay, so there are 6 weird things about me, now it's their turn!

Jesus Was Not A Republican, Going It Alone, Dead Bug, My Journey, and Jenny From The Infertility Block

Tomorrow's topic: pregnancy test

Wild Weekend!

Yesterday I met one of my patient's from work at the local mall's kid's play area. I had A and my best friend's son, C, who is 4. Debbie's son is 13mths. We ate dinner at the food court then took the kids to the play area. It was kind of nice getting away for some girl time. We both agreed we would have to see each other more than at the office with a sick kid (or mom, lol). Debbie is my age and lives down the street so I see a few more playdates in our future.

Today was my weekly trip to W@lgrens for my steals and deals. I also came home and clipped my coupons, it was SO much easier this weekend instead of having about 20 inserts staring me in the face I only had 5 total. Today's trip was about $90 with $35 out of pocket and about $20 coming back in rebates, not too shabby savings at $75!

Thugboy and I got into it big time today. He yet again played the bullshit card about me being "evil" and that's why I can't have kids. He started this fight over my dad coming over to pick up my mom and he gave A a kiss while she was asleep on the couch. He starting going off cussing saying "Don't you ever fucking kiss my daughter again, I'll kick your ass". When my dad left I asked him why in the fuck he wanted to fight over a KISS!!! He started in on me and I just went off on him. I swear I hate that kid. He's a worthless fucking idiot!! I wish A had better parents, I feel so bad for her when the day comes soon that I won't be here to take care of her on a day to day basis. My God how my heart breaks just thinking about it.

Well, my doctor is off this whole week! Yey!! I hopefully can get caught up on some things as long as my boss doesn't become a dickwad and start having me do other things.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! Mine was pretty good over all. :-)

Here's to a new week....

Why I Love My Job

Today I filled in for another front desk girl at our new office area. The nurses and doctor were so happy to be going home on time. They said have been days they haven't left the office before 7 since moving to our office. I was so proud of myself. I am fast I do my job very well! I even had a patient comment on how friendly I was, she said when you're sick and not feeling well it's nice to come in to an office were they greet you at the front desk and tell you bye when you leave.

I love my job. I can't say it enough, I love working front desk. If not anywhere else in the office, this is my home.

On a side note, the baby shower was today and apparently I was "talked" about since I was at the other end..lol.. dumbasses. :-) How old are we again? I hope she goes into labor over the weekend and I don't see her for another month or two. Belch.

I will do a medication post tomorrow. Hopefully! :-) I did a medical no-no, but learned my lesson. Hehe!

Why I Hate Working With Over 50 Women...

Do you remember as kids, at camp or daycare, where you all sat in a group, of about 15-20 kids, the first person whispered something into the next persons ear, so forth and so on, then the last person yelled what the first person said and it was NEVER the same thing? The saying "I Hate Daycare" would turn into "Rainbows are ugly!", or atleast something like that.

Well, that's kind of what happens with you work with over 50 other women. One person says one thing, then it goes like wildfire until someone gets burned. We have five women pregnant, (Feb-March-June-August-September), since Feb and March are so close everyone assumed we would do one big baby shower at work, two birds with one stone kinda thing. Well apparently Feb didn't really want that. She wanted her "own". Whatever. In Dec we decide we want to do something early-mid Jan for her. Nothing was ever decided until last week. Party would be tomorrow during lunch. The other infertile (yeah, that one) and I were the "planners". She was getting the cake because it's her best friend and I would make favors, bring ice cream and balloons. (FYI, It's her first, she had a home shower this past weekend but only 2 people from the office of nearly 60 were invited, everyone else was left out, with that, some people were already kind of mad.) Well I asked OI how they were going to do the gifts and she said that they probably would just put them in the truck and open when she got home because it would be during lunch. So, everyone was asking how this was going to work with everyone having different lunch times and only 30 mins for Feb to eat lunch I told them I had heard she was just going to take the things home to open. Well Feb got all pissed off and went off on OI this morning (with me sitting right there!) mentioning a "she said (me = she) blah, blah, blah. That girl didn't have shit to do with anything she aint grown, etc, yadda, blah". She didn't say anything to me all day about it, not saying "Hey, what was said?" or something along those lines. Just a bitch about me to the girl sitting next to me.

[Flash back two weeks ago, I was telling OI that I was going in with 2 other girls and making her a 4-6 tier diaper cake with minnie mouse since she liked that. OI said "when she was a few weeks along she said she didn't want a diaper cake so take that money and get something else". WTF? Okay, you can't just go to W@lmart or T@rget or BabiesRUz and pick one of this up, she knows I make these for baby showers and sell them on the side. She knows what's included. She knows it's useful. It was just a personal attack and I took it that way. There's no way you can't. I would never tell someone "I dont want was so-and-so makes, she should be buy me something else". That's rude. So I even though I have been pissed about that I was still going to be nice and help throw the party.]

If it wasn't for me finally sitting OI down and deciding what day and making the invite, she probably wouldn't have even had this party. So I got really pissed off this morning and decided I am not doing SHIT! I am not getting her anything. I won't give them the favors and I didn't buy any ice cream or balloons. If you want to be a bitch on the sly, I will to. Two can play that game. So, congratufuckinglations.

Was that being a bitch? Probably. Do I care? Not really.

[Dawn, I will answer your question tomorrow, it's not assvice. :-)]

Thyriod Back

Well, my thyriod came back normal, I was meaning to go back and write the numbers down to compare to last year but totally forget. However, my ALT (liver function) that was high two weeks ago at 32 (supose to be 30 or below) jumped to 48. Ack! I don't drink either! But I think we have found the problem so we will retest the ALT in a few weeks to see if it goes back down.

Glad to at least know it's not my thyriod.

Fucking Give Me A Break!

So what's worse than this?

Finding through the same way that she's having twins.

Yeah, barely held it together AGAIN. I see a crying fit in my future tonight.

I know I should be happy for her. I know it. Damn it why can't I not want to cry? I knew she was pregnant with more than one from her first beta. I didn't say anything to anyone but it was like 3385. I came home and googled it, plus I have seen it too much on different blogs to know better.

FuckingMotherFuckerThisFuckingSUCKS!

Not only do I get to listen to her being pregnant for the next 32 weeks...I also get to listen about how much joy she's going to have having TWO babies because she's waited so long. (insert me blowing chuncks) YaddaFuckingYadda.

Sigh. My favorite comment SHE made today?

"Well, we will never owe the IRS again!"

One of the other 5 (one had her baby so now the total is only 5) found out today she's also having a girl and she is very pissed off because she has an 11mth old girl and if she's at least got to be pregnant again she wanted a boy.

So yeah, FUCKING GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

Test Results Back

Well, all but the labs. Everything basically came back fine. The holter came back with a few moments of high bmp (130-145). But over all nothing that looked too terribly weird. He was just concerned about the parts with high bmp. The doctor said he could tell I had open heart surgery and my "heart muscles" looked thick like they had to work "more". But he said over all the surgery looked very well done, just a lot of scar tissue. He did say he wish she would have took more video from the lower heart area but not so much that we would redo it at this time. I am to stay off all my meds and cut the caffiene and chocolate. DAMN IT TO HELL! :-) Oh for the love of my heart!

I have also decided to go ahead and get that dance mat to help work out and I am going to watch what I eat a bit more and *gasp* drink more water. Hopefully by the time I see the doctor in March, I will have lost 5lbs, give-or-take.

My thyriod levels should be back in the next few days, apparently they only do those 2 times a week and I am not sure which batch mine got into. Hopefully no later than Wednesday but prefferably some time tomorrow.

Another Sunday

So what's a girl to do?

Cut coupons like the last 4 Sunday's of course! Well I am finally caught up and my binder is probably 6-8in thick, but I am offically organized! Weee! I may even post pictures this week of all of my stuff. M says it's embarassing. But I just can't help it. How can you not smile when you walk out of the store getting $70 worth of items for only $15?

I am going to take a nice hot shower and then I am going to watch Steve Irwin's last episode, Ocean's Deadliest on Discovery (also on Animal Plant 8/7c).

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Test Results

Well my test results from the echo and the holter (and lab work) should be back on Monday. The lady did comment that she could see where I had surgery (scary kind of neat) I also had an allergic reaction to all the tape on my chest I was wiped down with cream after cream and put on some kind of allergic reaction pill. I'm still pretty splochy but seem to be doing okay otherwise. Keep your fingers crossed for Monday.

Heartache of A New Kind

I woke up this morning very, very tired. I got up and ready for work and went on in any way. Before lunch I talked to my aunt (a nurse) and told her I was having chest pains but that I thought it was just my boobs and my open heart surgery scar. They cut across my left breast and the scar is from the left side of the nipple all the way to the middle of my back. When my boobs grow/get tender and such it pulls the scar and causes discomfort. They took my bmp and it was 126 (supose to be under 100) so yeah, not so much related to the scar. They did a chest x-ray and ekg and put me on a holter monitor and took some blood. I will have an echocardiogram done tomorrow and hopefully we will find whats causing the chest pains. I came home around one and took a nap. Guess I will be taking it easy tonight. Blah. Go away chest pains!!

Weight Loss Help?

I went to my friends house tonight to watch American Idol and give the kids a toy I bought them a few weeks ago on sale. They had Dance Dance Revolution. I love it. I hate it but I love it. I am debating on getting it to help me lose weight. Hmmmm... pay on debit or lose weight?? lol

Oh There She Is!

Hope, the annoying little lady, Hope! I feel her creeping into my mind set. I think I ovulated within the last 36 hours. The other infertile at work is just SO excited for me and reminds me daily telling me she knows I will get pregnant within the next cycle or so, it's just in the cards for us now. Damn it. Damn it. False hope. I keep trying to shake myself into reality. It might not work, again! It could, but it might not too! I don't want to get back into that deep depressed state again. I've been doing better over the past few months. Yeah, some days are hard. But on a day to day basis, I am feeling a bit better than I was a year or so back.

For now though, I will hang on to hope. She's kind of nice sometimes. Sometimes.

Friends You Went To School With & Infertility

Yeah, I may be in my early 20's but there are days when I feel like it has been forever since I was in school! I'm sure like most of you I haven't kept in touch with many people from middle/high school. I have come across a few from time to time in the grocery store. Prior to working my current job I was a Nanny and for most of those years I worked from home which left a very, very slim chance I would run into someone I grew up with.

Things changed when I started working at one of (or is it #1?) the largest physican groups in our area though. I worked Medical Records and phones for awhile so I would only come across maybe 1 every few months. Since working front desk last summer though, I have seen LOTS of people I went to school with. It's kind of neat seeing people "all grow'ed up". A few are like I suspected, coming in every few months for STD testing or vaginal discharges. A few have gained weight that use to be "hot shit".

But the hardest thing is seeing them with their kids (or bellies). Especially when they see A's picture on my desk and tell me how cute she is and ask if she's mine. I want my baby's picture up there. I want to take MY baby to the doctor for check ups. I want it to be MY baby running around the office like a crazyloon.

Today I ran into the sister of the girl I admired most in middle school. She asked how I was doing and I told her wonderful and that I had recently been thinking about her sister and wondered what she was up to. Apparently she's back home and 8 months pregnant. Interesting. I am going to get her number tomorrow from work and give her a call to see about stopping by.

It's funny how time changes. It's funny how you think other peoples lives will end up being and how you think you plan yours. Some how it never really works out that way.

Guess that's why they call it life.

They Go Away So Fast

Man do the weekends fly by or what? Well I did a little shopping as always and I spent another 6 hours organizing my coupon book (yeah, if I would have kept up cutting them, my weekly cut time would be less than an hour..lesson learned!). I was able to get my bloglist back in order, now I just have to find the time to update my list on the blog to fit everyone! I have to make a better effort and keeping that up as well. Only time will tell.

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!

Oh Where Oh Where Did You Go?

If anyone reads Naked Ovary or Baby Quest or Infertility Grace could you please drop them a line for me. I am trying to get my blog list back together and they are now PW'd but I would still like to visit them! Thanks!

Almost Came Close

Today was the first day I have almost literally come close to slapping someone in the face for telling me "You're young, relax!". A lot is being discussed in the blog world about young/old women and infertility. I feel for each and every one of us.

However, my pain is still real. I still go to sleep some night crying.

I can't see myself 15 years from now. I don't know what type of person I would be like if I still don't get pregnant (or adopt) 15 years from now.

My pain doesn't know how old I am, nor does it care.

I am blessed I have time on my side, that's definatly a plus in the books.

May we each come to the end of this journey with the child/ren we have fought for.

Another One Arrives...

Go give her some love!

Lab work is in..

Well I have my lab back. I snuck and got it online since the doctor wasn't in today or tomorrow and I saw it was in. (I know, I'm bad! Oh how I love working at a doctor's office!!)

Cholesterol was 209 now 201 ( normal - 50.0-200.0)
Triglycerides was 99 now 153 (normal - 25.0-200.o)
HDL was 45.5 now 39.1 (normal - 45.0-65.0)
LDL was 140.7 now 131.3 (normal - 0.0-130.0)
Cholesterol/HDL Ratio was 4.3 now 5.1

My ALT is high at 32.0 (normal 5.0-30.0) I haven't had that taken before.

My Insulin, Free 14.8 (normal 4.0-20.0) I also haven't had this taken before.

Testosterone, Total was 45 now 41 (normal 2-45)
Testosterone, Free was 1.76 now 2.37 (normal .70-2.30)
Percent Free Testosterone was 7.9 now 9.7 (normal 0.1-6.4)

Although I probably won't have a clearer picture until we see the new doctor in March, some things are better and others are worse.

What I don't understand is why my HDL (good cholesterol) is considered LOW, I haven't made THAT much of a differance in my diet. I also don't understand why my ALT (liver function) is high. I am not a drinker. I also don't understand how the total of my testosterone has gone down, both the other numbers have gone up.

I was supose to come home and use Dr.Google to see what this could mean, however, I had a rough day at work and decided to go shopping at T@rget at 8pm tonight.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Yes, I need to work on that whole diet thing. Dang it!

To My Humboldt, TN Reader

I check my stats often to make sure "family/friends" who know me IRL don't find my blog, and not tell me about it. So far, so good! However I do have a visitor a tad close to home and I am curious as to who they are.

If you are my Humboldt, TN reader please introduce yourself. You can post a comment or e-mail me.

Focus On Your Goal!

[Baby picture below the spilled thoughts.]

The other infertile turned mom2be at work is very hopeful that I will get pregnant soon. She says it's just in the cards for us now and I am next. As I have stated I didn't feel like this was our year. I guess maybe year after year of having hope that "it will work this year", I have come to a realization that it could very well but another year fighting this battle. I do have high hopes for this new doctor and think that at the very least she will lead me to our next step.

When people find out how long we have been trying, we always get the response "Well that's your problem, you've been trying too hard!!". Yeah. Thaaaaaaaaat's it! Thanks for the diagnosis doc! Silly me for wondering what we've been doing all this time!

Today at work we had chinese food. My fortune cookie said it best:

You will never hit the ball if your worried about all the ways you can miss it. Focus on your goal.

So I am going to try my best over the next few weeks and months to not worry about how many ways we can not get pregnant and just focus on the end result, a miracle.

One way or another, I'm going to be a Mom.

[Side Note: Still a few more labs to come in, hopefully by this weekend I will have everything back for a better look.]

At last, for those who want to look, I leave you with this.





My oh My Amaya, you're getting so big!

Infertiles & TV

Why is it that infertiles on TV are always betrayed as desperate people who are willing to do anything including killing, kidnapping, etc to get a baby? This weekend I decided to tackle getting my coupons organized and I sat at my desk for a few hours and watched several episodes of Standoff from FOX on VOD via mysp@ce. It's been an awesome show I can't believed I have missed, until tonight. I was watching one of their episodes tittled 'Man of Steele'. It portrayed an infertile couple who couldn't have a baby the 'natural' way and who decided to adopted 'illegally'. They paid a teenage/young mom $15,000 for a baby then as her due date arrived, she disappeared. The man was so upset he decided to go to the lady's house to find her and ask her why. What began as a police chase, ended at her house, where he kidnapped the teenager in the house, who turned out to be the babysitter, babysitting the newborn baby. I won't give up the "ending". But I hate how infertiles are portrayed in television. We've all seen those Lifetime movies. We've all heard those news stories about killing women for their babies, etc. That's so not how 99.99% of us infertiles are.

Just because I want something more than anything in the world doesn't mean I am going to kidnap or kill someone to get that dream. I know it's television but people believe what they "see". I don't want to be put into that catagory-- desperate infertile willing to cheat, steal, & kill!

I know, a little dramatic. But am I the only one that feels this way?

Coming soon -- updates on my lab work! It's slowly trickling in, once all comes together-- the big picture.

My New Doctor...

As I was on hold with the doctors office the other day it said they had a website. I googled my doctors name and office to see what she looked like and to see if there was any other information about her. I have to say, I think I might be very pleased. One of the lines said "her primary expertise is in infertility....." how awesome is that? I had it narrowed down to two doctors and just picked her because of her last name lol.

March 16th come on....!! :-)

Tattoo

M has a tattoo on his leg he got in Vegas while he was living there. I hate it. I hate the circumstances that he got it for. When he got his Christmas money he wanted to go get two more tattos (chinese symbols for Past, Present, Future) to complete the set. Well, we finally went to go get them today. He took his bandage off and I had to laugh, I think one of them is off. I told him but he got defensive. My stomach hurts from laughing though because he's been such a blah about hurrying and getting them instead of waiting to find someone we know who has used someone, but, whatever. I'm giggling inside just thinking about it (yes, I'm a total bitch!)

He wants me to get one and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to get. I would want something infertility related. Does anyone have an infertility tattoo?

Better Today

Well, as it says above, I'm better today. Today there wasn't much to cringe about. Still lots of pregnancy talk and congrats. I'm sure there will be worse days to come, but for today, it's a decent one. I won't go to bed crying tonight.

I also noticed I messed up the amount of pregnancies at work, there are actually 2 more, making the grand total 6! (Out of 50ish) One girl just found out (she is one of the nurses to the doctor that just joined us) and the other one is denying she's pregnant to everyone (maybe she was raped, or giving it up for adoption, or something else) It's really annoying, I've heard she;s got a crappy home life, but why not even acknowledge that you're pregnant, we're not all stupid. People have even felt her belly and she still says its her fibroids. Whatever. Maybe she mis-heard the doctor when they said "fetus". I feel like I am watching my favorite television show and I get pulled away during the last commerical break and come back and it's 2 mins past the next hour (My gawsh does that just suck!!!). She will leave to have her "fibroid" taken care of soon she says).

Well, I am off to watch You, Me, & Dupree with M. Good Night.

(Five for Five!)

Remember That Conversation We Had?

A few months ago, (I thought I blogged about this alread, but couldn't find it!), my infertile co-worker and I were talking and she said "If I find out I'm pregnant, do you want me to tell you first or do you want to hear it from someone?" I told her I wanted to be told, in the afternoon as I was leaving to go home and first, that way if there were any hard feelings, it would be away from her. She agree'd and said she would like the same for her. Okay. Deal. Deal.

This morning, she tells me she's pregnant as I walk into the room (as she's telling another girl) My heart sank. That's now how she said she would tell me. That's not fair. I said congrats and went to my desk. Now I know she's been trying as long as I have and wants it as bad as I do, but it still hurts. I feel guilty for feeling like this. I wanted to cry so hard, but I work front desk, I can't have a red face. I had to make sure I was breathing a few times because I felt like I had forgot how to. I am so very happy for her, and she deserves it, honestly. But I am so, so, so alone in this big world.

Now the count is up to 4 pregnancies. Four. One due in Feb. One in March. One in June. And now, Aug/Sept. Sigh. I work next to this girl, I can't exactly escape the pregnancy talk when I want to. Man I feel so, so sad inside. So hurt.

The thing that makes my stomach hurt the most though, as I was thinking about it at my desk..Next Christmas she will have a baby.

I want a baby. I want to experiance Christmas with my child. The thought of yet another childless Christmas is flat out heart wrenching.

So what did I do? I made an appointment to see a new doctor , March 16th (next appt avail. when I can take off)..and then, on my way home, I stopped by here and got a banana split with chocolate marshmallow, peanut butter cookie dough, and cake batter ice cream. Sigh. I ate it in the car on the way home and when M went inside, I stayed in the car and cried.

I think after I finish typing this out, I might take a hot bubble bath with this and do some more crying.

Three For Three

I wanted to blog more this year..so far, three for three!

Well, we have some thoughts going around our heads about some things, moving, treatments, adoption, saving, not saving, stuff. I don't really know what to blog about it though. I want someone to give me the answer, but I can barely find the answer myself. M might finally be some what on the same page with what I had in mind, but he still things if we just try some more it will happen, one day.

I don't know what we want to do, a bit more talking for the both of us, but we are at least talking instead of fighting. It's a start.

My Patients, My Job

So as you may (or may not) know, I work at a doctor's office. We are a fairly large practice, mainly Internal/Family Practice. We are in the process of adding yet another physician to our office.

I went into work today, my doctor is off for another day so I was going to take down all the Christmas stuff (much to my desk buddy's happiness!) and wrap up a few more things and see if the new doctor's nurses needed any help with any misc. crap.

I went in at 7:15, with my breakfast from Ch!ckfila in tow. I start to take down the Christmas stuff and assist the few patients that come in. Around 8:30 my boss informs me the new doctor is going to see patients TODAY! Now mind you, we don't even have the charts unwrapped from the move, they are in plastic folks! No accounts are in the system. Nothing. Nadda! So yeah.. it's fine, I have about 15 before lunch. I was steadily busy. (For the record, you may not be a new patient to the DOCTOR, but if she moves offices, YES you ARE a NEW patient and WILL have to FILL out NEW paperwork!) At 10 my boss tells me I have to fill in for another girl AND continue to do my job. So I end up having 5 doctors. WONDERFUL!!! Just what I had planned! (I only made three mistakes!...you know your tired when you put a patients chart up that hasn't even signed in..lol! I double checked the waiting room when I left at 5:30 and made sure I didn't forget anyone lol!) All in all, I am exhausted as hell, but I survived!

Now a word on my patients. We have all sorts of patients, normal, crazy, cranky, bitchy, nice, ugly, sweet, drug seekers, old horny guys; every kind. One of my old horny guys, usually comes in every month (or less) for his V!agra prescription, brought me (and two other ladies) Christmas presents and told us not to open them until Christmas. Well, this freak got me a skimpy silky robe. HELLO DUDE! I am barely in my 20's and you're totally older than my dad--EWWWW!!!!! (For the record, I threw it away, wouldn't have got my fat @ss into that any way!) He also got one of the other ladies the same thing. He really doesn't know me like that. Weird. Weird. Then today, one of my drug seekers (who we are about to fire, tata! You may be a nice person pre-meds, but dude, you need help.) came in and brought a bag and said it was Christmas presents for me and the other lady sitting next to me. He gave me that line, "Don't open until I leave." I was so nervous, wondering if it would be matching th0ngs or something. Well it was actually a very sweet gift. The first item was a little crystal looking angel (gave to my best friends daughter, she loves it!) and a "couch" looking cell phone holder. Very neat!

Patients can be very unpredictable at times, but I love em'!

I Just Called To Say..

....."Hey Girl, I'm heading to Iraq."

That's the words out of my best friend from middle/high school's mouth this afternoon when she called. We speak about once every 6wks or so. She's in North Carolina and heading to Germany tonight. She is going to Iraq for 4-6mths, they say.

My thoughts and prayers are with her until she returns safe and sound.

I love you girl! Be safe!