This time of year usually is a pretty rough time. For years and years my mom's depression seems to get worse around the holidays which always made it worse on me. Five years ago this week my cousins body was found at the bottom of a lake in her car, she was only 15. Four years ago we began the first of many holidays hoping to be able to announce to family and friends we were pregnant. Three years ago my sister stole jewelry and a gun from my aunt and grandma, which caused a split in the family when they pressed charges. My mom also hasn't been to Thanksgiving or Christmas since. That same Christmas we found out my cousin was pregnant and didn't know who the daddy was. Two years ago my sister announced she was pregnant by the guy who helped her steal the things from our family and told the cops he didn't do anything and she almost got 15 years in prison for it. Last year I found out the only infertile friend in real life I had, was pregnant, a co-worker told me. A few weeks later we found out she was having twins.
This year, well, I don't know what's going to happen this year. I keep hoping for a good holiday season, but only time will tell. I already put up our Christmas tree and decorated the outside (it was 70 today, how could I NOT take advantage?). This year I have a 1 year old niece who is the only reason I can bare to continue for on the bad days. I do feel a bit alone this year though. A little left behind if you will. I just have to keep remembering what the title says, in due time.