There is just not enough room for one post about relationship issues. I have sat down, at least five or six times, to get my feelings out and I just can't. There is just not enough room on one post to get this accross. Maybe I should break it down. I really would love to have insight from other women on their issues as well.
Like infertility, noone ever "talks" about this shitty times. No wonder the divorce rate is at half. There have been many, many moments I have honestly wanted to call it quits. Even now, I stop and think that maybe God isn't giving us children because we aren't meant to be together. It's a possibility. Or I could just be over-reacting.
Tonight I will talk about sex. Sex. Oh, sweet sex. Infertility can do a number on ones sex life, however I am way beyond blaming infertility for this. The first twelve months of trying, yeah maybe there were times he didn't want to have sex because of wondering how upset I was going to get when my period arrived. Maybe the whole every-day-for-fifteen-days thing burned him out, that one time. Maybe that whole every-other-day-for-twenty-five-days put him on edge. But the second twelve months? No, you can't blame it on that any more. I knew in my heart it wasn't "just" going to happen, so I laid off. (no pun intended, or is it?) And the third set of twelve months? What's sex? You have to have that to get pregnant? Maybe my lab results are wrong, maybe we could get pregnant, if we had sex.. I can only imagine what the next twelve months have in store for us. Ha!
I have tried everything, toys, thongs, nothing, and everything. His whole thing is I should have met him a while back when he was a manwhore. But the next sentance he will say that he would have never dated me back then, because I was too good for that. Funny little compliment? He would love it if I wore a thong every night, or slept naked. He says that I would get laid more often. Yeah, well, if I got a little bit of attention, I might want to floss my ass or sleep naked more often. Why am I the only one that has to work at this shit?
Before he worked nights, we had sex any where from 1-2 per 5-7 days, depending upon how busy we were. Now that he works nights? We have had sex once in three weeks and I was bored. I hid my face in the pillow so I wouldn't laugh cause I just wanted to get up and get back to what I was doing. The only reason I did have sex with him was because I felt bad it had been awhile, all his fault though!
Although I have thought about it, even came close once, I would never actually cheat on him, but for once, I wonder what sex would be like with another guy. I wonder if it would be better, or if it's even possible it could be worse? I know he mental notes me with his ex's, I have nothing to note him to except my fantasy world.
When we do have sex, it's 99% of the time great, no complaints, but good greif I'd like to at least have sex more than once per century! We are both in our early-mid 20's.. it should have to be like this. But I also don't feel like I should do all the work!
So, whatcha think? Am I alone?
More relationship post to come, my week will begin to get busier after today, so it may be next week before another boring post.
(Side note, I meant to post an * post yesterday reguarding me saying it was "funny", I didn't mean a ha-ha kind of funny, I was meaning an odd-how-life-works kind of funny. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I am sure most people understood what I meant.)