Happy Birthday To Me....

Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthdday to MEEEEEEeeeeEEe!!
Happy Birthday To Me!

Today was an awesome day! I came in to work at 8 with only one doctor to work for this morning, two this afternoon. It was a breeze for the most part. I recieved a bag from present from L, my girlfriend, she gave me a $20 gift card to the movies, two candles, and a cute card. I love her! I then got a card from everyone at the office. Then another few friends went in and got me a new scrub top with hearts all over it, and a chocolate to-die-for cake! Yum!! Around 10 I got a delivery of flowers and balloons! I got another delivery from my brother, how damn cute is that? :-) He's so goofy! M and I went to dinner to a mexican resturant and he gave me a necklace. Cute! Over all it was a wonderful birthday.

Tomorrow I have to be at work early though. Last weekend before my show. Scary.

Smooth It Goes

Well last night I had yet another break down and cried for an hour. I am so fustrated with my emotions lately. I know it's putting a toll on things but shit I can't help feel the way I do, whether it's about M, my sisters pregnant belly, hectic schedule at work, preparing for my show next week, TTC, lack of sleep...fuck yeah I'm stressed! M didn't feel like listening to me last night so he went into the living room. I fell asleep sometime later and felt him crawl into bed about an hour after I fell asleep. Good Night.

Today at work was pretty good though, I came a tad bit early because I knew I needed to. It really helped, I only forgot about three patients (thankfully they didn't get too pissed off). But other than that things went fine. Around 2:45 I heard a little voice, one I knew. I peered down from my desk ledge and there he stood, little D! He is absolutely adorable. He just turned three yesterday but talks better than most 6 yr olds I know! I said "Hey!" and he screamed "HEY! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!" I went into the waiting room and gave him a hug. He is so adorable! I told him tomorrow was my birthday and he wished me a Happy Birthday hehe!

On the cycle front..I am on cycle day 37, I didnt temp since I woke up 2 hours before my alarm clock and only slept 15 mins until my alarm went off. So no clue whats going on. Oh well.

Off to work on my cakes for a few hours, then I am hitting the sack! :-)

A New Week, A New Schedule

Well the girl that is going to have back surgery on Monday (4-3) has rescheduled it to this Thursday (3-30) because she is hurting so bad. Great. I am getting nervous but I guess it will all work out, of course it will, things always do. I have no offically taken over Medical Records request. I hope I can keep up with it.

Not too much going on in the TTC department. Temp still hasn't gone very high yet. I'm so fed up with my body right now. Cycle day 36 and counting.

Relaxing Weekend, Stressful Week

Well I had a pretty good weekend, it was relaxing. Saturday morning we woke up and went to the MDA Stride & Ride at the Memphis Zoo. It was a little cold but it was fun. They had the new polar bear exhibit open! We also got to see two monkeys getting it on. That was funny but the parents of the kids watching was funnier. I went to my grandmas/aunts house and got my business cards printed off for my show in 11 days. I didn't realize how long it would take to print off 1000 cards, ugh!

Today we woke up and lounged around for about an hour then went to the store to grab a few things. We came home and watched the Grizzlies kick ass. I love my boys!! I also made three cakes which brings me to my stressful week.

I only have 11 more days until my show. I have to have my table set up by next Tuesday or Wednesday. So it's getting close! I have to work this week doing front desk four days so that means I have to be there early, come home late, then work 6 more hours on my cakes. I'm sure it will all turn out fine in the end but I will surely be stressed and exhausted by the time it gets here lol!

My birthday is also on Thursday. Wooo Hooo!!

Exhausted: Emotional & Physical

Well this week has truly been a very very rough week for me. My boss informed me of my new hours and that alone wore me out. Although I love the new hours/job. But yesterday I woke up 30 mins before my alarm clock and I thought it was Saturday. It was only Thursday! Staying up late until 12-2 is wearing me out even more. But I have to get this stuff done for my show, it's fast approaching now.

I also had a talk with my sister last night. She said she didn't understand why I wasn't asking how she was doing. I told her we were dealing with infertility issues and I showed her the Empty Arms video thinking she would get a hint. After it ended she started going on and on about how it's so weird to be pregnant and that the baby kicks non stop. Oh thank you, just what I wanted to fucking hear. I held the tears in, after she left, I cried in M's arms.


I am glad it's the weekend, my body, heart, and soul, need the rest.

Temps, Funny little things aren't they?

Well I took some time to sleep this weekend and didn't temp a few days. Of course I should have O'd by now (CD 29) but unforchantly my temps don't really look like it. I hope I O within the next 24 hrs. If things had gone as "normal" my cycle would have been due around my birthday (the 30th) so I guess it's a blessing. I am hoping to have a good birthday and not have to think about bitch coming to the party!

Today at work BTW, was lovely! I wasn't stressed at all for a change!!

New Schedule!

A girl at work is going to have surgery and her last day is 4/1, she will return around 5/15. So I amd doing check in and the lady that is doing check in now will do her job with is refferals and surgery appts and such. I am *so* happy! I will do check in Tuesday-Thursdays, Monday and Friday I will still do floating, as of now. I have also aquired the job of Medical Records. Lovely! I hope to get that back on track. Tomorrow is my first day! The only down side is my hours will be from 7:30-4:30 (plus whatever time I stay later), then I have to come home and work on my cakes. I hope I can do it.

Sex & A Concert

Well I went to see Kid Rock in concert with M. I didn't want to go. I just sat there the whole time. M said I was "lame". I just don't like that kind of music. Oh well. He did put on a good concert though. It was bareable except for the blonde bimbo behind me spilled her beer twice, getting me on the arm. Ugh If you can't hold on to it, DONT GET MORE!

We got home around 12, so of couse he's way too tired to go to BD so with no BD in two days I am calling this cycle's BD fest to an end. Hmpf. We shall see..

Gimme Some Nun-Nah!

I went to dinner tonight with my friend and her two kids. The younger one is the closest with me. He's my little man. We were in the car waiting for his mom to get his prescription filled and he said "Weeeesa!" I said "What sweetie?!" He said "Gimme Some Nun-Nah!" confused I said "What?!" He repeated, "Gimme Some NUN-NAH!" I turned around and he had his hand in a fist and was trying to say "Give Me Some Knuckle!!!" I laughed so hard and gave him some knuckle. Hehe. I can't wait unil I have these moments with my own little ones.

Oh how my heart aches.

He's Got Some Fucking Nerve!

History - short version: In November 04 my sister and Thugboy stole a gun and thousands in jewelry from my grandma and aunt. They pressed charges. My sister faced 12 yrs in prison. Got a slap on the wrist and 5mths house arrest. Thugboy got nothing. In December 05, we found out my sister is pregnant, and due in June, and Thugboy is the father. Lovely.

I was sitting here working on my website/cakes and there is a phone call. I answer it. It's Thugboy. How fucking dare he call my phone! He really has some nerve. I haven't seen him since the day his mom begged my mom to try to get them to drop charges for her son and I haven't heard from him since December since we found out. I went off on him. I told him he had some fucking nerve calling my phone and hadn't he done enough to the family. He called me every name in the book like the Thugboy he is. I feel sorry for my sister and my niece/nephew. I just can't have anything to do with him. I have never hated some one so much in my life.

A Breakdown & A Basketball Game

Last night I had a breakdown. I cried for probably two hours. It usually happens about every few weeks but last night I just couldn't stop. M just sat there watching tv and didn't say anything. He is the most un-sympathetic person I have ever met sometimes. I asked him to at least pretend like he cares and hug me and tell me everything will be alright. His response? "But then that means I'm pretending". Gee, Thanks Asshole. I felt so much better after I let it all go. I certianly feel like I am fighting alone againist the world at times.

We did go to the Grizzlies tonight. I love going to the Fedex Forum. It was a blast. We won, of course! 93-76 Go Grizz!

Wonderful Day Until I Get Home

How in the hell do you have a wonderful day at WORK then come HOME and it ruin your whole day? Who the hell knows but M has totally pissed me off and now my Monday has gone from being wonderful, to fucking annoying! I feel like I work my ass off but it just not quite worked enough. He isn't happy if I am. Then he gets all kissy like it's okay, I should just get over it. Whatever. Ugh Ugh Ugh! I am so fustrated I could cry. But I can't because then I would be 'crazy'. *Sigh*

Approaching Ovulation & Who He Picks

Well it's getting close again, BD fest has offically began. I am due to O within the next week, not sure just yet exactly which day though. I don't have any hope for this cycle, not because I don't want it. But because it just doesn't feel like 'the one'. Even though we have been trying for almost 2 years now I sometimes think to myself, maybe we just aren't quite doing it right. Denial, at times. One day, I supose.

On another note, I have a sad addiction that has come to an end tonight. It's called VH1's Flavor of Love. I don't know why but it's like a train wreck, no matter how much you want to, you can't turn your head. Tonight Flav chose Hoopz. Poor New York, that bitch is crazy! They have a reunion special that will come on in two weeks. I can hardly wait! Am I the only one that thinks he looks like splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie?

Diapers But No Kids

Well I don't have any children, yet I have four cases of diapers in my bedroom. The joys. I have rolled over three hundred diapers today. Now if I can just stick to the plan and make the cakes tomorrow I will be on schedule!

Twins, Oh Joy!

Every Friday afternoon the office manager assistant makes an announcment over the intercom about who has done a good job for the week. Yes, it's corny, but so is he. Well his last words today were to announce one of our doctor's wife is pregnant with twins. Yey. I'm happy for him, he's a wonderful doctor. But I wish my OMA wouldn't have announced it over the loud speakers. It was a rough week now I get to hear about one of our doctors expanding his crew by two, making it a total of 4, 3 and under. Yet I can't quite manage to get one. Sigh...

Exercise and Update

Well starting tomorrow I will start exercising again. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday will be my work out days. In a month once time changes I will start biking again.

Update on the nurses, the good one is coming back to work as of Monday. They rehired her, woo hoo!

Knocked Up, Fired, & Other Ramblings..

As I posted Sunday how a "friend" is pregnant yet again. I signed on Monday and her new name just makes the other one sound SO much more polite! It says "I'm FINALLY knocked up!" Yes, you are! I hear ya, loud and fucking clear.

Yesterday at work two nurses got fired. I was *shocked*! For one of them it was just coming, she's always been a total bitch to everyone. No respect for anyone. Probably why the judge took her child away from her and gave him to the astranged father. She's pure trash. The other one however, was just jaw-hit-the-floor shocking. I almost cried infact. I am going to miss her. They had to fire her because Bitch nurse and Nice nurse did the same thing and instead of being a nice friend the Bitch nurse told the owner if she didn't fire someone else she was going to sue. What the fuck? Yeah, some friend!

Other Ramblings.. Well I finally sat down and made a time line for me to get ready for my show. I have been sticking to it and I think I will be ready to go. I can hardly wait!

I am also about a week to ten days away from ovulating again, the circle of life.

On a good note, I work check in tomorrow. Yippie!

5 Weeks and Counting

An online friend of mine was online tonight and this is what her IM name said. I knew it. I just fucking knew it. She couldn't come out and say "Hey Im pregnant." She had to make ME ask what the fuck "Five Weeks and Counting" was the count down until? This is her 6th pregnancy. She has four kids and had a miscarriage a year ago. We actually got into a tiff one night. She said felt the same way I do. No, Im sorry for your loss, but you dont. She has no IDEA how it feels to NOT have ANY kids and to not know when you will get that precious miracle.

*Sigh*

Four Things...

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Daycare Teacher
2. Preschool Assistant
3. Nanny
4. Multitasker! (Phone Operator, Medical Records, Check out, Check In, Billing, etc)

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Where The Heart Is
2. The Lion King
3. Monsters Inc
4. Save The Last Dance


Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Trading Spouses
2. Nanny 911
3. Flip This House
4. American Idol

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Flora-bama
2. Nasvhille
3. Oklahoma
4. Arkansas

Four websites I visit daily: (in order)

1. www.hotmail.com
2. www.eBay.com
3. www.babycenter.com
4. http://in-due-time.blogspot.com (then I go to the blogs on my list and surf from there)

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Hot Wings
2. Subway
3. Hot Tamales
4. Yogurt


Alright, I was bored.

Thinking Out Loud?

Have you ever had a moment where you thought out loud?

Well today, I did. Which could have turned into a *really* bad thing. I am on the phones still, two more days, but I have been on for 3 weeks now. Monday and Tuesday were horrible, non-stop ringing. Today was a tad bit better but I was still a little stressed.

This lady has called at least every other day since the week before last, asking the same thing, getting the same response. You'd think she'd learn. In Sept we sent her medical records but not a questionaire she had sent with it. The doctor had it and hasn't filled it out. Basically this guy wants t get disability but the doctor doesn't believe he is disabled. (Remember it takes all kinds to make this world go round) We as phone operators can't tell the lady or patient that per our boss.

Today she was a b*tch and kept being rude. Well she said that if I didn't take care of it today she would call every single day. Well, I, thinking out loud, replied back "Ma'm, I take hundreds of calls a day, one more really won't bother me". ACK! Did I really just say that?! Yup! She said "Oh Really?". I just said yeah and kept talking. The call ended on a happy note so no worries about her calling back and asking to talk to the office manager....

For now at least!

Off Again, On Again

Well I received an e-mail from the show's owner. She said I was of course in! Yippie!!! Now I need to buckle down and get things ready. I do not want to have to do everything in one week like last year. I am getting pretty excited! So mark your calendars, April 6th-8th! Eeek!