Apparently all of my life I have let people walk all over me. I guess I just want people to like me, specifically, my mom, brother, and sister. My dad is on the list too, I guess, but we rarely talk.
Yesterday afternoon I borrowed my playpen from my sister, K, because I was watching my friend's son and I was trying to get some things done. They haven't been using it any ways except to store things in. When I finished with it I went to give it back to her and she says, "No, We don't want it back. Don't worry about it. Thugboy is getting paid and we are buying her all new everything!". This struck a nerve with me. I have spent a lot of money trying to get ready for their baby since neither have a job and didn't buy her anything prior to her arrival. Not once has anyone offered to pay me back any of it, knowing damn well it didn't come to me free. So instead of keeping the things I have bought at really, really, good deals, they are going to pay some store full price for all new everything. I should have known when I began shopping I wasn't going to get my money back. So, now, before I buy more things I will have to ask myself, "Are you okay with buying this and not getting anything in return, not even a verbal "Thank You"?" The only exceptions will be presents for birthdays or holidays. They wouldn't do the same thing for me, and I surely have other things to spend/save my money on. So I am letting go of this hold they have on me. I am too nice. It's causing more harm than good.
Letting. Go. Now. Goodbye.