This week has been one full of emotions. I am not sure what brought it on or if it was a combination of a few things. Could it be that we hit the 15mth mark of us trying? Could it have been the coworkers pregnancy drive by? Could it be the that Matt's weight may be hampering us from conceiving? Could it be none of the above? Could it be ALL of the above? I guess there is no for sure answer. I just know I have been an emotional basket case. I am tired of the ups and downs of trying to concieve. I am tired of the lack of support from Matt in my feelings of us not trying. He assumes because his parents tried 15 years that they eventually got pregnant and that we will too. I just want a hug at the end of the day that no matter what, everythings going to be okay. I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if I ever will be a mother, I don't know if I will luck up and be a mom to as many kids as I want. I just don't know. And it's killing me inside. Until I obtain my goal of motherhood, I forever will have a hole in my heart that makes it incomplete. How much more can *I* handle?
God, if you are listening, You are getting close.